2009,

you keep letting me down.

you are officially going down in my books as the worst year of my life.

you still have two more months left in you,

please stop showing me what your made of.

Im stuck. I don't know what to do, or where to turn. It been nearly two years and i have allowed this to happen i allowed it to get this far. it was in my hand, i had total control. this should have ended before it started. i have been so miserable. i have missed out on so much. no prom, no friends, no going away to collge, no nothing, because i ( Read more... )

 it's been a real long time since i've been here.

i just spent a good hour reading past entries.. it's amazing to think of all that i've gone through and to think of how i've grown. but its sad to realize that i still can never get over him. but thats life for ya. aint it a bitch?

i hate love.

and everything about it.

so i guess i'll just refer to my problem as "it".

I saw It today and my heart just stopped. i still don't understand why that feeling won't just go away. I'm guessing it's just the real deal then. i want it to go away but at the same time, i don't want it to ever end. but it's not really there, because nothing is there. i still don't understand, why ( Read more... )

so it's my senior year. it's been almost 3 whole years and i still have not done, the one exact thing that i've needed to do all along. i'm talking to my new friend Ruben right now. who is in the same position as i am. he's the one that got me thinking about it. and we both agree, it's either now or never. i can either say what i need to say, and ( Read more... )

so everything has began to fall into place & i've finally got what i wanted.

i have a wonderful boyfriend whom i adore, who also just left to california for two week :(

and i have two jobs that i'm thinking i'm going to love.

life is so good right now, it's amazingggg!

i don't want school to start.

i hate being semi-grounded.

i hate myself for being so stupid.

i really miss bryan right now.

i'm way scared to start abercrombie this friday,

& i still don't have a "real" job.

this suckssss!

4th of july 2005 can kiss my ass. as do 2006.

today was bad.

me and bryan got in a huge fight. which is totally his fault but thats not the point. point being he brought up something he shouldn't have and now i think im really hurt. i don't think im a bitch and i dont think that i deserve what i've gone through. i don't want to talk to him ever.

( Read more... )

today somewhat sucked; actually it sucked a lot.

it all started off when....
 i went swimming with Ash, Claudia, & Bryan: 
my body hurts and is burnt from that damn sun. maybe it wasn't a good idea to be out for 5 million hours.

& then bryan wants to be a fucking dick:
he decides he doesn't want to be friends anymore ....tells me hurtful things... then ( Read more... )