Volume 1: Issue 4

[neptune_online]

Free to be You and Me
by Veronica Mars with Logan Echolls

Veronica Mars: Once upon a time, there was a little paper company, with a little office, in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Nothing big ever happened there, which was the charm of it all.

Logan Echolls: What?!? If you're following along at home, remember: I listen to Veronica Mars so you don't have to.

SPOILER WARNING: This entry discusses season 2 of The Office (US), focusing on episodes 2:10, Christmas Party, and 2.11, Booze Cruise, but may contain hints of spoilers through 2:17; Dwight's Speech. (Pictures courtesy of office_caps.)

So much has happened in the first half of this season. People have:
-won awards and shared drunken kisses
-attended sexual harassment seminars
-goofed off when the boss was out of the office
-panicked and played during office fires
-worn goofy costumes on Halloween
-fought
-fallen into bed with co-workers
-endured job evaluations
-been subjected to e-mail surveillance, crashed parties, and made out in dog houses
-attended a Christmas party
-gone on booze cruises and gotten re-engaged

There has been intrigue, insult, and injury aplenty.

VM: You're jumping ahead with 'injury'. There is plenty of insult, but I don't think intrigue means what you think it means. The lives of the Dunder-Mifflin staff are free from bus crashes, bribery, baby-napping, and brutal murders. Call me crazy, or call me a resident of Neptune, but more and more, that sounds like my personal American dream. What's yours?

LE: That's easy. A man went looking for America and couldn't find it anywhere.

VM: Easy...Rider?

LE: Put a comma in there, and that's what she said.

VM: Whoa! You issued a moratorium on that line, months ago.

LE: Only for you, sugarpuss. Much like Michael Scott, when you say it, it comes off oddly pathetic.

VM: And not unlike Dwight Schrute, you're much more pleasant when you've got a concussion.

LE: Now who's jumping ahead? Let me set the pace, so we don't skip over all the good stuff.

First up, we have 2.10; Christmas Party. The premise is that the Dunder-Mifflin staff had already bought presents meant for specific Secret Santa recipients. At the party, the gift exchange begins. The gifts are supposed to be under $20.00. Michael, however, has purchased an iPod, probably because he drew the name of his possibly-platonic man-crush, Ryan.

VM: Yes, and left the $400.00 price tag on it, too.

LE: Michael gets an oven mitt Phyllis knit just for him. He is offended, telling the documentary crew, "So Phyllis is basically saying, 'Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year. But I only care about you...a homemade oven mitt's worth'. I gave Ryan an iPod."



VM: He changes the game to Yankee Swap, right in the middle of it.

LE: Jim had put together a pretty personalized gift for Pam-a teapot packed with symbols of their inside jokes. Unaware of the personal nature of the contents, Pam takes the iPod, instead.

VM: Right, and the teapot, meanwhile, ends up with Dwight, who intends to use it to flush out his sinuses.

Corporate forbids alcohol at work functions, but when the party falters, Michael goes out and buy 15 bottles of vodka for his staff of 20.

Roy reveals that he'd planned to get Pam an (imitation) iPod for Christmas.

LE: Yes, and the cheapskate is relieved he doesn't have to buy it now, and will probably just get Pam a sweater, and you can tell she feels let down. Oh Pam, come to your senses!

VM: You're so invested in a romance that's just not going to happen.

LE: Do you ever go online for anything other than violating people's privacy? So many people are watching this show because of this couple!

VM: I'm already spending too much of my non-existent free time on TV, thanks to this column. Now, Pam picks up Jim's disappointment that she didn't wind up with the teapot, so she swaps for it, and they spend a sweet moment on the inside jokes.



LE: Finally, Todd Packer shows up at the end of the party, and is as inappropriate as ever. And we can't forget the special card Jim had written out for Pam. By the end of the episode, he's lost his nerve, so he distracts her, in order to retrieve it.

VM: I am dying to know what it said.

LE: Considering how cozy Pam got with him in E-Mail Surveillance, the smart money says Jim bared his soul as bare as Meredith's bosom. After all, he told the documentary crew, "Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel."

VM: Without any indication or encouragement from Pam?

LE: Did you miss how she snuck off - to his bedroom - in the previous episode? She wants him. Period.

VM: We're never going to agree on this, so let's move on. Favorite line?

LE: Michael's:
"Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, hey man, I love you this many dollars worth."

Ho. Ho. Ho.

VM: You can take the boy out of the 09er Zip, but...actually, maybe not. Are you still wearing your very special anklet?

LE: What's the matter? Did Deputy Do-Right hold back on the bling, back in the day? Now, what's your favorite?

VM: It's also from Michael, and it replaced "Merry Christmas," in the Mars household this year:
"Well happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame."

LE: Can I get a witness! (One who's not testifying for the prosecution.)

VM: I'm working on it.

LE: Maybe if you follow the big, blue paw prints, you'll crack the case. That reminds me, get out your handy dandy notebook Ms. Mars, and sit down in your thinking chair, because we have something important to do. I'll give you a clue. It rhymes with "Kettle a pet".

VM: Did you forget to take your Ritalin?

LE: And you call yourself a 'detective'.

VM: I do, but not as often as I call you the common slang for same.

LE: You're not going to wisecrack your way out of this. We have to settle the bet.

VM: Oh. That. We can just settle up, after.

LE: No, no, no - no. Now, because it's much more fun if I rub it in your face, in public.

VM: And that's what Dick Casablancas said?

LE: I was thinking Todd Packer, but that's largely beside the point. Gentle readers, you may recall our discussion on November 20, 2005.
LE: [...] if [Katie's] not gone by February Sweeps, I'll do an entry here, saying how wrong I am, and how right you are. About everything. Ever.

VM: You're on.

VM: Fine. All settled.

LE: No. I won.

VM: Yes, and so I won't make you write an entry about how wrong you are and how right I am.

LE: We will talk about this later.

For now, it's the perfect segue into our next episode, 2:11; Booze Cruise, which happens to be Katie's final episode, and aired well before February sweeps.

VM: It's time for the staff's First Quarter Camaraderie Event. Michael sends out a purposefully misleading invite, telling the staff to bring a bathing suit, a toothbrush, rubber-soled shoes and a ski mask, but it's really just a booze cruise, on Lake Wallenpaupack, in the middle of winter. Michael picked it because it was cheaper.

LE: Even cheaper than your outfit. Brenda from corporate is there to observe. Michael, who feels threatened by anyone he can't control, is uneasy with her presence, and unsettled by the ship's captain, Jack. In true Michael style, he spends the episode trying to usurp his authority.

VM: Sounds like someone I know.

LE: I'll cop to that (like you're not a "top"). Michael, unsurprisingly, ends the episode in the brig.

VM: It's like deja-vu all over, again.

LE: The seminar/party-particularly Michael's behavior-is cringe-worthy throughout, much like Veronica's attempts at humor. One of the more joyous scenes is where Roy and Katie realize they used to play football/cheerlead for arch rivals. Jim and Pam, with much glee, silently mock them as they relive their high school glory days.

VM: When Pam is put off by Roy doing snorkel shots of tequila with the guys, she and Jim escape to the deck. She confesses to Jim that sometimes, she doesn't get Roy. Jim starts to answer, but his voice trails off. He can't bring himself to tell her what he'd like to. Pam tries to restart the conversation, asking Jim what it's like to date a cheerleader, and they both chuckle, but she soon returns inside.

LE: You skipped the best part! After the chuckle, they say nothing. Nothing. For a whole 27 seconds!

VM: Did you time it?

LE: Not me. That's too much like work. It's common knowledge, though. The 27 seconds are full of meaningful looks between them, but the tension gets too much for Pam, and she takes off, for whatever reason chicks take off.

VM: She was cold.

LE: That's how I explain my attraction to her.

VM: This isn't a Mediterranean cruise, Logan. They're in on a lake, in Pennsylvania. In January. All right, I do think she's catching on to Jim, but she doesn't feel the same. After all, in this very episode, she confirms for all to see, how happy she is to be marrying Roy.

LE: If by that, you mean Pam is afraid of change-afraid of abandoning her long-held vision of a life of boredom, that'd be "security" to you, then I'm right with you. But she doesn't want to marry Roy. She just expects to.

Regardless, we soon see Jim with Michael, Dwight, and some of the guys. When asked who he'd save in an office fire, Jim parrots typical business pablum about the customer as king. When the captain calls him on his b.s., it motivates Jim to be a man about the Pam situation and he heads straight for her.

VM: Right after Jim confesses to the camera that he'd, "Save the receptionist," and moves toward Pam, we see Roy similarly inspired by one of Cap'n Jack's stories. Roy grabs the microphone, and (re)proposes to Pam for all to hear, setting a wedding date of June 10. Pam is just over the moon.

LE: Translation: over the moon equals put on the spot and afraid of change. Anyhow, Jim soon breaks up with Katie, then confesses his feelings for Pam to Michael, who tells him to never give up.

VM: He should give up though, because Pam is thrilled by Roy's proposal. Back to the Jim/Katie break-up, though. I was taken aback by how harsh Jim was.

LE: Get some perspective. He's been drinking. He's just about to come clean with Pam over the feelings between them, when Roy makes a big, public re-proposal. Now Jim's watching Pam and Roy being all lovey-dovey, while Katie is as obvious as can be that she wants to get married. Give the guy a break.

VM: I wasn't saying it didn't work. It did work, it just surprised me to see Jim so callous.

LE: Among people with human feelings, there's a fine line between callous and distraught.

VM: We need to wrap this up. What were your favorite parts?

LE: Well, Michael fulfilling Jim's prediction that he'd be shouting, "I'm king of the world," before they were an hour into the cruise was a kick, as was Dwight believing he was actually steering the ship.



I laughed out loud at Michael's boss-of-dancing scene, and of course, the scene where the non-Dunder-Mifflin passengers (who don't know him) take Michael seriously when he uses a sinking ship analogy, and one guy even jumps ship. But. Wait. That's enough.

VM: No, what?

LE: I was glad Jim got up the guts to go to Pam. He wasn't fast enough, but he made progress. Jim is always just stuck. He's stuck in Scranton. He's stuck in that job. He's stuck in the role of friend. The tragedy, of course, is that it is his own fault. Deciding to confront Pam, even though he didn't get to do it, is a big change for Jim.

VM: You're such a girl.

LE: One of us should be. But seriously, that was good character development. Last episode he was still pulling back the Christmas card. This time, he went right to her. He would have confessed his feelings for her, if he'd just had time.

VM: Agreed. What about favorite lines?

LE: You agree? Is this is a set up? Are 40 PCHers going to jump me, the next time I hit the "enter" key?

VM: From your lips to Weevil's ears.

LE: Don't inflict your fantasies upon the nice people. Besides, he isn't my type.

VM: I don't know why they haven't put Wallace back on this assignment.

LE: When I tried to get out of it, our newly minted editor, Beaver, refused because we're a 'popular couple' with 'great chemistry'.

VM: What's up with that?

LE: Clearly, it's me. Charisma just oozes out of my pores.

VM: Huh. I thought it was Eau de Bimbeau. I'd recommend antibiotics for the ooze.

For me, the funniest moment was probably from the teaser. Jim had the vending machine technician put all of Dwight's office supplies, and wallet, in the vending machine. Pam came by and bought Dwight's pencil cup, and Jim ended up handing Dwight a bag of nickels, with which he could purchase back his stuff. It was a great moment of characterization for all three of them, and so so funny.



LE: It sure was. Until you retold it.

VM: My favorite line was probably one of Michael's, once again: "In an office when you are ranking people manager outranks captain. On a boat, who knows? It's nebu--lose."

LE: I enjoyed little touches like the limbo scene, and the documentary crew catching Meredith sneaking off with the Captain, later reappearing, in the background, wearing only a life-vest, where her shirt should have been. I loved this episode, but I didn't find it as quotable as some of the others. That may be because the most memorable line was the silence between Jim and Pam.

VM: See, that scene confirms for me that Pam doesn't think of Jim as anything other than a friend.

LE: And it confirms for me that she is resisting with all her might. Someday, something will happen that will allow her whatever freedom she needs to admit her feelings, and it will all change.

VM: Like she's not free, now? Don't hold your breath. Strike that. Go ahead. Now, before you inhale, any final thoughts?

LE: Freedom: That's what it's all about. But talking about it, and being it, that's two different things.

VM: Again, with the Easy Rider? I guess Ritalin can't fix everything.







Madison’s Celebrity Scoop
by Madison Sinclair

In case you live in a cave and missed this year's Academy Awards, I have decided to dedicate this week's column to all the famous people who died this year. (And by year, I mean February to February. Everyone knows a 'year' when you are talking about dead celebs is from one Oscar telecast to the next!)

Anne Bancroft: Mrs. Robinson is one of the best movie characters ever. I’ve watched that movie many times to try and perfect her cold and calculating manner. Anne Bancroft is the ultimate diva. Take, for example, her character in 1998’s Great Expectations. She was a total witch, but it worked for her. And Ethan Hawke totally deserved everything he got. What a freeloader! By studying these and other roles, I have plenty of ideas on how to ignore people like Dick and Veronica for the rest of my life, thank you very much.

Richard Pryor: My new boyfriend introduced me to Richard Pryor, and I’m glad he did. Pryor wasn’t afraid to insult people, and he didn’t take crap from anyone either. I don't usually laugh like that unless I am the one making the jokes, but that guy was funny! Too bad he had to die from a heart attack. Clearly he needed a better dealer...

John Spencer: Yet another actor introduced to me by my fabulous new older boyfriend. His acting skills took him from roles in The Negotiator (my honey's favorite) to The West Wing and LA Law. Speaking of LA Law, one of those other attorneys totally looks a lot like Aaron Echolls, right? Logan, did your dad use an alias because he didn't want anyone to know that he was so hard up for cash that he had to take a role on a cheesy TV show?

Pat Morita: I have seen the The Karate Kid like 100 times, but I never paid much attention to Mr. Miyagi, because well, Johnny was hot. But I do remember his valuable lessons. They come in handy when some grese monkey has to be reminded how to properly wax an automobile.

Hunter S Thompson: Dick made me watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas while trying to get to third base, so I don’t have fond memories of Thompson at all. In fact, anyone who kills himself after making a book that dumb deserves all the pain that he inflicted on himself. Clearly, he needed help, and the drugs weren't cutting it.

Chris Penn: Sadly he couldn’t live up to the bar set by his brother, Sean, and obviously, that hurt. Dying of a heart attack, and being known for bit parts in an Law and Order: Criminal Intent doesn’t really help people forget that you were really just Sean Penn’s younger, fatter brother, does it? Sorry, Chris, but I saw you in that episode of Entourage and you were just plain sweaty and gross.

So those are all the celebrities important or revolting enough to earn a mention in this year's roundup. I will be back next week to once again dish about the living. To find out the latest in local gossip, check out Carrie Bishop's new column. (They wouldn't let her post it here, but they can't stop me from linking to it. I know my rights.)







Theatre Review: Hamlet
by Gia Goodman


This week I’m taking a break from my Supernatural reviews to talk about Neptune High’s most recent theatrical production, Shakespeare’s Hamlet. The five performances were sold out which probably had a lot to do with the controversy surrounding the play’s famous director, Trina Echolls. The movie star sister of our very own advice columnist Logan, was revealed to be adopted - and her biological parents are ex-principal of Neptune High, Alan Moorehead, and Neptune High lunch lady, Mary Mooney.

Written sometime between 1600 and 1602, the play is about a guy called Hamlet who is the prince of Denmark. His father, the king, dies but returns to haunt Hamlet as he was actually murdered by his brother Claudius and he wants Hamlet to get revenge! (Ghosts revenge for parent’s death = this play having a lot in common with Supernatural.) Anyway, Hamlet’s not sure he’s really seeing the ghost or if he’s going crazy - this was back in the days before therapy and Doctor Phil and valium.

The play is a tragedy which means that by the end, practically everyone is dead and throughout the play everybody is depressed and/or crazy. Hamlet spends a lot of his time being all woobie-like; wearing black and talking about how much his life sucks - but then I guess he's allowed, what with the whole dead parent, dead girlfriend and people-trying-to-kill-him situation. Hamlet's like totally conflicted about the whole revenge thing (just like the boys on Supernatural) and this makes him a really tough character to portray. Actors see him as a kind of challenge and so many want to play him. The list who have include Ethan Hawke and Mel Gibson!

As for the N.H.S. version, I thought the play was kinda hard to understand but still really cool. Trent was like totally awesome as Hamlet and you could barely even tell that his accent changed five times through out the play. When he came to the "To be or not to be" part I got chills! But then I got kind of bored because he was pausing all the time and in the end it took like five minutes for him to finish it. Still, that was probably just third night nerves.

The decision to set the play in modern L.A. was so original - it made it totally like that version of Romeo and Juliet by the guy that made Strictly Ballroom and seriously, Strictly Ballroom is just the best movie ever! And people barely even noticed when the backdrop fell down and hit Steve - whom I just went and saw in the hospital and he is doing super!

So all in all, I’m giving this a 4 out of 5! Congratulations to Trina Echolls and the drama club of Neptune High for putting on such a great performance!

Here are the opinions of my fellow staffers.

Veronica: It was very…interesting.

Logan: It was crap. A complete and utter waste of time. Sir Laurence Olivier is crying somewhere. I’m relieved I can finally say that I am in no way biologically related to the director.

Mac: I felt so sorry for Ophelia. I mean, she’s in love and everything and then Hamlet just starts acting crazy! Women back then were so put upon - thank god times have changed. But what was with the weird lighting scheme they used? The soft pinks and mirror ball didn't really set the mood for the angst-fest.

Corny: Dude, Hamlet was like so stressed. What he needed to do was just chill out and light…[Comment cut for being inappropriate for a school newspaper - The Editors]

Madison: I can not believe that Trina Echolls was adopted! I mean, seriously! And her real mom is like the cleaner of the school - though I guess anything would be an improvement on Logan’s freak show parents. The play? Yawn.

Dick: This was a tragedy? Come on, I did not stop laughing! When that backdrop fell on Steve it was like the funniest thing ever.

Weevil: You think I went and saw some long play about a rich whiny white boy?







Ask Logan
by Logan Echolls

Dear Logan,

My mother has no respect for my privacy - she’s always snooping in my room when I’m at school and I’m worried she’ll find my diary. I do not want her to know about all the parties I go to when I tell her I’m studying at the library. What can I do?

-- Need Some Space

Dear Need Some Space,

Poor You. How would you like to trade parents with me? My Mom is dead and my Dad is a murderer. Since I don't think you want to trade my dead Mom for your nosey Mom or my murdering father for her either, I guess you'll have to deal. Maybe if you actually talked to your Mom once in a while, she'd be less inclined to search your room to find out what's going on in your life?

-- Logan

Dear Logan,

There’s this girl in my chem class and I like her a lot. We agree about pretty much everything - except music. I’ve been thinking about asking her out but I just don’t think I can be with a girl who thinks James Blunt’s ‘You’re Beautiful’ is the best song ever.

-- Chem Classmate

Dear Chem Classmate,

Normally I despise musically snobbery. Normally I’d say to you, “Go, crawl back into your hole with your precious Bob Dylan albums.” However, I just had to listen to an impromptu ‘You’re Beautiful’ sing-a-long here in the news room, instigated by Miss Goodman and Miss Sinclair. My ears, they burn.

If you think you can a) put up with it or b) teach your chem class miss the error of her ways, then go for it, ask her out. But if you can’t, then run away.

-- Logan

Dear Logan,

I'm so sick of everyone thinking the worst of me and my family. People in this town hang you without a fair trial. How can I shed my bad girl image?

-- Good Girl Now

Dear Good Girl Now,

If you're set on conforming to a stereotype, try adopting an orphan or donating a lot of money to a charity. Wear argyle and be emotionally unavailable. Do exactly what everyone else does and don't have your own opinions.

But why would you want to lose the bad girl tag? If people already think the worst of you then they can never be disappointed. And seriously, there's no point trying to make them like you. This is Neptune, where people keep their deals with the devil hidden in air vents.

-- Logan

Dear Logan,

I think I may be psychic. Like yesterday, I sensed that one of my favorite songs was about to come on the radio and then it totally did! And the day before that my friends were all "Let's order the Garlic Prawns for lunch" and I was like "No way, I've got a bad feeling about the Garlic Prawns, I'm going to order the Lemon Chicken" and then my friends ate the Garlic Prawns and got food poisoning. And on the weekend, I dreamt I was going to reverse into that other car and then I did! And two years ago... [Letter cut for length - The Editors]

-- Psychic in Neptune

Dear Gia,

Well if you're really psychic you already know what my reply is. However, I'm not convinced that you are ‘at one with universe's secrets’ so I'll write it out.

I think you may be psycho.

-- Logan

Have a question for Logan?
Send an email to editor@neptuneonline.org.







Sound Off: The Fifth Network
Moderator: Cassidy Casablancas

You have entered room "Sound_Off", March, 20 2005 3:03 PM.
Cassidy_Casablancas: Welcome to Sound Off. I'm your new moderator, Cassidy Casablancas, and today’s topic will be the recently announced creation of a new television network and the demise of the WB and that other network no one watches. The merger of these two networks has fans worried about what shows will make it to the fall line-up next year and nostalgic about all the shows that came and went in the short time these two networks existed. So, let's talk about the past first and tackle the future second. Dick was madly in love with Felicity when we were kids. What shows on the WB did you used to watch?
Logan_Echolls: Dude, you watched Felicity?
Dick_Casablancas: Yeah. Once or twice. That chick was smoking hot before she got her hair cut!
Veronica_Mars: I watched Felicity. Though for different reasons than Dick. Lilly saw the pilot and decided that I had to watch it. She said I needed to learn to loosen up and stop thinking Stanford was It for me. I'll admit to liking it. It definitely made me fall in love with New York.
Logan_Echolls: Awww.
Veronica_Mars: Shut up. Lilly told me that you told her you used to watch Dawson's Creek and that you totally idolized Pacey Witter.
Gia_Goodman: OMG! I LOVED Dawson's Creek. See, I knew we had to have something in common, Logan!
Logan_Echolls: Christ. Thanks a lot, Mars. And you know what, I won't apologize for watching the early days of Dawson's Creek. First of all, I was ten years old. Second, Joey Potter was every little boy's wet dream. She was cute as a undone button and smart as the crack of a belt. And she had spunk. Luckily she had some taste and ended up with Witter in the end.
Cindy_Mackenzie: So does that mean you watched the series finale? Because we were in 9th grade by the time that aired.
Logan_Echolls: Who are you again?
Cassidy_Casablancas: Alright, guys. We've all watched the WB. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I know you watch Gilmore Girls, Mac, because we watched it together last week. But what about some of the shows that are no longer on the air?
Cindy_Mackenzie: I was kind of a Buffy fanatic.
Madison_Sinclair: Like we couldn't see that coming.
Cindy_Mackenzie: You never watched it, Madison? It was a really great show. And there was a character everyone could relate to at Sunnydale High School. For instance, I bet you would really see yourself in Cordelia Chase, especially in the eariler episodes.
Madison_Sinclair: Are you calling me a dyke?
Cindy_Mackenzie: Umm, no. There was a lesbian character, if that's what you mean, but it wasn't Cordy. You're thinking of Willow, who by the way didn't come out until season four. In the earlier episodes I am referring to, the scoobies are still in high school and Willow is in love with Oz. Who wasn't? Except for the werewolf thing, he was the perfect boyfriend.
Cassidy_Casablancas: Until I came along, right? I watched Buffy as well. I used to wonder if Neptune was on a Hellmouth...
Logan_Echolls: You and me both, Beav.
Gia_Goodman: I always liked Xander. He was big and strong and protected everyone.
Madison_Sinclair: OK, I have only seen the show a few times and even I know that Xander was the class geek.
Cindy_Mackenzie: I like Xander too, Gia. Often, the best friend character doesn't get much of an arc, but Joss really made sure to flesh all of his characters out.
Dick_Casablancas: I tried to watch that show, cuz, you know, Sarah Michelle Gellar is a hottie. I know who she wishes she did last summer... But it was boring. And that Angel guy was always whining. When I want to watch chicks kicking ass, I watch Charmed.
Logan_Echolls: I have to agree with Dick on this one. Buffy had writing and a great ensemble cast, but Alyssa Milano's wardrobe choices were way more revealing than Gellar's.
Veronica_Mars: So that's what makes a show good? T & A?
Madison_Sinclair: No, Veronica Mars, something you know nothing about: fashion! Those Halliwell girls always look cute, even when they are fighting off demons and warlocks. And great looking men make great television. That's why I watched Roswell. Brendan Fehr and Jason Behr were hot. I'm not one of those weirdoes who believes in aliens!
Gia_Goodman: I loved Roswell too! It’s so strange, but I put Tabasco sauce on almost everything!
Logan_Echolls: Well, if you’re an alien, that would explain a lot, Gia.
Cassidy_Casablancas: Ok, then! So what about current shows that you love and hope make it over to the new network?
Madison_Sinclair: I hope Smallville and One Tree Hill make it. Tom Welling is gorgeous and the guys on One Tree Hill aren’t anything to sneeze at... although I can’t believe Chad Michael Murray dumped Sophia Bush! She’s such a trooper for continuing to work with him!
Gia_Goodman: My personal favorite is Supernatural. Cute boys and interesting mysteries! I will die if the Winchesters don't make the cut!
Veronica_Mars: Meg loved Everwood. Hopefully it will also make it over to the new network in the fall.
Logan_Echolls: Well, if it doesn’t make it, at least Meg will be one of the few fans who won’t be upset about it.
Cassidy_Casablancas: Don't respond to that, Veronica. Instead, tell us what you watch.
Veronica_Mars: Speaking of @%%#*&!% named Logan, I watch Gilmore Girls when I am home on Tuesday nights, and I’m pretty sure that’s going to be a no-brainer to keep. It's smart, it's funny, and it is one of the few shows on the air that depicts a healthy single parent/child relationship.
Gia_Goodman: I always forget how lucky I am to have both of my parents. I was really sorry to hear about your mom leaving town last year, Veronica.
Veronica_Mars: Thanks, Gia. Mac, bail me out here, what shows are you crossing your fingers for besides Gilmore?
Cindy_Mackenzie: I had to download a few episodes of Supernatural so I could fact-check Gia's reviews, and I have to say, she's right to rave about it. It really pulled me in even though I was expecting to hate it and the two lead actors are really believeable and adorable as brothers. Plus, Amy Acker, who was in another great show that started on the WB, is a guest star in the third episode.
Logan_Echolls: Smallville has my vote, although I still don’t get the whole thing with Lana’s tattoo and the witch’s coven. They completely screwed with canon there...
Veronica_Mars: Well, considering that Lois Lane HERSELF is now a major character on the show, and some people think Chloe will later assume the pseudonym of ‘Lois Lane’ and she knows about Clark, canon obviously isn’t sacred to Smallville.
Logan_Echolls: But that is part of what makes the show so entertaining. You never know where they'll go next. Lex loves Lana and always has? They even mess with their own canon. But I have to give it to The Rosenbaum. Somehow he made me buy it. The guy's got chops.
Veronica_Mars: So does Allison Mack. I really like the Chloe character a lot.
Madison_Sinclair: Yeah, didn't you like try to be her junior year?
Logan_Echolls: I can't believe I never thought of that! You really can't deny the resemblance.
Cassidy_Casablancas: Can we get back on topic? You guys already had your whole back and forth on The Office this week. What does everyone think about 7th Heaven? Rumor has it that it’s in its last season anyway.
Madison_Sinclair: No way! 7th Heaven has to make it to the new network. This past month-long hiatus has been torture enough.
Veronica_Mars: 7th Heaven makes me want to throw up a little in my mouth. I’m really hoping that this is the last season we have to put up with that family of freaks.
Gia_Goodman: My dad loves 7th Heaven. He says it’s a great family show.
Logan_Echolls: Several million people seem to agree with him, but I think those are just the whack jobs. My Dad likes 7th Heaven as well. Case in point.
Cindy_Mackenzie: What are they calling this new network anyway? Did they come up with some catchy name? Do they need someone to design them a logo perhaps?
Cassidy_Casablancas: They should have called you, Mac. You do great work. Maybe you could have advised them against the hideous name choice. They’re calling it "The CW."
Veronica_Mars: Clarence Weidman has his own television network? The Kanes must have given him a hell of a salary bump for falsifying their alibi!
Cindy_Mackenzie: The CW? Really?
Cassidy_Casablancas: Would I lie to you?
Cindy_Mackenzie: That's just depressing.
Dick_Casablancas: They should have called me. I could have helped them name it. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, The Dick Network.
Gia_Goodman: I don't know if that would work. I mean, what would be on The Dick Network?
Cassidy_Casablancas: PG, Dick. For the love of my journalism grade.
Dick_Casablancas: I got it, little brother. Don't worry. Everybody Hates Chris could be on my network. That little dude is pretty funny! Hey, that reminds me, where's your little buddy this week, Ronnie?
Madison_Sinclair: Whatever. I’ve never understood what’s so funny about Chris Rock. Why would I find his childhood funny?
Veronica_Mars: I think you actually need to have a sense of humor in order to find Chris Rock funny, Maddy.
Madison_Sinclair: I have a sense of humor. I just don't bother to use it on the lower class.
Veronica_Mars: You’re right. I’m sorry. I forgot you dated Dick. Now that was funny!
Dick_Casablancas: Douche chill!
Cassidy_Casablancas: And, on that note, I think I’m going to declare this Sound Off officially over.



Special thanks go out to afrocurl, babsonite, bennet_7, buffymars, cindywrites, rowanlove, spadada, sullyvann, and zimshan.