TSCC Fic: It's Good to be Neighborly-Part 3
Sarah had gone into this expecting misery, torture. She wasn't a fan of either, having experienced too much of both in too short a time. Be that as it may, she'd prepared herself to grin and bear it, to be there for Kaci, to pretend that she wasn't miserable.
Sarah hadn't expected that Kaci would loathe this gathering just as much as she did. She hadn't anticipated the need to shield her neighbor from Brenda and her friends, and their sugar-coated insults. And though she hated the fact that Kaci had to put up with this, it was something of a comfort, knowing that she, too, wished to be anywhere but here. It was also surprisingly comforting to fall into the role of protector. A nice change of pace, actually. Instead of defending her son against homicidal machines, she was defending Kaci from a pack of bitchy geriatrics. Said bitchy geriatrics happened to be making her homicidal, but Sarah was used to feeling that way. Besides, if worse came to worse, she had no doubt that Cameron would do a great job hiding the bodies.
The physical positions of everyone in the room were a perfect representation of the dynamics at play. Sarah and Cameron sat at opposite ends of the couch, flanking Kaci on either side. Sarah would've preferred a spot next to Cameron, the better to watch her and make sure the cyborg didn't make another attempt at shooting Brenda. However, Kaci seemed more comfortable having support on both sides, so Sarah didn't argue. That, and she was starting to care less and less about Brenda's physical safety.
Brenda's friends surrounded them on all sides. The remaining loveseat, the kitchen chairs, the stools by the counter, Brenda's cronies took up every available space. Kaci's place was relatively small, or maybe it just seemed that way. Regardless, Sarah felt outnumbered and mildly claustrophobic. Not entirely unlike how she'd felt ten years ago, when they'd busted into Cyberdyne. All those SWAT guys, all those guns, all that tear gas. Sarah could freely admit that it'd felt good to have that othermachine at her back. The one that'd been John's uncle Bob before John's uncle Derek had even exited in her mind. History with them aside, Sarah could admit, within her own head, that terminators were good things to have on your side. That other machine had done everything possible to look out for John. Right now, Cameron seemed to be doing everything possible to look out for Kaci. Short of murder, anyway, and the slightest nod from Sarah would change that, too.
As she progressed through a game of Baby Bingo, it suddenly occurred to Sarah that she was comparing a neighbor's baby shower to the war against a lethal AI. At nineteen, this might've bothered her. Even at twenty-four, she might've taken a step back and spared a moment or two to contemplate her life situation. At thirty-four though… At thirty-four, she was cohabitating with a metal Barbie doll who, half an hour earlier, had proclaimed her understanding and acceptance, should Sarah ever choose to turn gay. At thirty-four, Sarah had learned that dwelling on her life's circumstances, even for a moment, was hazardous to her already shaky mental health.
"Okay, how about number six?"
At Kaci's request, Cameron solicitously snatched up the present labeled with a six, transferring it from the coffee table into the hands of its recipient. Since Cameron had already expressed her dislike for bingo, Sarah had volunteered her for gift-passing duty. Actually, this had less to do with keeping Cameron entertained than it did with keeping her busy and, hopefully, silent. Predictably, the cyborg was taking her duties quite seriously. Kaci would pick a number, Cameron would hand her the gift in question, and everyone else would scan their bingo cards, looking for a match. This arrangement would've been fine, if not for the power struggle currently taking place.
Margaret, the same Margaret who thought Cameron was retarded, seemed to think that the girl wasn't competent enough to move items from couch to table. Every so often, Margaret would try beating Cameron to the punch. She failed, of course, but the fact that her job was being threatened seemed to irritate the cyborg. Sarah did her best to keep Cameron from ripping the woman's hand off. At least for the first five minutes. After that, her interest faltered. Sarah was reasonably sure that Cameron wouldn't crush Margaret's wrist, and if she happened to be wrong about that…well, Margaret was the one playing with fire here.
As Kaci feigned interest in the Baby Loves Jazz album that Sarah herself had rejected as a gift option, the brunette suddenly realized something. She was actually angry at Margaret for insulting the cyborg. First thing this morning, Sarah had threatened to dismantle the metal piece by piece and donate her parts to Apple's junkyard. It was an empty threat, for all the obvious reasons, but still. Yet somehow, it bothered her that a near-stranger would make a totally unfounded accusation against the machine. Sarah shook her head, absently marking another space on her bingo card. Again, best not to dwell on things she couldn't understand.
Rosie the jazz aficionado was still gushing over the genius of her chosen offering. As if a CD for toddlers would guarantee the next Louie Armstrong. Meanwhile, Kaci had moved on to a new item. Her enthusiasm was underwhelming, but as usual, Sarah and Cameron were either the only ones to notice, or the only ones to care.
"I got it off the shopping channel," explained Janet. "All these tapes and computer disks, they're guaranteed to teach your child to read and write within two months."
Sarah sipped her beverage, using the glass to hide her expression.
"That's really great," Kaci replied, in a tone that didn't match her words. "Really. I just…two months? Isn't that a little fast for a kid to learn to read?"
"Hardly," said Brenda, even though the comment wasn't directed at her. "Trevor was always an incredibly fast learner. Let's just hope the baby gets his brains from our side of the family, hmm?"
Sarah set her drink on a nearby coaster. It would be easier not to throw the glass at Brenda's forehead if she wasn't holding it. Sarah couldn't decide what bothered her more, the endless barbs, or the syrupy-sweet tone they were delivered in. More than once, she'd seen Kaci open her mouth in response, only to clamp it shut again. Kaci wasn't afraid of Trevor's mother, Sarah knew that. She was afraid of alienating Trevor's mother, and worsening an already tenuous family situation. This knowledge of Kaci's motivations was the only thing keeping Sarah from saying some very unpleasant things to her hostess. Unfortunately (or otherwise, depending on perspective), the delicacies of human communication continued to elude Cameron.
"Your gift is useless. Even the most intelligent infants are unable to read at such a young age."
"Cameron took a class in child development."
"Yes, I love children. Janet's gift is still useless, at least for the immediate future."
Janet seemed trapped between being crushed and being livid. "But the shopping channel said-"
"The shopping channel lied. You have been scammed."
"That's absurd. I don't fall for things like that."
"It would seem that you do. You have been swindled. Tricked. Duped. Hoodwinked."
"So, how about we move on to the next present," Sarah suggested.
Kaci readily agreed, after pointing out that Sarah needed to fill another space on her bingo card. She called out another number, and Cameron grabbed the appropriately labeled present before Margaret had time to sit forward in her chair.
"This is from us," Cameron stated, handing over the package. There was a hint of eagerness in her voice that Sarah rarely heard. If the topic wasn't killing birds…and now killing Brenda…the cyborg usually stuck to a monotone. Or maybe Sarah just hadn't taken the time to notice subtle differences in speech. Either way, she found herself fighting off a strange bout of nerves.
"It's not much," she warned, thinking about the argument that hadn't ceased until they were thirty seconds shy of Kaci's home. After the earlier talk about the un-coolness of re-gifting, Sarah had had a tough time justifying her choice of present to Cameron.
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm sure I'll love it. If I can bring myself to open it. It's so perfectly wrapped, I almost don't want to ruin it."
"I wrapped it," said Cameron. "But you are allowed to ruin it, I won't be mad."
Brenda smiled disgustingly, letting her eyes travel around the room. "Did you hear that, ladies? Cameron won't be mad. Isn't that nice of her."
Sarah sat forward on the couch, ostensibly to watch Kaci's reaction to her gift. She used the move as an excuse to lock eyes with Cameron, silently mouthing the word 'no.'
Cameron put her hand back across her lap. Before Sarah's warning, it'd started drifting towards her waist again. While Kaci carefully tore away wrapping paper, Cameron held Sarah's gaze, surreptitiously mouthing the word 'please.'
Sarah half-listened as Brenda told Kaci not to be disappointed if this gift didn't measure up to the others. After all, waitresses were on a very tight budget. 'Maybe later,' she mouthed. Apparently satisfied for the moment, Cameron turned her attention to Kaci, and Sarah did the same.
"I know you won't get much use out of it right away," Sarah began, glancing at Janet as she spoke, "but I hope it'll serve you well later on."
"Oh, this is great," said Kaci, grinning at her copy of The Wizard of Oz. "I think I remember reading this as a kid. Book was way better than the movie."
"They usually are," remarked Cameron.
"I don't know, I just thought…I've had some luck with it in the past." Sarah didn't mention reading the book to Marty Bedell, the boy they'd kidnapped not too long ago. Luckily, Cameron didn't mention this either. "John made me read it every night for months."
Kaci smiled, more pleased with the book than any of the previous gifts. "You didn't get sick of reading the same thing over and over?"
Sarah shrugged. "There are worse books he could've liked. Besides, it gets to a point where he knows the words as well as you do. That's when you get thankful, because he can entertain himself and you can doze a little without being noticed."
Kaci laughed and Sarah laughed with her. She hadn't realized until just now how much she'd wanted the younger woman to like her gift. It was a nice moment. Simple, rare, and oddly fulfilling. Until Cameron opened her mouth.
"Yes, it was John's favorite. Sarah read it to him in Spanish."
Brenda's eyes zoomed over to the brunette. She still wore that sugar coma-inducing smile. "You speak Spanish? Is it a Mexican restaurant then?"
"Sorry?"
"The restaurant where you worked, or used to work. I assume you learned it there."
"Do you," Sarah replied. She was roughly three milliseconds away from snapping her fingers and watching Cameron go to work.
"Well, where else would someone like you become fluent in Spanish?"
Kaci's self-control seemed to be weakening as well. "What does that mean, Brenda?"
"Hey," Sarah murmured, briefly touching the blonde's arm. "Relax, its fine."
"It's not fine. She's been going after you and Cameron all afternoon just because-"
Because they weren't part of the Bash Kaci Brigade. Sarah knew this already. "Kaci. It's fine."
"Yes, it's fine," Cameron agreed. "Fighting is unnecessary."
"We're not fighting," Sarah argued.
"You're about to," Cameron retorted. "You are about to throw down, and you shouldn't. Give peace a chance." The cyborg illustrated this point by holding up her hand and forming the peace sign.
Sarah took a breath. Verbal sparring with that asshole Silberman, trying to convince him she wasn't nuts…Silberman and his inkblots and his never-ending supply of needles almost seemed preferable to this. "She's going through a hippy phase."
"I see," said Brenda. "Along with the rebellious phase."
"I am going through many phases," Cameron declared. "I am extremely complex."
Sarah shrugged and smiled and tried not to grind her teeth. "Like I said, hippy phase. She's very into John Lennon right now, the whole peace and love thing."
"Yes, John Lennon, peace and love. John Lennon's killer is a bad man; he should be executed for his bad behavior."
Brenda addressed Sarah. "Those pills you gave her, have they kicked in yet?"
"Apparently not."
"Sarah was in the Peace Corps." Cameron had reverted back to Sarah's first name, despite a previous admonition by the brunette. Calling her 'Mommy' seemed to garner negative results. "In Central America. She learned Spanish in Central America, not in a Mexican restaurant."
Kaci regarded Sarah with interest. "That's right, you told me about Central America. How did I not ask what you were doing there?"
"Don't worry, Kaci. I'm sure Sarah's used to your…absent-mindedness by now."
Sarah looked at Brenda. The fake smile she'd perfected on Silberman years ago was starting to slip. "Excuse me?"
"No need to pretend. I'm sure we can agree that Kaci can be a little…scatter-brained at times."
"You know, I'm not so sure about that. In fact, I'm not so sure I can agree with anything that's come out of your mouth."
"Sarah…" Kaci sounded more than a little nervous.
"I agree with Sarah," Cameron declared. "I also disagree with every word I've ever heard you say." Shifting focus, Cameron cut her eyes over to Janet. "Our gift is superior to yours."
"I'm sorry?"
"I'm sorry too. You must feel bad that our present is tight, while yours is lacking."
Fuck. It wasn't bad enough that Sarah was losing control of herself, she was also losing control of Cameron. "She's got a competitive streak."
"I also have social disorders. And Tourettes."
"They know, Cameron."
"The Tourettes is only mild."
"They know, Cameron."
"So," said Brenda. "You learned Spanish in the Peace Corps?"
Sarah shrugged, picking up her ice tea and wishing fervently for something stronger.
"You don't seem like the type."
Shrugging again, Sarah sipped before putting down her drink. Despite their glaring dislike of each other, Brenda and Kaci seemed to have decided that all-out war in the midst of a baby shower was not a good plan. Too bad. Her imaginary Peace Corps stint notwithstanding, Sarah might've preferred war to the current situation. War would be more simple, more straightforward. Cameron would be quite useful in a war scenario. "It was years ago. My own hippy phase."
"Ah, so she gets it from you then."
"Yes," said Cameron, in answer to Brenda's question. "I get lots of things from Sarah."
"Including your charming disposition?" asked Janet.
"No," Sarah refuted. "She gets that from her father's side."
"Sarah taught me Spanish."
"Really?" Janet asked. She was feigning disinterest in an attempt to hide anger.
"Si." Cameron uttered a quick series of words in perfect Spanish. Instead of Janet, the phrase was directed at Brenda.
Sarah might've choked on her beverage, had it been anywhere near her windpipe. Her Spanish wasn't what it used to be, but she got the gist. When you lived among criminals, the word 'fuck' was something of a fixture. 'You' and 'yourself' were simple enough to remember, as was 'go.' Sarah couldn't help a grudging respect for the metal. Cameron had managed to articulate what Sarah had wanted to articulate, without actually articulating it. At least not in a way that Brenda and her shrew sisters could understand.
Trevor's mother seemed genuinely impressed with Cameron for the first time, never mind the retardation. "What did she say?"
Sarah answered immediately, cutting off whatever Cameron might've responded with. "She said, 'You have a lovely country.'"
"Oh, how nice. If I'm ever south of the border, I'll get real use out of that one."
"Definitely."
Shortly after Brenda's impromptu Spanish tutorial, Sarah had a small epiphany. She realized why, after all this time, they'd remained unable to stop Skynet. Luck was simply never on their side. For all the planning and the time-hopping and the blowing up of buildings, they never had that element of good fortune that might just tip the scales. The fact that fate continually found ways to kick her in the head was not the epiphany, Sarah had figured that part out years ago. The epiphany was related to the reason that Sarah never, ever, had luck on her side when it came to Skynet. All her luck had apparently been stockpiled and saved specifically for this day. She hadn't been lucky enough to find a way of taking down the killer computer system, but she was damn near blessed when it came to baby shower games.
It started right after Kaci opened her copy of The Wizard of Oz, when Sarah took the prize at Baby Bingo. She became the proud owner of a Starbucks gift card, a card she considered giving to John. She preferred coffee that was actually coffee, not some bizarre concoction of whipped cream and chocolate sauces, with a name that couldn't be spelled or pronounced. Sarah thought about giving the card to her son, rejecting the idea after roughly five seconds. John had ignored her SOS earlier, refusing to get himself over here. He'd also been behaving in ways that didn't warrant a free frappa-machio-whatever the hell they sold at those not-coffee places. Besides, he'd probably end up using the card on Riley, and Sarah didn't think that handing out free beverages was the best way to get the girl out of their lives.
After bingo, Sarah unintentionally won a game involving baby items in paper bags that required participants to guess what item was in what bag. She came away from that with a small set of scented candles. Because having a bedroom that smelled of eucalyptus leaves was quite high up on her priority list.
Following the candles, Sarah deliberately guessed wrong in a baby-fied version of The Price is Right. Her attempt at failure netted her a fake baby bottle filled with assorted candies. Brenda and her harpy companions were glaring quite profusely by then. Kaci seemed to be enjoying herself for the first time all afternoon.
Meanwhile, Cameron regarded Sarah quizzically. After the bingo victory, Kaci had taken a bathroom break, and Sarah had taken the opportunity to give some instructions. Brenda and the gang were too busy speculating on Kaci's natural hair color to notice what the other two were whispering about.
"You can't win every game."
"Yes I can."
"No, you can't It won't look right if you're some baby shower champion."
"It could look right. I am a teenage girl. I could be acquainted with other teenage girls. Those girls could be skanky bitches who don't know how to keep their legs closed. I could be required to attend many, many baby showers, making me highly skilled at baby shower games."
"How about you just lose. And stop watching MTV."
Sarah's words were framed as a question, but they really amounted to a demand. Sarah often phrased demands as questions, especially when she was addressing Cameron. The cyborg was somewhat confused by what was happening here. Why did Sarah seem more and more agitated each time she was presented with a prize? Was Sarah a sore winner? It seemed like a possibility. Sarah sometimes seemed like a sore everything-else, so Cameron wouldn't have been surprised if the brunette had problems with winning.
The situation changed during a game in which everyone cut a string to wrap around Kaci's stomach. Whoever came closest to having the correct length would be declared winner. Brenda and her friends were cutting exorbitant amounts of string, seeming to take pleasure in the look of discomfort on Kaci's face. It reminded Cameron of the nature channel, of how certain animals moved in packs and tortured their prey for the sport of it.
Before the string and scissors could reach them, Sarah pulled Cameron aside, citing a need to dole out more medications for the girl's various psychiatric disorders. Retreating to the bathroom for the second time that day, Sarah closed the door and turned to the cyborg.
"I assume that your sensors or whatever can tell you exactly how much string to cut?"
"Yes. I have already calculated the exact girth of Kaci's midsection. And yours. You should reduce your calorie input."
"You should reduce your word output. If you think that I won't yank your chip in front of those morons out there, you're wrong." True, the move would be rash and compromising. However, the sight of Cameron with her skull cut open and her chip removed might be scary enough to bring on a kind of group heart attack. The Margaret woman had casually mentioned receiving a new pacemaker.
"Understood. I will shut up now."
"Good. When you guess, guess right."
"I won't be guessing."
"Just cut the right amount."
"Are you giving me permission to win?"
"Yes."
"What about the next game?"
Sarah cringed, not wanting to think about how many games were left. "If you can win it, win it."
"What about the game after that?"
"Consider this a standing order: stop taking dives. We're going to bring Brenda and her friends down a few pegs."
"If you wish to bring them down somewhere, I can throw each of them off the roof."
Briefly, Sarah allowed herself to fantasize. Cameron's suggestion did have its merits. "Let's just stick with my idea."
"Understood. We are going to kick ass and take names."
Sarah rolled her eyes. "You're not allowed to watch television anymore."
"I don't sleep."
"Then go to a library or something. I don't sleep with the TV blaring all night or you pacing around outside my room."
"Would you prefer me to pace around outside John's room?"
Sarah turned on her heel and left. Despite her weaknesses in the area of non-verbal communication, Cameron knew enough to decipher the answer she'd been given.
Cameron cut the correct amount of string, earning her own baby bottle full of candy. And then she guessed the exact amount of safety pins in a giant jar of safety pins. Then there was a game that required players to write down as many baby related items as possible within five minutes. The cyborg's databases made this an easy task. Despite her order to stop taking dives, Sarah motioned for Cameron to quit writing after the third minute. Cameron still beat her closest competitor by twenty items. Brenda grudgingly handed over a small package of scented body oils.
Next came a game that involved filling in the blank parts of nursery rhymes. Cameron had fully expected to win that one as well, but Sarah took the prize. She could feel Cameron's puzzled gaze upon her, but chose not to acknowledge it. She couldn't very well explain that she'd had a lot of free time in Pescadero, that she'd read anything and everything she could smuggle past the orderlies.
The next game should've been simple enough. Everyone was given a piece of paper and asked to write down two things. The first was a name suggestion for the baby. According to Brenda, "Trevor Jr. has such a nice ring to it, but backups are always good." Along with the name, each of them were to write a piece of parenting advice for Kaci. Again, Brenda's words, "Because God knows that Kaci here can use all the advice she can get."
Sarah came very close to pointing Cameron in Brenda's direction. Unfortunately, she was here to keep peace between the two, and to keep Kaci from assaulting her baby's grandmother. Granted, Sarah hadn't said anything about not hurting Brenda herself…
Shaking her head, Sarah tried focusing on the task at hand. A name. A name for a boy. Wouldn't be that hard if Sarah had ever once needed to consider names for her son. Sarah moved on to part two. Parenting advice. She was a parent, so again, this shouldn't be so hard. Except that her son resented the hell out of her at present, blaming her for every bad thing that'd ever happened in his life. Or would happen for that matter. Cameron was sitting next to her now since Kaci had retreated, muttering something about her bladder no longer being her own.
"Let me see that," Sarah ordered, watching Cameron's pencil whiz furiously across the paper. Halting her writing, the cyborg silently handed over her sheet. The others were too busy criticizing Kaci's taste in clothes to notice what was happening.
"Sun Tzu?" Sarah read incredulously. "What kind of name is Sun Tzu?"
"A Chinese one. Sun Tzu wrote The Art of War. It's one of the oldest and most influential books on military strategy. John will find it extremely useful in the future."
"I know who he is," Sarah snapped. "That's not the point. Pick a different name."
Cameron thought about it. "Adolf Hitler was an extremely charismatic leader. He was also very efficient when it came to mass slaughter."
"Pick something else."
"John is a good name."
Sarah glared. Her pencil remained in her hand, and she fought an urge to jam it into Cameron's eye socket.
"What about Morris? Morris wanted me to attend the prom with him."
"Fine. What about the other part?"
"I'm going to write down the date of Judgment Day, at least as far as we know. My advice will be that Kaci stock up on canned goods and prepare herself and her child for nuclear winter."
"You're not writing that. Say something else."
Cameron tilted her head minutely. "What should I say?"
"I…I don't know. Something that doesn't involve nuclear winters."
"You're a parent. Shouldn't you be able to give out parental advice?"
There that was again. Never mind that she'd never once been a normal parent, that she'd been separated from John for three years, that John couldn't stand being under the same roof with her. "Copy someone else's paper," she muttered gloomily.
Sarah wrote down the name Miles. She also scrawled a few sentences about keeping your children close. Then she checked Cameron's work, assuring herself that the metal hadn't written anything about genocidal German dictators.
Mercifully, the games ended after that. Brenda's next item of fun involved scaring Kaci to death through the sharing of traumatic birth stories. Sarah was forced to listen to Brenda go on and on about her three hour labor that was just so agonizing. Remembering what she'd gone through with John, Sarah found it difficult not to laugh contemptuously.
Eventually, it became her turn to share a horror story. She had no intention of bringing up John's birth, not in front of these people. She was still surprised at herself for being so honest with Kaci, and she sure as hell wouldn't open up to Brenda. Which left…
"Guys, I don't think Cameron wants to hear about this," said Kaci. "It might freak her out."
"I second that," Sarah concurred.
"I don't mind. I won't get freaked out."
Sarah spared a moment to glare at the cyborg. Yes, she'd told Cameron to stop agreeing with everything she said, but the metal could've picked a better time to follow directions. "Not much to tell, I was totally unconscious."
"Really?" Margaret asked.
Sarah nodded. "Doc gave me some wonder drug that knocked me out the whole time. No pain, no nothing."
"Are you saying you don't remember anything about it?"
"After the needle? Total blank. Like it never even happened."
Following Janet's retelling of her C-section from hell (again, Sarah bit back a derisive chuckle), Brenda declared that it was time to eat. The elderly woman let her eyes drift to every guest after they'd loaded their plates. Like a chorus group repeating lyrics, Brenda's friends responded to her questions about the food in all the same ways. So delicious. So flavorful. Kaci's child would have to visit his grandmother often if he expected a decent meal. Sarah could feel Kaci tensing up next to her.
"These people have never even tasted my cooking," Kaci muttered. "How the hell do they know whether or not it's flavorful enough?"
"Well, I have tasted your cooking," Sarah replied quietly. "Be thankful that Brenda did the work. You're culinary skills are too good for them," she stated, nodding towards the other guests.
Cameron sat on Sarah's other side, picking at her food and doing nothing else. Brenda's eyes cut into her like a laser. "What do you think, dear?"
Cameron met Brenda's gaze square on. "I think many things, most of which can't be repeated here."
"Cameron," Sarah warned..
Cameron looked at Sarah. "Would you like me to repeat my thoughts about Brenda?" There was that hint of eagerness again, the eagerness that had no right to be there.
"The food, dear. What do you think about the food?" Smiling widely, Brenda awaited additional praise.
Cameron looked down at her plate, took a bite, chewed slowly, then looked at Brenda. "Adequate."
The frighteningly effusive smile dimmed. "Would you mind repeating that?"
"No, I wouldn't mind. The food is adequate. Passable. Not completely disgusting."
"I see," Brenda replied, turning her gaze on Sarah. "Those pills you gave her, shouldn't they have kicked in by now?"
Sarah made a show of checking her watch before answering. "Oh they have," she stated. "Haven't they, Cameron?"
"They have definitely kicked in."
"I see," Brenda repeated. "And these pills, they don't have any side effects?"
Cameron thought about this. "My last combination of drugs caused a slight rash, but that went away."
"How nice for you."
"Yes. Nice. My current combination of drugs causes me to become hyperactive." More ad-libbing on Cameron's part, delivered with her usual abundance of emotion.
"How unfortunate. But these pills you're on now, they don't…affect your taste buds in any way?"
"No. My taste buds are in fine working condition."
"Don't take it personally," Sarah advised, fighting off a smirk. "We've been spoiled lately when it comes to food."
"Have you. Been bringing home leftovers from the Mexican restaurant?"
"Not exactly," Sarah refuted, glancing over to the blonde sitting next to her. "Kaci's been letting me pilfer her leftovers. John and Cameron go nuts if I don't steal something from here at least once a week."
"Seriously?" Kaci asked, clearly flattered.
"Seriously," Cameron confirmed, directing her comments to Brenda. "John and I go nuts for Kaci's food. Kaci's food is freaking awesome."
"Well," Brenda said tightly. "I'm glad to hear it."
Cameron tilted her head. Brenda didn't sound glad at all. "Your cooking is not terrible. The mystery meat at school was only slightly superior to this," Cameron stated, gesturing towards her plate.
"Only slightly superior. I'm glad to hear that."
Sarah had been watching Kaci all afternoon. Several times, she'd offered quiet support while the blonde nearly shook with anger. Kaci was shaking again, trying and failing at suppressing her laughter. Sarah had to admit that the look on Brenda's face was massively entertaining.
"Yes," Cameron continued. "The Monday mystery meat special was only slightly superior to your cooking. John's former best friend Morris found fingernails in his special once."
Sarah and Kaci hadn't been eating anyway. Pregnant or not, Kaci said earlier that she wouldn't give Brenda the satisfaction of consuming her food. Sarah had readily agreed to a show of solidarity. Everyone else who was eating stopped doing so after Cameron's nail comment. Brenda's delicious and flavorful food was summarily abandoned.
"So Sarah, I gather that you're not much in the kitchen."
"Brenda," Kaci hissed.
"Kaci," Sarah said, touching her friend's arm. Without food as a distraction, Brenda had resorted to her previous strategy of bad-mouthing Kaci and everyone around her. Raising her voice to a more conversational tone, "Can't argue with you there. Kitchens are definitely not my domain." Idly, Sarah recalled the last time she'd been in a kitchen for an extended period of time. It involved Pescadero and a plot to get hold of a knife, and an unpleasant encounter with one of the soup servers.
"Oh well. Some people are born to serve food instead of make it."
Sarah groaned inwardly. She'd hoped that admitting her culinary difficulties would cause Brenda to lose interest in that line of insults. "What can I say."
Cameron promptly answered the obviously rhetorical question. "Sarah's inability to cook is highly beneficial to the community. The large amounts of takeout we order are all purchased from local businesses. Sarah's culinary failings help keep many small restaurants from going under."
Sarah blinked in surprise, unsure how to respond. Brenda didn't share that predicament.
"You must be very proud of yourself."
Sarah nodded, her speechlessness only momentary. "It's nice to know that my culinary failings are helping out the locals."
"Sarah is not a complete failure," Cameron stated. "She has her specialties."
"Do you. What kinds of specialties?"
What was she supposed to say here, aside from the truth? "I make pancakes."
"She does. Sarah's pancakes are freaking awesome."
"And you said you couldn't cook. What other specialties do you have?"
Sarah looked at Cameron. Cameron looked at Sarah. Getting no help from the cyborg, Sarah shrugged dismissively. "You know, this and that."
Cameron joined in again, seemingly hit with inspiration. "Sarah learned how to make blueberry pancakes last week. They were also freaking awesome."
"I aim to please," Sarah deadpanned.
At this point, Cameron pushed away the plate she'd barely touched. "Thank you for the food," she told Brenda. "It was not completely disgusting. I'm full now." Turning her attention to Sarah. "Can you make blueberry pancakes when we get home?"
"Sure," Sarah replied. She was somewhat worried about Kaci. Could someone asphyxiate from holding in their laughter?
"Thank you." To Kaci, "Can we steal leftovers from you tomorrow?"
Kaci was unable to speak. The murderous glares of Brenda and the rest were too much. The giggles finally overtook her, as did the tears of mirth that came from seeing Brenda so thoroughly furious.
"Are you all right?" Cameron asked, concerned with the moisture leaking from Kaci's eyes. "Do you require medical attention?"
Kaci shook her head no, raising her hand in a thumbs-up gesture as she continued to laugh. Sarah helpfully passed over her unused napkin. "Hormones," she explained, trying hard to keep a straight face.
"Oh," replied Cameron, nodding sagely. "If you do not require immediate medical attention, and if you do not require medical attention tomorrow, can we please steal leftovers?"
Kaci nodded without looking up, burying her head in her hands. Her shoulders vibrated under Sarah's supportive arm.
"So Brenda," Sarah began, still with an arm around Kaci. "You think I could get some recipes from you? Like I said, useless in the kitchen, and I'm trying to get my game past the level of fingernail mystery meat."
Tbc…