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Had my surgery, really really sore. Maybe dying a little. My ex IMed me last night and told me he has been thinking about me often. I asked why, and he said just about the good times. I told him we didn't have that many good times. He said in his mind we did. No matter how bitter I tried acting toward his guy he just kept on coming. Then he asked ( Read more... )

I didn't go to school today.. I lazed about and moped. Fun fun.

Things just got worse. After two weeks of being away my therapist comes back and says EVERYONE has been calling her at home saying how worried they were about me. She wants to sent me to a mental portion of hospital. She also said if I didn't go of my own free will she will get the cops to take me to the state mental hospital and I won't be able ( Read more... )

So I went in for my pre-op exam today, to make sure I am healthy for my surgury. I am obviously not that healthy if I keep getting breast tumors. But thats just want I think. I got asked a million questions, blood taken (my left hand is killing me), got felt up by a doctor with cold hands and got the A-OKEY ( Read more... )

I am just bothered by everything it seems. My therapist went away because she had an emergancy, and she still isn't back yet. I am having a horribly time right now. Everything is crushing down around me. I feel like I say that alot, maybe it is happening a lot though. My mom told me that she is just trying to be supportive and blah blah blah. I don ( Read more... )

Today... what can I say about today. Nothing.....

I wrote a poem... actually she told us to write a lamenting rune.. No one in the class understood it except me who actually listens. I wrote about how I am afraid cancer may take over my body and kill me someday. She wrote at the top of my paper. Wow Rachel, very powerful. I know it was. Most teachers would tell us to write about something ( Read more... )

I need to be happy. My self esteem is gone. Someone help me.

Ok, so I found out I have to have more breast surgery. Yet another tumor is being removed. I am happy that it will be gone. Knowing it is there makes me feel like there is some kind of evil inside of me, waiting for the perfect moment to start spreading around to the rest of my body. My aunt had breast tumors too. When she was 29 she got her third ( Read more... )