Wrist-Cut Show Chapter Three
Lost?:
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Interlude
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight *new*
Note: Another Die & Kaoru bonus because they’re not going to be active in the story for a while yet. I listened to Embryo for the first time while writing this, so this is Embryo inspired! Most of this was written while I was half-asleep and then proofread the next night when I was still half-asleep. Beware blaring errors! >.>; BTW, lucky you, this is a long chapter.
Warning!: Zomg, Kyo masturbation! Bad Kyo, don’t have such naughty thoughts! Not really graphic though.
Dedicated to Adam because he’s sexy. O.o
:-:-:
Wrist-Cut Show
Chapter Three
:-:-:
Shinya knocked sheepishly on Kyo’s door, pausing to listen carefully for any response. Toshiya had said a quick goodbye to him soon before. He had said he had a few other things to take care of and Shinya hadn’t give it much thought. He was currently too preoccupied with worrying about Kyo’s illogical reactions earlier at dinner. He knew it must be awkward, this being Kyo’s first night here, but Shinya had noticed that something else deeper was wrong with the orange-haired teenager.
His knock went blatantly ignored, and the brunette sighed deeply in defeat. It was really none of his business what Kyo wanted to do after all. Kyo wasn’t the most congenial boy Shinya had ever met, but he got the distinct impression that as long as he didn’t get on Kyo’s bad side he wouldn’t be purposely mean. Maybe Shinya just wanted to believe that Kyo was actually a very nice person, either way he would give the boy a chance.
Shinya’s body trembled as he retreated despairingly back to his room. He glanced up into his mirror, looking at the strained face that stared back wearily at him. It was getting late and he should probably head off to bed. Even though tomorrow was Sunday, he had to be up early. Shinya always woke up early because well, he didn’t remember anymore. He just did.
:-:-:
Kyo’s ‘meeting’ with his new father was short and to the point. He was awakened in the morning by Shinya’s hand gently shaking his shoulder, light fingers gripping delicately. Kyo had tried not to stare too long into those brown eyes that gazed down into his before shoving Shinya away and grumbling irritably about his need for more sleep. By the time Kyo had managed to pull on a baggy pair of jeans and an oversized shirt with the words ‘I’m not kawaii’ adorning the front, Tarou was already waiting impatiently for him at the door.
Kyo blinked at the stranger for a second, having completely forgotten that there was someone else living in the house besides him and Shinya. He shifted uncomfortably, running one hand back through his hair which was mussed and not nearly as spiky as it usually was because of his sleep.
“Good morning Kyo. Welcome to my house,” the words came quickly and before Kyo could get a proper look at the man in the overly expensive business suit, he was walking down the hallway and out the door.
“…Hi.” He muttered mordantly before yawning widely and proceeding to the bathroom down the hall.
“You have a bathroom in your room, you know,” came Shinya’s voice abruptly from behind him. Kyo yelped, jumping and inadvertently smacking his shin against the porcelain of the toilet.
“Damn it, Shinya!” Kyo cursed, rubbing his shin and glaring at the brunette.
Shinya’s face fell. “Sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter…” he grumbled, feeling slightly guilty for Shinya’s look and stalked back to his room to take a long shower.
“Hurry up because we need to leave soon.” Shinya called after him tentatively. Kyo didn’t bother to ask where it was they were leaving to.
The water felt amazingly refreshing against Kyo’s dirty skin as he turned his face up to the soft spray, his eyes closed tight as he enjoyed the sensation. Another day to go through, wasting more and more of his life doing shit that other people wanted him to do. Soon, he’d be out on his own and he could start living life the way that he wanted, get rid of these stupid rules and people that hardly cared about what he wanted to do.
He sighed, his mind casually turning to thoughts of Shinya. Kyo’s first impression was that the boy was seriously messed up. Kyo hadn’t missed out on Shinya’s little obsession with keeping himself clean as well as the things immediately connected with himself. Shinya was obviously traumatized by something, but who was Kyo to talk? He was pretty screwed up himself.
Besides that, Shinya was clearly gay. He had a boyfriend and he enjoyed dressing himself in girls’ clothes. Who knows why he decided to do that, but…Kyo had to admit, Shinya didn’t look half bad. He could understand why Toshiya would put up with all the negatives to their relationship. He could just imagine what Shinya would be like in the physical aspects.
Pale creamy skin danced in front of his eyes, full lips parted and panting. That intoxicating innocence that seemed to hang about his thin frame as he trembled and begged with heated whispers and moans. To have that body willing and lying beneath him, completely at one’s mercy. Staring into those brown eyes clouded with passion and lust, everything would be worth it then. Shinya timidly parting his legs, so incredibly willing to be ravished. Tasting the eagerness on his lips, feeling his body move hungrily with his own and building a passionate flame that left the brunette screaming in ecstasy.
Kyo felt his body tense at the image and he couldn’t help but let one of his hands drift down between his legs where he laid one hand on his tightening groin. Okay, so maybe Shinya was incredibly arousing, but Kyo wasn’t interested in pursuing any type of relationship with the brunette, not even friendship. He wasn’t interested in other people, but damn if his body agreed with him right now.
His hand worked anxiously up and down his hardening shaft as more images of a seductive Shinya assaulted his mind. Damn, why did the thought of that overly feminine boy writhing beneath him turn him on so badly? His body trembled as he tilted his head back, the water spraying down his naked body, his hand moving faster with growing enthusiasm. His hips began to impatiently thrust as he imagined Shinya’s lips closing tight around him and the warm wet expanse of his mouth encasing him. A deep moan escaped Kyo’s lips as his eyes squeezed shut. He was so close he could feel his stomach tightening. Just a few more strokes…
Kyo came suddenly, water mixing with semen as it smeared across his bare skin. He let out the breath that he hadn’t even known he had been holding, and leaned against the shower wall, letting his heart slow from its rapid beating. Shit, that was unexpected. He had never jerked off to the thought of another male before.
“Just another reason for people to hate me.” Kyo muttered bitterly to himself as he went about cleaning up the mess that he had made.
:-:-:
“Why am I here again?” Kyo grumbled acrimoniously to himself, standing in front of the large building in which hundreds of people, mostly kids his age, mulled about while chattering excitedly to each other about the latest gossip. This was the sort of place that made him feel contained and that did nothing but annoy him.
“I promised Tarou that I would accompany you to buy new clothes, but I’m sorry that you didn’t have a choice,” Shinya rambled, shifting uncomfortably in his miniskirt.
Kyo grunted and ignored the unnecessary apology. Instead he depreciatively eyed Shinya’s choice of garments. Not only was Shinya wearing a little black miniskirt and high heels, but the brunette was also wearing a tight shirt that more or less resembled a corset, but with a big bow where the strings met in the back.
“I’m not so sure I’m the one who needs a wardrobe makeover,” Kyo retaliated, gesturing grumpily to Shinya’s attire. Kyo had been woken up early on a fucking Sunday for this. He didn’t want a fucking makeover and he sure as hell didn’t want to wear whatever Tarou approved.
Shinya looked rather upset at Kyo’s reluctance to just blindly go along. “Tarou bought these clothes for me because he allowed me to choose them. He wants the same for you.”
Kyo huffed indignantly and put his hands sullenly into the pockets of his baggy pants while giving Shinya a look. “You’re just lucky that so many chicks have flat chests so people don’t find out that you’re really a fag.”
Shinya flinched at the word, recoiling from Kyo’s presence. Kyo immediately regretted his words when he saw the hurt look adorning Shinya’s features. He could almost feel Shinya’s self-confidence shrink.
“You’re…err…pretty like that though…” Kyo muttered, rubbing the floor with the tip of his boot, not quite knowing how to mend his words. His mind drifted briefly back to his time in the shower, but he shoved it out of his mind, determined not to think any different of the brunette because of it.
Much to Kyo’s surprise, a light blush covered Shinya’s cheeks and the slender boy shifted nervously, pushing a stray lock of auburn hair behind his ear.
“Let’s start?” The brunette asked softly. “I think I know a place with clothes that you’ll probably like.”
Kyo let himself to be led to a rather small store from which loud music blared and a large amount of Goth paraphernalia was displayed in the front.
“I’m not paying Tarou back for this, right?” Kyo questioned before he could let himself get excited. It had been quite a while since he had been able to pick out clothes for himself.
Shinya shook his head, his long hair bouncing, and held up a credit card in his hand. Kyo grinned wickedly, ready to enjoy himself.
:-:-:
“You really shouldn’t smoke.” Shinya commented, as Kyo leaned back lazily in his uncomfortable metal chair. They were seated at a table in a small outdoor café just outside the main mall area, though people were still mulling around them and being obnoxiously noisy.
“And you shouldn’t starve yourself.” Kyo replied touchily, taking a long drag from his cigarette. There was nothing better than buying a fresh pack paid by your new ‘dad’.
Shinya frowned concernedly and stirred the ice tea he was sipping with his straw. “I don’t starve myself.” He said quietly, looking thoughtful, his bangs just barely covering his brown eyes. “I’m just not very hungry.”
“How’d your parents die?” Kyo asked rather randomly, watching the surprised look cover Shinya’s face. He hadn’t been expecting that one. Kyo almost grinned. He liked keeping people one their toes.
“They didn’t.” The slim boy shifted uncomfortably, a visibly upset look clouding his usually pretty face with a darkened complexion. Kyo was slightly confused by his dramatic reaction, but didn’t press the issue further.
“So what’s with the geezer’s generosity?” He asked imperturbably, changing the subject quickly and gesturing to the two bags of clothing that were sitting next to them.
“Tarou is actually a very nice man, but he doesn’t really know how to express affection. It’s his way of welcoming you.” Shinya attempted to explain. Kyo was glad to notice the shadows clearing from his face at the mention of their guardian.
“Sounds like you’ve known him for a while.” Kyo commented, watching as Shinya took a small sip of his tea. Why was it so fascinating to watch the change of emotions play out on Shinya’s face?
“Around four years.” Shinya murmured quietly and he seemed to drift nostalgically off into memory for a while.
“And how long have you known Toshiya?” Kyo asked, humoring Shinya more by acting curious. It seemed to make Shinya a slight bit happier when Kyo pretended to have interest in things.
“Just as long. He used to be my neighbor, but his family moved after his parents got divorced.” Shinya set his cup carefully back down on the table and grabbed his bag, digging through it for something.
Kyo nodded, losing interest as Shinya’s face was obscured from view and his gaze turning to the people that were chattering loudly around him. Meanwhile, Shinya took out a small wipe and washed off his hands and disposed of his empty cup.
“We should go pick up your uniform now.” Shinya said tentatively, grabbing a hold of one of the shopping bags. He gazed into Kyo’s eyes as they snapped up to look at him once again
“Uniform?” Kyo asked, not at all liking what he was hearing. Uniforms were near the top of his ‘things I fucking hate above all else’ list. It should be noted that Toshiya’s giggle were still rated higher on said list.
“For school.” Shinya stated simply, staring at Kyo with apprehension. He could already tell that Kyo was going to be extra stubborn about this particular issue.
Kyo crossed his arms irately and glared defiantly up at Shinya. “No.” One small word, but with a powerful drive behind it.
Shinya was taken slightly aback by Kyo’s negative reaction. “What do you mean, no?” He stood their looking exceedingly anxious and Kyo couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the spastic teenager.
Kyo sighed and picked up the other bag that still sat dejectedly on the floor beside their table. “I don’t have time for school right now.” He muttered before ambling slowly away from the small café.
“What are you doing if you’re not in school?” Shinya asked, running after the short teenager with his purse and bag in tow.
Shinya was rather startled to see a slight blush cover Kyo’s cheeks. He’d never really seen Kyo look embarrassed before, but he hadn’t known the boy for very long after all. It just looked so…out of place.
“I’m starting a band.” Kyo murmured so Shinya could barely hear. Shinya was rather happy to hear this. He hadn’t know that Kyo was interested in music.
“I didn’t know you played.” Shinya said quietly, looking at Kyo with a newfound interest, but at the same time trying not to look too fascinated for fear of creeping the other boy out.
“I don’t really. I sing.” Kyo scoffed, turning his face from Shinya and looking instead at street full of cars zooming past.
“Oh,” was all Shinya could think of to say. Looking at Kyo he would have never guessed. He would’ve thought Kyo looked more suited for a guitar than a microphone, but well, he thought it would be rude to point that out. He couldn’t imagine what the spiky head teenager would sound like singing, especially since he always seemed to be speaking so gruffly to Shinya. Shinya looked at little differently at Kyo since that confession.
The rest of the evening was mainly eventless for the two. Toshiya called Shinya while they were on the bus going back home, causing Shinya’s little fruity jingle to case a stir among the passengers nearby. Kyo ignored the brunette as he chattered enthusiastically about their purchases. Kyo was feeling rather ill at ease at the moment. He wasn’t sure why, but suddenly he was very discontented with things again. It was as if he had unexpectedly remembered that he wasn’t enjoying himself.
Shinya had insisted on picking up the school uniform regardless of all Kyo’s protests. Kyo didn’t know why Shinya was bothering to help with all these tasks. If he had been in Shinya’s shoes he was pretty sure that he would be rather pissed to be expected to take care of a newcomer and almost complete stranger. Shinya seemed to take on the task differently, with almost an air of sanguinity. It was one thing that Kyo didn’t quite understand about the brunette.
As Kyo took off his old rumpled shirt, stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed that evening he couldn’t help but wonder just a little bit why Shinya was the way he was. Well, he might as well just get to sleep. It wouldn’t help just wondering about it.
:-:-:
The instant that Kyo woke he knew that something was very wrong. His mind struggled foggily to escape his dreams and awaken to consciousness while the distant sounds of screaming echoed in his thoughts. As soon as he snapped to awareness, he flew from his bed, his feet tearing across the carpet and his hand forcefully slamming open his door. He paused in the hallway listening carefully. The sound was coming from Shinya’s room next door.
What the hell was going on? His tired mind did not take the time to register the situation before he was tearing down the hallway and into Shinya’s room. As Kyo entered he saw that the brunette was thrashing in distress, screams echoing the silence of the night, reverberating against Kyo’s own heart. He was frozen by the sight of Shinya’s pale bare face, lips parted and tears pouring down from eyes clenched tightly shut. It bore a startling resemblance to…
“Tooru…” Tears were streaming down her beautiful face. Those lips moved soundless screams, sobs, cries all mangled and confused together. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t quite sadness. It was a wretched sound that embodied her guilt, her loss, her lust for affection that would not be answered. It was the emotion decaying inside of her heart, its foul and putrid stench ripping deeper into his own soul, rotting away what was left of him at a single tough. He was caught, sinking into depths from which he could not escape.
How could this be? Slowly Kyo stepped into the room gazing at her thrashing body, his arms reaching out to comfort, bringing that sobbing face and trembling frame into his arms. This time, he felt her solidly in his embrace, something that he had never be able to accomplish before. Holding tight onto her, he felt tears come unbidden to his own eyes. He had thought that he had lost her.
Shinya felt fear, his body trembling with the sensation of disquiet. He was swimming through a barren wasteland of night, nothing but his pulsing fear guiding him. It felt so empty, so very alone. He was blind, and his hands touched nothing time and time again as he reached out desperately needing something to grasp onto and give him an anchor in this horrible weightlessness.
“I didn’t want to do it. I had no choice.”
He heard his own voice weakly reverberated around him, but he had never felt those words slip from his lips. He tried to block them out, but images steadily streamed before his eyes, heedlessly of his muted protests.
A little boy with ebony black hair ran across the yard. The jubilant laughter of children filled the playground. The innocence of the scene was so sickening. Shinya watched from a pair of young brown eyes as the boy’s little hands gripped the rings of a ladder with fat tiny fingers and climbed up onto the slide. That boy, so innocent now, growing up to be…
Pain. Shinya felt this, his entire body beaten, unable to think but for this agony. Blood ordaining his hands, yet this blood had not come from his aching body. It burned deep into his hands like acid eating away at his pale flesh, leaving inerasable scars. Everything he touched was blood, became blood, smeared in blood, covering his skin, his face, his clothes leaving him stained and filthy.
“This is punishment for the sin of murder. My hands which have taken life from someone beloved.”
He was drowning, the crimson liquid rushing into his mouth. He tried to scream, to force the blood from seeping inside of him, but he could feel it slowly trickle down his throat, staining deep inside of him, corroding his internal organs. From the darkness, eyes gazed at him in disbelief, mocking him, blaming him, hating him. There was no denying the blood that covered him, that the truth was that this was real. There was no turning back, no more smiling faces, innocent laughs, there was nothing to reach for and no reason to continue…
Something wrapping around him, pulling his body above the surface of darkness, warm, so warm. It was almost as if he were being embraced. Shinya’s eyes snapped wide open, this time startled by the normalcy of what surrounded him. He felt sheets beneath his legs, his hands clenched fabric, it was dark, but his eyes could make out dim shapes. His hand reached up and he felt bare skin, and he realized his cheek was pressed against skin too. Arms gripped tight around his waist, cradling his body against the firm presence of another. He heard shuddered breathing, felt it brush against the top of his head, and soft whispers murmured in the silence of the night.
“Kyo?” Shinya asked in trepidation. His body felt grimy and sweaty against Kyo’s bare chest, reminding him of his dirty state. He was scared and shivering, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how he had gotten in Kyo’s arms and why Kyo was not responding to him.
The point between consciousness and unconsciousness always seemed to be so unclear for Kyo. He never felt awake when his eyes drifted open, he only felt as if he were just moving into another dream. It was just the way it felt like he was watching everything, but could not be a part of it. In his dreams, images assaulted, memories of sound and pain. The difference between reality and his dreams hardly mattered. In his dreams, he felt the pain and sorrow just as if they still meant something. Waking from a dream of her was waking into a reality without her existence, another level of pain. He could never prove himself now. Her eyes which had begged for something he did not understand, how was it possible to satisfy such a request?
Her hands reached out, beautiful fingers digging into his chest. Bloody fingertips wrapped around his pulsing heart, aching flesh torn. This wasn’t real, even though she was here. It was time to come back to reality.
He was gazing into frightened eyes and he felt a light weight in his arms. An unfamiliar scent, the smooth feel of skin against his fingertips, the flurry of a heartbeat that wasn’t his own. Someone else was here. For once he was glad. He was tired of being alone.
:-:-:
I felt myself drift away
I was dreaming, but
It slowly became my reality
:-:-:
-Bonus: Die & Kaoru-
If there was anything that Die’s parents were, they were complete bigots. They had liked their son well enough to begin with. After all, he was the eldest and the only male with three younger sisters. He was expected to make something of himself. He was supposed to take over the family business, he was to uphold the family name, and he was supposed to have a nice family with plenty grandchildren for his parents to spoil. What they weren’t expecting was that their son would be unabashedly gay.
Die was pretty sure of his sexual orientation. He had jerked off to enough gay porn to realize he really just didn’t dig women. He was pretty sure that after the initial shock his parents would grow to accept his lifestyle. What he didn’t expect was to be kicked out onto the street.
He had sat there in disbelief for quite a while, his suitcase mocking and reminding him of the events that had just occurred. One minute he was living a normal, assured life and the next he was out on the street, expected to fend for himself?
He could have called someone, child services, something like that, found a lawyer or hooked himself up with a program. He didn’t really like things like that, so instead he turned to the one person he had always trusted, his best friend.
Kaoru had now been settled into his one bedroom apartment for two months. He had moved out from his parents house, tired of them whining about his career choice and ready to really start a new life by himself. That was until the doorbell rang on one fateful afternoon.
He swung the door open to see Die standing there with a suitcase in one hand. Without waiting for an invitation the redhead sauntered inside, dropping his suitcase to the floor with a bang and plopping down on the couch. Kaoru stared at the audacious boy in confusion for a few seconds.
“I decided you’re my boyfriend now,” Die mentioned absentmindedly as he grabbed the remote and flicked on the small television.
Kaoru raised one eyebrow and closed the door that Die had left wide open. “And when did you decided this?” he asked, wondering just what his friend was doing here.
“About twenty minutes ago,” was Die’s lazy reply.
Kaoru sighed and ran a hand through his purple hair. “You do know that I’m straight, right? I have a girlfriend.” He stated, expecting this to all be some sort of outrageous joke his friend was playing on him.
What Kaoru didn’t expect was for Die to suddenly grin wickedly up at him and say, “Not for long, sweetie.”
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Interlude
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight *new*
Note: Another Die & Kaoru bonus because they’re not going to be active in the story for a while yet. I listened to Embryo for the first time while writing this, so this is Embryo inspired! Most of this was written while I was half-asleep and then proofread the next night when I was still half-asleep. Beware blaring errors! >.>; BTW, lucky you, this is a long chapter.
Warning!: Zomg, Kyo masturbation! Bad Kyo, don’t have such naughty thoughts! Not really graphic though.
Dedicated to Adam because he’s sexy. O.o
:-:-:
Wrist-Cut Show
Chapter Three
:-:-:
Shinya knocked sheepishly on Kyo’s door, pausing to listen carefully for any response. Toshiya had said a quick goodbye to him soon before. He had said he had a few other things to take care of and Shinya hadn’t give it much thought. He was currently too preoccupied with worrying about Kyo’s illogical reactions earlier at dinner. He knew it must be awkward, this being Kyo’s first night here, but Shinya had noticed that something else deeper was wrong with the orange-haired teenager.
His knock went blatantly ignored, and the brunette sighed deeply in defeat. It was really none of his business what Kyo wanted to do after all. Kyo wasn’t the most congenial boy Shinya had ever met, but he got the distinct impression that as long as he didn’t get on Kyo’s bad side he wouldn’t be purposely mean. Maybe Shinya just wanted to believe that Kyo was actually a very nice person, either way he would give the boy a chance.
Shinya’s body trembled as he retreated despairingly back to his room. He glanced up into his mirror, looking at the strained face that stared back wearily at him. It was getting late and he should probably head off to bed. Even though tomorrow was Sunday, he had to be up early. Shinya always woke up early because well, he didn’t remember anymore. He just did.
:-:-:
Kyo’s ‘meeting’ with his new father was short and to the point. He was awakened in the morning by Shinya’s hand gently shaking his shoulder, light fingers gripping delicately. Kyo had tried not to stare too long into those brown eyes that gazed down into his before shoving Shinya away and grumbling irritably about his need for more sleep. By the time Kyo had managed to pull on a baggy pair of jeans and an oversized shirt with the words ‘I’m not kawaii’ adorning the front, Tarou was already waiting impatiently for him at the door.
Kyo blinked at the stranger for a second, having completely forgotten that there was someone else living in the house besides him and Shinya. He shifted uncomfortably, running one hand back through his hair which was mussed and not nearly as spiky as it usually was because of his sleep.
“Good morning Kyo. Welcome to my house,” the words came quickly and before Kyo could get a proper look at the man in the overly expensive business suit, he was walking down the hallway and out the door.
“…Hi.” He muttered mordantly before yawning widely and proceeding to the bathroom down the hall.
“You have a bathroom in your room, you know,” came Shinya’s voice abruptly from behind him. Kyo yelped, jumping and inadvertently smacking his shin against the porcelain of the toilet.
“Damn it, Shinya!” Kyo cursed, rubbing his shin and glaring at the brunette.
Shinya’s face fell. “Sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter…” he grumbled, feeling slightly guilty for Shinya’s look and stalked back to his room to take a long shower.
“Hurry up because we need to leave soon.” Shinya called after him tentatively. Kyo didn’t bother to ask where it was they were leaving to.
The water felt amazingly refreshing against Kyo’s dirty skin as he turned his face up to the soft spray, his eyes closed tight as he enjoyed the sensation. Another day to go through, wasting more and more of his life doing shit that other people wanted him to do. Soon, he’d be out on his own and he could start living life the way that he wanted, get rid of these stupid rules and people that hardly cared about what he wanted to do.
He sighed, his mind casually turning to thoughts of Shinya. Kyo’s first impression was that the boy was seriously messed up. Kyo hadn’t missed out on Shinya’s little obsession with keeping himself clean as well as the things immediately connected with himself. Shinya was obviously traumatized by something, but who was Kyo to talk? He was pretty screwed up himself.
Besides that, Shinya was clearly gay. He had a boyfriend and he enjoyed dressing himself in girls’ clothes. Who knows why he decided to do that, but…Kyo had to admit, Shinya didn’t look half bad. He could understand why Toshiya would put up with all the negatives to their relationship. He could just imagine what Shinya would be like in the physical aspects.
Pale creamy skin danced in front of his eyes, full lips parted and panting. That intoxicating innocence that seemed to hang about his thin frame as he trembled and begged with heated whispers and moans. To have that body willing and lying beneath him, completely at one’s mercy. Staring into those brown eyes clouded with passion and lust, everything would be worth it then. Shinya timidly parting his legs, so incredibly willing to be ravished. Tasting the eagerness on his lips, feeling his body move hungrily with his own and building a passionate flame that left the brunette screaming in ecstasy.
Kyo felt his body tense at the image and he couldn’t help but let one of his hands drift down between his legs where he laid one hand on his tightening groin. Okay, so maybe Shinya was incredibly arousing, but Kyo wasn’t interested in pursuing any type of relationship with the brunette, not even friendship. He wasn’t interested in other people, but damn if his body agreed with him right now.
His hand worked anxiously up and down his hardening shaft as more images of a seductive Shinya assaulted his mind. Damn, why did the thought of that overly feminine boy writhing beneath him turn him on so badly? His body trembled as he tilted his head back, the water spraying down his naked body, his hand moving faster with growing enthusiasm. His hips began to impatiently thrust as he imagined Shinya’s lips closing tight around him and the warm wet expanse of his mouth encasing him. A deep moan escaped Kyo’s lips as his eyes squeezed shut. He was so close he could feel his stomach tightening. Just a few more strokes…
Kyo came suddenly, water mixing with semen as it smeared across his bare skin. He let out the breath that he hadn’t even known he had been holding, and leaned against the shower wall, letting his heart slow from its rapid beating. Shit, that was unexpected. He had never jerked off to the thought of another male before.
“Just another reason for people to hate me.” Kyo muttered bitterly to himself as he went about cleaning up the mess that he had made.
:-:-:
“Why am I here again?” Kyo grumbled acrimoniously to himself, standing in front of the large building in which hundreds of people, mostly kids his age, mulled about while chattering excitedly to each other about the latest gossip. This was the sort of place that made him feel contained and that did nothing but annoy him.
“I promised Tarou that I would accompany you to buy new clothes, but I’m sorry that you didn’t have a choice,” Shinya rambled, shifting uncomfortably in his miniskirt.
Kyo grunted and ignored the unnecessary apology. Instead he depreciatively eyed Shinya’s choice of garments. Not only was Shinya wearing a little black miniskirt and high heels, but the brunette was also wearing a tight shirt that more or less resembled a corset, but with a big bow where the strings met in the back.
“I’m not so sure I’m the one who needs a wardrobe makeover,” Kyo retaliated, gesturing grumpily to Shinya’s attire. Kyo had been woken up early on a fucking Sunday for this. He didn’t want a fucking makeover and he sure as hell didn’t want to wear whatever Tarou approved.
Shinya looked rather upset at Kyo’s reluctance to just blindly go along. “Tarou bought these clothes for me because he allowed me to choose them. He wants the same for you.”
Kyo huffed indignantly and put his hands sullenly into the pockets of his baggy pants while giving Shinya a look. “You’re just lucky that so many chicks have flat chests so people don’t find out that you’re really a fag.”
Shinya flinched at the word, recoiling from Kyo’s presence. Kyo immediately regretted his words when he saw the hurt look adorning Shinya’s features. He could almost feel Shinya’s self-confidence shrink.
“You’re…err…pretty like that though…” Kyo muttered, rubbing the floor with the tip of his boot, not quite knowing how to mend his words. His mind drifted briefly back to his time in the shower, but he shoved it out of his mind, determined not to think any different of the brunette because of it.
Much to Kyo’s surprise, a light blush covered Shinya’s cheeks and the slender boy shifted nervously, pushing a stray lock of auburn hair behind his ear.
“Let’s start?” The brunette asked softly. “I think I know a place with clothes that you’ll probably like.”
Kyo let himself to be led to a rather small store from which loud music blared and a large amount of Goth paraphernalia was displayed in the front.
“I’m not paying Tarou back for this, right?” Kyo questioned before he could let himself get excited. It had been quite a while since he had been able to pick out clothes for himself.
Shinya shook his head, his long hair bouncing, and held up a credit card in his hand. Kyo grinned wickedly, ready to enjoy himself.
:-:-:
“You really shouldn’t smoke.” Shinya commented, as Kyo leaned back lazily in his uncomfortable metal chair. They were seated at a table in a small outdoor café just outside the main mall area, though people were still mulling around them and being obnoxiously noisy.
“And you shouldn’t starve yourself.” Kyo replied touchily, taking a long drag from his cigarette. There was nothing better than buying a fresh pack paid by your new ‘dad’.
Shinya frowned concernedly and stirred the ice tea he was sipping with his straw. “I don’t starve myself.” He said quietly, looking thoughtful, his bangs just barely covering his brown eyes. “I’m just not very hungry.”
“How’d your parents die?” Kyo asked rather randomly, watching the surprised look cover Shinya’s face. He hadn’t been expecting that one. Kyo almost grinned. He liked keeping people one their toes.
“They didn’t.” The slim boy shifted uncomfortably, a visibly upset look clouding his usually pretty face with a darkened complexion. Kyo was slightly confused by his dramatic reaction, but didn’t press the issue further.
“So what’s with the geezer’s generosity?” He asked imperturbably, changing the subject quickly and gesturing to the two bags of clothing that were sitting next to them.
“Tarou is actually a very nice man, but he doesn’t really know how to express affection. It’s his way of welcoming you.” Shinya attempted to explain. Kyo was glad to notice the shadows clearing from his face at the mention of their guardian.
“Sounds like you’ve known him for a while.” Kyo commented, watching as Shinya took a small sip of his tea. Why was it so fascinating to watch the change of emotions play out on Shinya’s face?
“Around four years.” Shinya murmured quietly and he seemed to drift nostalgically off into memory for a while.
“And how long have you known Toshiya?” Kyo asked, humoring Shinya more by acting curious. It seemed to make Shinya a slight bit happier when Kyo pretended to have interest in things.
“Just as long. He used to be my neighbor, but his family moved after his parents got divorced.” Shinya set his cup carefully back down on the table and grabbed his bag, digging through it for something.
Kyo nodded, losing interest as Shinya’s face was obscured from view and his gaze turning to the people that were chattering loudly around him. Meanwhile, Shinya took out a small wipe and washed off his hands and disposed of his empty cup.
“We should go pick up your uniform now.” Shinya said tentatively, grabbing a hold of one of the shopping bags. He gazed into Kyo’s eyes as they snapped up to look at him once again
“Uniform?” Kyo asked, not at all liking what he was hearing. Uniforms were near the top of his ‘things I fucking hate above all else’ list. It should be noted that Toshiya’s giggle were still rated higher on said list.
“For school.” Shinya stated simply, staring at Kyo with apprehension. He could already tell that Kyo was going to be extra stubborn about this particular issue.
Kyo crossed his arms irately and glared defiantly up at Shinya. “No.” One small word, but with a powerful drive behind it.
Shinya was taken slightly aback by Kyo’s negative reaction. “What do you mean, no?” He stood their looking exceedingly anxious and Kyo couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the spastic teenager.
Kyo sighed and picked up the other bag that still sat dejectedly on the floor beside their table. “I don’t have time for school right now.” He muttered before ambling slowly away from the small café.
“What are you doing if you’re not in school?” Shinya asked, running after the short teenager with his purse and bag in tow.
Shinya was rather startled to see a slight blush cover Kyo’s cheeks. He’d never really seen Kyo look embarrassed before, but he hadn’t known the boy for very long after all. It just looked so…out of place.
“I’m starting a band.” Kyo murmured so Shinya could barely hear. Shinya was rather happy to hear this. He hadn’t know that Kyo was interested in music.
“I didn’t know you played.” Shinya said quietly, looking at Kyo with a newfound interest, but at the same time trying not to look too fascinated for fear of creeping the other boy out.
“I don’t really. I sing.” Kyo scoffed, turning his face from Shinya and looking instead at street full of cars zooming past.
“Oh,” was all Shinya could think of to say. Looking at Kyo he would have never guessed. He would’ve thought Kyo looked more suited for a guitar than a microphone, but well, he thought it would be rude to point that out. He couldn’t imagine what the spiky head teenager would sound like singing, especially since he always seemed to be speaking so gruffly to Shinya. Shinya looked at little differently at Kyo since that confession.
The rest of the evening was mainly eventless for the two. Toshiya called Shinya while they were on the bus going back home, causing Shinya’s little fruity jingle to case a stir among the passengers nearby. Kyo ignored the brunette as he chattered enthusiastically about their purchases. Kyo was feeling rather ill at ease at the moment. He wasn’t sure why, but suddenly he was very discontented with things again. It was as if he had unexpectedly remembered that he wasn’t enjoying himself.
Shinya had insisted on picking up the school uniform regardless of all Kyo’s protests. Kyo didn’t know why Shinya was bothering to help with all these tasks. If he had been in Shinya’s shoes he was pretty sure that he would be rather pissed to be expected to take care of a newcomer and almost complete stranger. Shinya seemed to take on the task differently, with almost an air of sanguinity. It was one thing that Kyo didn’t quite understand about the brunette.
As Kyo took off his old rumpled shirt, stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed that evening he couldn’t help but wonder just a little bit why Shinya was the way he was. Well, he might as well just get to sleep. It wouldn’t help just wondering about it.
:-:-:
The instant that Kyo woke he knew that something was very wrong. His mind struggled foggily to escape his dreams and awaken to consciousness while the distant sounds of screaming echoed in his thoughts. As soon as he snapped to awareness, he flew from his bed, his feet tearing across the carpet and his hand forcefully slamming open his door. He paused in the hallway listening carefully. The sound was coming from Shinya’s room next door.
What the hell was going on? His tired mind did not take the time to register the situation before he was tearing down the hallway and into Shinya’s room. As Kyo entered he saw that the brunette was thrashing in distress, screams echoing the silence of the night, reverberating against Kyo’s own heart. He was frozen by the sight of Shinya’s pale bare face, lips parted and tears pouring down from eyes clenched tightly shut. It bore a startling resemblance to…
“Tooru…” Tears were streaming down her beautiful face. Those lips moved soundless screams, sobs, cries all mangled and confused together. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t quite sadness. It was a wretched sound that embodied her guilt, her loss, her lust for affection that would not be answered. It was the emotion decaying inside of her heart, its foul and putrid stench ripping deeper into his own soul, rotting away what was left of him at a single tough. He was caught, sinking into depths from which he could not escape.
How could this be? Slowly Kyo stepped into the room gazing at her thrashing body, his arms reaching out to comfort, bringing that sobbing face and trembling frame into his arms. This time, he felt her solidly in his embrace, something that he had never be able to accomplish before. Holding tight onto her, he felt tears come unbidden to his own eyes. He had thought that he had lost her.
Shinya felt fear, his body trembling with the sensation of disquiet. He was swimming through a barren wasteland of night, nothing but his pulsing fear guiding him. It felt so empty, so very alone. He was blind, and his hands touched nothing time and time again as he reached out desperately needing something to grasp onto and give him an anchor in this horrible weightlessness.
“I didn’t want to do it. I had no choice.”
He heard his own voice weakly reverberated around him, but he had never felt those words slip from his lips. He tried to block them out, but images steadily streamed before his eyes, heedlessly of his muted protests.
A little boy with ebony black hair ran across the yard. The jubilant laughter of children filled the playground. The innocence of the scene was so sickening. Shinya watched from a pair of young brown eyes as the boy’s little hands gripped the rings of a ladder with fat tiny fingers and climbed up onto the slide. That boy, so innocent now, growing up to be…
Pain. Shinya felt this, his entire body beaten, unable to think but for this agony. Blood ordaining his hands, yet this blood had not come from his aching body. It burned deep into his hands like acid eating away at his pale flesh, leaving inerasable scars. Everything he touched was blood, became blood, smeared in blood, covering his skin, his face, his clothes leaving him stained and filthy.
“This is punishment for the sin of murder. My hands which have taken life from someone beloved.”
He was drowning, the crimson liquid rushing into his mouth. He tried to scream, to force the blood from seeping inside of him, but he could feel it slowly trickle down his throat, staining deep inside of him, corroding his internal organs. From the darkness, eyes gazed at him in disbelief, mocking him, blaming him, hating him. There was no denying the blood that covered him, that the truth was that this was real. There was no turning back, no more smiling faces, innocent laughs, there was nothing to reach for and no reason to continue…
Something wrapping around him, pulling his body above the surface of darkness, warm, so warm. It was almost as if he were being embraced. Shinya’s eyes snapped wide open, this time startled by the normalcy of what surrounded him. He felt sheets beneath his legs, his hands clenched fabric, it was dark, but his eyes could make out dim shapes. His hand reached up and he felt bare skin, and he realized his cheek was pressed against skin too. Arms gripped tight around his waist, cradling his body against the firm presence of another. He heard shuddered breathing, felt it brush against the top of his head, and soft whispers murmured in the silence of the night.
“Kyo?” Shinya asked in trepidation. His body felt grimy and sweaty against Kyo’s bare chest, reminding him of his dirty state. He was scared and shivering, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how he had gotten in Kyo’s arms and why Kyo was not responding to him.
The point between consciousness and unconsciousness always seemed to be so unclear for Kyo. He never felt awake when his eyes drifted open, he only felt as if he were just moving into another dream. It was just the way it felt like he was watching everything, but could not be a part of it. In his dreams, images assaulted, memories of sound and pain. The difference between reality and his dreams hardly mattered. In his dreams, he felt the pain and sorrow just as if they still meant something. Waking from a dream of her was waking into a reality without her existence, another level of pain. He could never prove himself now. Her eyes which had begged for something he did not understand, how was it possible to satisfy such a request?
Her hands reached out, beautiful fingers digging into his chest. Bloody fingertips wrapped around his pulsing heart, aching flesh torn. This wasn’t real, even though she was here. It was time to come back to reality.
He was gazing into frightened eyes and he felt a light weight in his arms. An unfamiliar scent, the smooth feel of skin against his fingertips, the flurry of a heartbeat that wasn’t his own. Someone else was here. For once he was glad. He was tired of being alone.
:-:-:
I felt myself drift away
I was dreaming, but
It slowly became my reality
:-:-:
-Bonus: Die & Kaoru-
If there was anything that Die’s parents were, they were complete bigots. They had liked their son well enough to begin with. After all, he was the eldest and the only male with three younger sisters. He was expected to make something of himself. He was supposed to take over the family business, he was to uphold the family name, and he was supposed to have a nice family with plenty grandchildren for his parents to spoil. What they weren’t expecting was that their son would be unabashedly gay.
Die was pretty sure of his sexual orientation. He had jerked off to enough gay porn to realize he really just didn’t dig women. He was pretty sure that after the initial shock his parents would grow to accept his lifestyle. What he didn’t expect was to be kicked out onto the street.
He had sat there in disbelief for quite a while, his suitcase mocking and reminding him of the events that had just occurred. One minute he was living a normal, assured life and the next he was out on the street, expected to fend for himself?
He could have called someone, child services, something like that, found a lawyer or hooked himself up with a program. He didn’t really like things like that, so instead he turned to the one person he had always trusted, his best friend.
Kaoru had now been settled into his one bedroom apartment for two months. He had moved out from his parents house, tired of them whining about his career choice and ready to really start a new life by himself. That was until the doorbell rang on one fateful afternoon.
He swung the door open to see Die standing there with a suitcase in one hand. Without waiting for an invitation the redhead sauntered inside, dropping his suitcase to the floor with a bang and plopping down on the couch. Kaoru stared at the audacious boy in confusion for a few seconds.
“I decided you’re my boyfriend now,” Die mentioned absentmindedly as he grabbed the remote and flicked on the small television.
Kaoru raised one eyebrow and closed the door that Die had left wide open. “And when did you decided this?” he asked, wondering just what his friend was doing here.
“About twenty minutes ago,” was Die’s lazy reply.
Kaoru sighed and ran a hand through his purple hair. “You do know that I’m straight, right? I have a girlfriend.” He stated, expecting this to all be some sort of outrageous joke his friend was playing on him.
What Kaoru didn’t expect was for Die to suddenly grin wickedly up at him and say, “Not for long, sweetie.”