Wrist-Cut Show Chapter Two
Lost?:
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Interlude
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight *new*
[last updated November 10th 2007]
Note: >.< OMFG!!!1!1one…This wouldn’t come out! -stomps around angrily- I’ve never spent so many hours staring at my computer screen in frustration. -cries- (FYI)I messed around with their ages… Alsssooo…I’m hoping that I can bring out Kyo’s silly side soon and have Shinya prove (or fail to) his masculinity! As a bonus I added some background on Die and Kaoru in this because the chapter wasn’t long enough.
Warnings: Language, Violence, Totchi’s lovably bad teeth >_<
:-:-:
Wrist-Cut Show
Chapter Two
:-:-:
Shinya was absolutely on the edge of his seat, sitting on a small plastic bench at the crowded bus stop, his petite hands gripping tightly onto the hem of his over-sized shirt. His eyes shifted fretfully over the swathes of people periodically getting on and off the bus. The allotted time had come and gone and still no sign of anyone that looked remotely like the boy Shinya was waiting for.
This was a true quandary because Shinya was the type to worry over the most nominal of concerns. He was easily frustrated to tears which made it difficult for other people to get along with him. He never meant to be that way, but he couldn’t deny that he was definitely different than everyone.
What should he do? He looked around frantically, gazing over people’s bored and disgruntled faces, looking for someone, anyone, about his age. All the people he saw seemed to have a definite course of action and were already walking off in other directions, towards their predetermined destinations. He watched hopefully as one male paused in seemingly uncertainty, but Shinya’s hopes were dashed as the boy pulled out a cell phone and began to walk away.
Maybe the bus had been delayed? Shinya’s lip trembled, his knuckles turning white as he clutched his shirt even tighter. Tarou would be so angry at him. He’d done everything as instructed, but still he couldn’t even get this one simple thing right. He felt tears come unbidden to his eyes, and he brushed crossly at them, hating the way people always stared at him when he got distraught.
Even more so, Toshiya was supposed to come over and visit him this evening! What if Toshiya showed up there when he wasn’t there? Toshiya might get upset with him, and he may even just leave. Shinya felt himself wobble and he hastily pulled out his cell phone, his fingers sliding over familiar buttons. He better call Toshiya right now.
:-:-:
Kyo shifted uncomfortably in his seat, letting the wind from the open window disarray his orange spikes of hair and cool his balmy face from the heat of the day. He was feeling sleepy again but the annoying twit who was driving kept pestering him with questions and he couldn’t take two seconds for Kyo to shut his eyes and get a little snooze in.
“So, where you headed?” Toshiya asked, glancing over at the blasé Kyo sitting next to him. He let his eyes drift briefly over the boy’s features before looking back again at the road.
“None of your business.” Kyo muttered tetchily, drumming his fingers on plastic of the car door. “Do you mind if I smoke?” he said, pulling out his last cigarette without waiting for confirmation.
Toshiya grinned blithely at him, “Need a light?”
Kyo shook his head, digging into his pocket and pulling out his lighter. He lit his cigarette appreciatively, enjoying his first smoke in quite a while. Damn non-smoking public areas expecting him to go without his cigarettes for excruciatingly long amounts of time.
“Are you running away?” Toshiya asked curiously, as he made a left and entered the city. The traffic was slow and Toshiya surmised it had something to do with the flashing of lights up ahead. Probably an accident.
Kyo snorted and dug through his belongings, intent on finding one of his spare notebooks. He had just had an idea.
“I’ll take that as a no.” Toshiya replied, looking inquisitively at what his passenger was doing. “Are you writing?” He questioned incredulously, surprised when he saw Kyo pull out a pen.
“Yeah, what’s it to you?” Kyo retorted, pulling the cap of his pen off crossly and scribbling something that Toshiya couldn’t quite read. “I’m not dim. I can write.”
Toshiya giggled, something which Kyo soon discovered grated on his nerves dreadfully. “Sorry. You just don’t look the type.”
“A lot of people say that.” Kyo muttered in response, closing his notebook and sighing. “I’m a foster ‘child’. I’m going to my new home.”
Toshiya blinked, startled at Kyo’s sudden willingness to talk about himself. “Oh. Yeah, my boyfriend’s in the system too. Crazy as shit he is, but I guess I love him.” He laughed a little to himself, running his fingers through his hair again. “Shinya…I’m supposed to be with him right now.”
Kyo grunted, losing himself in thought again. Wasn’t Shinya the name of the brat he was supposed to be living with? He disliked weird coincidences. Besides, it’s not like more than one person couldn’t have the same name.
“What is it?” Toshiya asked, curious about the bizarre look that had covered Kyo’s gloomy features.
“Hn…” Kyo took a long drag on his cigarette before saying, “The guy who I’m gonna stay with has another one named Shinya.”
Toshiya giggled again and Kyo cringed. “Hey, do you have an address? Maybe they’re the same!”
Before Toshiya could bug the boy any further, a ring was heard from the pocket of his jeans. Toshiya hastily dug into the pocket of his pants, pulling out his cell and flipping it hastily open.
“Hey baby!” Toshiya murmured. “I was just talking about you…”
Kyo sat, resting his cheek on one hand as he stared out at the buildings around them, watching as people walked busily by. Some were kids his age, out with their friends, with their boyfriends or girlfriends, smiling happily and gazing shyly at each other. Others were adults, some walking hurriedly with briefcases, some just strolling, some incredibly old and hobbling precariously along. It invoked a bizarre feeling in his chest, watching these people meander by, studying each and every expression as the car inched along through traffic, Toshiya chattering away excitedly on his cell phone while Kyo tuned out his noise.
Before Kyo could really ponder what the feeling was, he was literally shaken from his reverie by Toshiya excitedly tugging on his shoulder.
“Kyo! Kyo, they’re the same.” He squealed delightedly like he had just won some amazing prize.
“What’s the same?” he asked disinterestedly. His gaze drifted back out of the window, but the traffic was clearing and Toshiya began to drive quickly down the main streets, things passing by too fast for them to really register.
“You’re Shinya and mine! He says he was waiting at the bus for a Kyo and here I have one. You didn’t happen to miss a bus?” he asked eagerly.
“Yeah, something like that.” Kyo murmured, not as thrilled as his driver.
Toshiya grinned widely, showing off horribly crooked teeth. “This is so awesome. I seriously thought that I’d never see you after today, but if you’re living with Shin-chan then I’ll get to see you all the time.”
“Wonderful.” Kyo muttered, Toshiya too busy preening to notice Kyo’s sarcasm. Great, he was going to be stuck with this weirdo for a while, not mention Shinya, who was probably a psycho himself by the way Toshiya talked about him.
It was an awkward meeting to say the least. Toshiya pulled up into the paved driveway of the large two-story house that was to be Kyo’s home for however long it took him to mess up this time. A figure was already outside on the doorstep, bouncing fretfully on their heels, tears glistening in soft brown eyes.
Kyo felt…annoyed as he grabbed his bag out of the car and unhurriedly ascended the steps to where Toshiya was embracing the trembling figure. Didn’t those two know how weird it was to be embracing in front of him? Kyo rolled his eyes at the boy, Shinya he assumed, not amused at his womanlike behavior. He hardly seemed to be male at all, more like a simpering female in need of constant reassurance.
“Ah, Shin-chan, this is the guy, Kyo!” Toshiya announced happily, grabbing Kyo around the shoulders and shoving in full view of the brunette like he was some sort of new acquired toy. Kyo would have snarled at the audacious gesture, but Shinya looked almost frightened.
Kyo couldn’t help but wonder if he really was that scary or if Shinya just had a serious problem. Either way, he didn’t like that look of terror on his face, especially when those soft brown eyes were fixated on him. Kyo frowned, noting the tear stained features, Shinya’s makeup smearing slightly at the edges and the way the boy managed to look so incredibly slender and malnourished.
“Nice to meet you.” Kyo said in a rather flat tone after the immeasurable silence stretched on for quite a while. He could feel Shinya’s inquisitive gaze on his face, taking in his sour attitude, his shabby, rumpled clothes, and the lone bag that he carried with him. He probably looked ugly and pathetic.
“Come inside.” Shinya responded, giving Kyo a shaky smile. He stood aside and let Kyo tentatively enter the house first. “Tarou will be here for supper, so he should be back by later tonight if you want to meet him.”
Kyo grunted ambiguously, sliding off his shoes and stepping onto the clean wooden floors. “Where should I put my shit?” he asked uncouthly, gazing around at the abundantly furnished house.
Shinya frowned cutely, one thin hand reaching out to grab Kyo’s bag. ‘Maybe more of a pout,’ Kyo noted with amusement.
“This way, Kyo.” Shinya said the named slowly, as though testing it on his lips. The boy was hardly what he expected, but…maybe they could get along.
:-:-:
Dinner was a rather informal affair. Kyo had expected to meet his new ‘father’, but it seemed that the trial had run late and they were calling at his office, and the excuses went on. Shinya had given him a pitying look and told him to anticipate this kind of thing, it was normal behavior for the ever elusive Tarou. Not that Kyo was particularly looking forward to the meeting, but he wanted to just get it over with so he could go about disregarding everyone.
“I’m sorry I didn’t have more time to prepare a better dinner.” Shinya apologized after everyone said ‘Itaidakimasu[i]’ and dug in.
Kyo grunted (he had developed a habit of doing that around them) and looked down at his miso soup, poking at the white cubes of tofu despondently. Well, he was hungry, but he just felt so out of place in this house with its giant windows and expensive curios that decorated it. His thoughts drifted as he swallowed the hot broth. Shinya and Toshiya were two rather eccentric teenagers. They both laughed so easily, cried so easily, but each time it was genuine. They had plenty of emotion and no fear of expressing it. It almost made him feel…jealous.
“It really is a shame,” Toshiya’s voice cut into his thoughts, “Shinya really is the best cook around. He makes great Osechi[ii].”
Kyo looked up to see Shinya blushing faintly across from him. Toshiya was giving the brunette a silly grin with those horrid teeth. It irked him, watching Toshiya lean over and give Shinya a small peck on the cheek.
“I’m not that good at it,” Shinya murmured, setting down his chopsticks and picking up his napkin, dabbing at the invisible food he apparently thought he had spilled on the tablecloth. He stopped when he felt Toshiya’s hand grip lightly onto his reassuringly.
Kyo watched resentfully as Toshiya stroked Shinya’s hand softly. They had…something, something he did not. He couldn’t quite grasp onto exactly what it was, but it was vital somehow. What tied the two of them, it was a bond of trust. When was the last time he had ever trusted anyone?
“I’m tired.” Kyo said suddenly, standing abruptly from the table. The two looked up at him startled as he walked away but said nothing as to his strange behavior.
Kyo slammed his door closed irately behind him, sitting down onto his tidy, new bed, with his clean, new sheets all so perfect like the rest of his spotless fucking new room.
He didn’t belong in this place with these people. He didn’t belong anywhere and he never would. People could try to be nice to him all they wanted, they could try and care, could do things for him and buy things for him, but in the end they’d always leave. He was used to this now and he was sick of pity and the looks they would give him. ‘Poor child’ they would say. ‘We’ve got to help him’ they would promise each other, but it never ended up like that. It was hard for people to like him when they got close. Besides, he didn’t care about any of them. The only one he cared about had long ago abandoned him, taken her own life.
“She should have taken mine as well.” He muttered, his eyes closing as he leaned back against the wall, his hair falling slightly forward against his cheeks. He gripped his wrist tightly, his fingers brushing against the dull scars.
He still remembered the look on her beautiful face, the way she gazed into his eyes with a fervent brilliance that couldn’t be matched. Her full lips spoke words that he couldn’t quite understand. The pain was immense, but it was worth it just for the gleam in her eyes.
“We’re going together, Tooru. We’re both too hideous now.”
It was easy, all he had to do was sit there as she swiped the razor painfully across his small trembling wrists. The crimson tears that his skin bled should have been his last. A small smile on her lips and she rocked slowly back and forth, watching his blood spill.
“Your father doesn’t want us anymore.” Her eyes began to glaze in memory and she trembled, tears coming to her eyes.
Kyo wanted to reach forward and stop her crying, but his hands hurt so bad. They felt sticky and numb and the most he could do was slide slowly to the ground. His mother rested one hand on his head while she took in a shaky breath.
“Now, it’s mine turn.”
His mind faded away. There was only pain, blood, and those eyes dully gazing at him as she fell to the floor beside him. Blood was leaking slowly over her beautiful lips as she took in uneven breaths. What had she done to herself? He was too tired to find out, too tired to keep his eyes open, too tired to even breath.
That was when he should have died, that should have been his last breath. Was it luck or fate that his aunt was visiting that day, that she walked in to see her sister and nephew covered in their own blood? Why was it that he had been able to survive the trip in the ambulance to the hospital when he mother had not? It just wasn’t right, not right at all.
:-:-:
It’s like this
You live and you die
And you pretend to smile
:-:-:
The first thing Die noticed when he woke was a ghastly splitting headache to rival all others. The pain laced itself through Die’s aching head like a spider web of blistering fire. Die’s morning were often filled with hangovers (and other such nuisances from the previous night’s activities), but this one struck him as being considerably the worst so far.
His drowsy eyes slowly opened and he noticed with blurry eyes that something was fluttering in front of his face mockingly. With one sleepy hand he reached open to pry off the offending item which seemed to have been taped to his forehead. He forced his tired eyes to focus in on the scribbling.
Next time you come home drunk I’m locking you outside, no matter how much you beg. I mean it this time.
“Kaoru…” he moaned in exasperation, tossing the note away and attempting to sit up from his uncomfortable position on the rough carpet of the living room floor. Apparently he’d passed out before he had reached his bedroom.
“Heartless bastard. He didn’t even pull me up onto the couch.” Die complained, running a shaky hand through his messy red locks. He felt nasty, covered in dried sweat and he smelled something rancid. He looked down at his t-shirt and grimaced when he saw dried vomit covering its surface. No wonder Kaoru hadn’t touched him. He must’ve gotten pretty smashed last night.
Die cautiously stood up, making sure his legs would properly hold him before he stretched his arms. His back was absolutely aching. He was never more glad for a Saturday though. If it had been a weekday Die would’ve been woken at some ungodly hour, 7:00 am, and shipped him protesting off to that thing that Die despised with all his being, public school. Kaoru insisted that he intend despite the fact that Die was failing the majority of his classes at the moment.
Personally, Die just thought Kaoru was a big fat hypocrite. Though Kaoru had reached the age of 19 and should be off at some horrendously expensive college with some incredible scholarship (he was amazingly brilliant student), instead he was a cashier at the local supermarket. This was because, well, Kaoru’s passion was not to be a doctor or lawyer as his parents had dreamed so expectantly of him, but instead he wanted to play guitar. The only problem was, he hadn’t gotten anywhere yet.
Die played guitar also, one of the things he had picked up from Kaoru, so he could appreciate Kaoru’s dream. Kaoru had raw talent, but he just hadn’t gotten quite there yet. Things right now were far from focused on their musical career right now. Kaoru worked most of his time just to pay the rent, and though Die should’ve probably gotten a job himself, he just partied most of his time away (much to the annoyance of Kaoru).
Die didn’t feel too guilty about it though. He didn’t mooch off of Kaoru too much. He really cared about Kaoru, so he always made sure that he let Kaoru use his hard earned money on himself, though the stubborn man protested and attempted to buy him things. Die had always looked up to Kaoru, ever since they were younger and both in school. Though they never had any classes together because of their age difference, they still had managed to be best friends for most of their life.
Speaking of best friends, Die wondered idly where his was at the moment. He wandered into the kitchen and glanced at the clock. It was past noon and that meant that Kaoru was probably already off to work. A smile formed on Die’s lips when he spotted a glass of water and aspirin bottle set out on the table.
“Kaoru, you’re really just a big softie.”
:-:-:
[i] Itaidakimasu literally means ‘receive’. Usually said before eating.
[ii] Osechi are traditional Japanese foods that are usually made around New Years.
Thanks goes to all those dearies who reviewed and made my day just a little brighter ('cause that's all it takes to turn it around).
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Interlude
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight *new*
[last updated November 10th 2007]
Note: >.< OMFG!!!1!1one…This wouldn’t come out! -stomps around angrily- I’ve never spent so many hours staring at my computer screen in frustration. -cries- (FYI)I messed around with their ages… Alsssooo…I’m hoping that I can bring out Kyo’s silly side soon and have Shinya prove (or fail to) his masculinity! As a bonus I added some background on Die and Kaoru in this because the chapter wasn’t long enough.
Warnings: Language, Violence, Totchi’s lovably bad teeth >_<
:-:-:
Wrist-Cut Show
Chapter Two
:-:-:
Shinya was absolutely on the edge of his seat, sitting on a small plastic bench at the crowded bus stop, his petite hands gripping tightly onto the hem of his over-sized shirt. His eyes shifted fretfully over the swathes of people periodically getting on and off the bus. The allotted time had come and gone and still no sign of anyone that looked remotely like the boy Shinya was waiting for.
This was a true quandary because Shinya was the type to worry over the most nominal of concerns. He was easily frustrated to tears which made it difficult for other people to get along with him. He never meant to be that way, but he couldn’t deny that he was definitely different than everyone.
What should he do? He looked around frantically, gazing over people’s bored and disgruntled faces, looking for someone, anyone, about his age. All the people he saw seemed to have a definite course of action and were already walking off in other directions, towards their predetermined destinations. He watched hopefully as one male paused in seemingly uncertainty, but Shinya’s hopes were dashed as the boy pulled out a cell phone and began to walk away.
Maybe the bus had been delayed? Shinya’s lip trembled, his knuckles turning white as he clutched his shirt even tighter. Tarou would be so angry at him. He’d done everything as instructed, but still he couldn’t even get this one simple thing right. He felt tears come unbidden to his eyes, and he brushed crossly at them, hating the way people always stared at him when he got distraught.
Even more so, Toshiya was supposed to come over and visit him this evening! What if Toshiya showed up there when he wasn’t there? Toshiya might get upset with him, and he may even just leave. Shinya felt himself wobble and he hastily pulled out his cell phone, his fingers sliding over familiar buttons. He better call Toshiya right now.
:-:-:
Kyo shifted uncomfortably in his seat, letting the wind from the open window disarray his orange spikes of hair and cool his balmy face from the heat of the day. He was feeling sleepy again but the annoying twit who was driving kept pestering him with questions and he couldn’t take two seconds for Kyo to shut his eyes and get a little snooze in.
“So, where you headed?” Toshiya asked, glancing over at the blasé Kyo sitting next to him. He let his eyes drift briefly over the boy’s features before looking back again at the road.
“None of your business.” Kyo muttered tetchily, drumming his fingers on plastic of the car door. “Do you mind if I smoke?” he said, pulling out his last cigarette without waiting for confirmation.
Toshiya grinned blithely at him, “Need a light?”
Kyo shook his head, digging into his pocket and pulling out his lighter. He lit his cigarette appreciatively, enjoying his first smoke in quite a while. Damn non-smoking public areas expecting him to go without his cigarettes for excruciatingly long amounts of time.
“Are you running away?” Toshiya asked curiously, as he made a left and entered the city. The traffic was slow and Toshiya surmised it had something to do with the flashing of lights up ahead. Probably an accident.
Kyo snorted and dug through his belongings, intent on finding one of his spare notebooks. He had just had an idea.
“I’ll take that as a no.” Toshiya replied, looking inquisitively at what his passenger was doing. “Are you writing?” He questioned incredulously, surprised when he saw Kyo pull out a pen.
“Yeah, what’s it to you?” Kyo retorted, pulling the cap of his pen off crossly and scribbling something that Toshiya couldn’t quite read. “I’m not dim. I can write.”
Toshiya giggled, something which Kyo soon discovered grated on his nerves dreadfully. “Sorry. You just don’t look the type.”
“A lot of people say that.” Kyo muttered in response, closing his notebook and sighing. “I’m a foster ‘child’. I’m going to my new home.”
Toshiya blinked, startled at Kyo’s sudden willingness to talk about himself. “Oh. Yeah, my boyfriend’s in the system too. Crazy as shit he is, but I guess I love him.” He laughed a little to himself, running his fingers through his hair again. “Shinya…I’m supposed to be with him right now.”
Kyo grunted, losing himself in thought again. Wasn’t Shinya the name of the brat he was supposed to be living with? He disliked weird coincidences. Besides, it’s not like more than one person couldn’t have the same name.
“What is it?” Toshiya asked, curious about the bizarre look that had covered Kyo’s gloomy features.
“Hn…” Kyo took a long drag on his cigarette before saying, “The guy who I’m gonna stay with has another one named Shinya.”
Toshiya giggled again and Kyo cringed. “Hey, do you have an address? Maybe they’re the same!”
Before Toshiya could bug the boy any further, a ring was heard from the pocket of his jeans. Toshiya hastily dug into the pocket of his pants, pulling out his cell and flipping it hastily open.
“Hey baby!” Toshiya murmured. “I was just talking about you…”
Kyo sat, resting his cheek on one hand as he stared out at the buildings around them, watching as people walked busily by. Some were kids his age, out with their friends, with their boyfriends or girlfriends, smiling happily and gazing shyly at each other. Others were adults, some walking hurriedly with briefcases, some just strolling, some incredibly old and hobbling precariously along. It invoked a bizarre feeling in his chest, watching these people meander by, studying each and every expression as the car inched along through traffic, Toshiya chattering away excitedly on his cell phone while Kyo tuned out his noise.
Before Kyo could really ponder what the feeling was, he was literally shaken from his reverie by Toshiya excitedly tugging on his shoulder.
“Kyo! Kyo, they’re the same.” He squealed delightedly like he had just won some amazing prize.
“What’s the same?” he asked disinterestedly. His gaze drifted back out of the window, but the traffic was clearing and Toshiya began to drive quickly down the main streets, things passing by too fast for them to really register.
“You’re Shinya and mine! He says he was waiting at the bus for a Kyo and here I have one. You didn’t happen to miss a bus?” he asked eagerly.
“Yeah, something like that.” Kyo murmured, not as thrilled as his driver.
Toshiya grinned widely, showing off horribly crooked teeth. “This is so awesome. I seriously thought that I’d never see you after today, but if you’re living with Shin-chan then I’ll get to see you all the time.”
“Wonderful.” Kyo muttered, Toshiya too busy preening to notice Kyo’s sarcasm. Great, he was going to be stuck with this weirdo for a while, not mention Shinya, who was probably a psycho himself by the way Toshiya talked about him.
It was an awkward meeting to say the least. Toshiya pulled up into the paved driveway of the large two-story house that was to be Kyo’s home for however long it took him to mess up this time. A figure was already outside on the doorstep, bouncing fretfully on their heels, tears glistening in soft brown eyes.
Kyo felt…annoyed as he grabbed his bag out of the car and unhurriedly ascended the steps to where Toshiya was embracing the trembling figure. Didn’t those two know how weird it was to be embracing in front of him? Kyo rolled his eyes at the boy, Shinya he assumed, not amused at his womanlike behavior. He hardly seemed to be male at all, more like a simpering female in need of constant reassurance.
“Ah, Shin-chan, this is the guy, Kyo!” Toshiya announced happily, grabbing Kyo around the shoulders and shoving in full view of the brunette like he was some sort of new acquired toy. Kyo would have snarled at the audacious gesture, but Shinya looked almost frightened.
Kyo couldn’t help but wonder if he really was that scary or if Shinya just had a serious problem. Either way, he didn’t like that look of terror on his face, especially when those soft brown eyes were fixated on him. Kyo frowned, noting the tear stained features, Shinya’s makeup smearing slightly at the edges and the way the boy managed to look so incredibly slender and malnourished.
“Nice to meet you.” Kyo said in a rather flat tone after the immeasurable silence stretched on for quite a while. He could feel Shinya’s inquisitive gaze on his face, taking in his sour attitude, his shabby, rumpled clothes, and the lone bag that he carried with him. He probably looked ugly and pathetic.
“Come inside.” Shinya responded, giving Kyo a shaky smile. He stood aside and let Kyo tentatively enter the house first. “Tarou will be here for supper, so he should be back by later tonight if you want to meet him.”
Kyo grunted ambiguously, sliding off his shoes and stepping onto the clean wooden floors. “Where should I put my shit?” he asked uncouthly, gazing around at the abundantly furnished house.
Shinya frowned cutely, one thin hand reaching out to grab Kyo’s bag. ‘Maybe more of a pout,’ Kyo noted with amusement.
“This way, Kyo.” Shinya said the named slowly, as though testing it on his lips. The boy was hardly what he expected, but…maybe they could get along.
:-:-:
Dinner was a rather informal affair. Kyo had expected to meet his new ‘father’, but it seemed that the trial had run late and they were calling at his office, and the excuses went on. Shinya had given him a pitying look and told him to anticipate this kind of thing, it was normal behavior for the ever elusive Tarou. Not that Kyo was particularly looking forward to the meeting, but he wanted to just get it over with so he could go about disregarding everyone.
“I’m sorry I didn’t have more time to prepare a better dinner.” Shinya apologized after everyone said ‘Itaidakimasu[i]’ and dug in.
Kyo grunted (he had developed a habit of doing that around them) and looked down at his miso soup, poking at the white cubes of tofu despondently. Well, he was hungry, but he just felt so out of place in this house with its giant windows and expensive curios that decorated it. His thoughts drifted as he swallowed the hot broth. Shinya and Toshiya were two rather eccentric teenagers. They both laughed so easily, cried so easily, but each time it was genuine. They had plenty of emotion and no fear of expressing it. It almost made him feel…jealous.
“It really is a shame,” Toshiya’s voice cut into his thoughts, “Shinya really is the best cook around. He makes great Osechi[ii].”
Kyo looked up to see Shinya blushing faintly across from him. Toshiya was giving the brunette a silly grin with those horrid teeth. It irked him, watching Toshiya lean over and give Shinya a small peck on the cheek.
“I’m not that good at it,” Shinya murmured, setting down his chopsticks and picking up his napkin, dabbing at the invisible food he apparently thought he had spilled on the tablecloth. He stopped when he felt Toshiya’s hand grip lightly onto his reassuringly.
Kyo watched resentfully as Toshiya stroked Shinya’s hand softly. They had…something, something he did not. He couldn’t quite grasp onto exactly what it was, but it was vital somehow. What tied the two of them, it was a bond of trust. When was the last time he had ever trusted anyone?
“I’m tired.” Kyo said suddenly, standing abruptly from the table. The two looked up at him startled as he walked away but said nothing as to his strange behavior.
Kyo slammed his door closed irately behind him, sitting down onto his tidy, new bed, with his clean, new sheets all so perfect like the rest of his spotless fucking new room.
He didn’t belong in this place with these people. He didn’t belong anywhere and he never would. People could try to be nice to him all they wanted, they could try and care, could do things for him and buy things for him, but in the end they’d always leave. He was used to this now and he was sick of pity and the looks they would give him. ‘Poor child’ they would say. ‘We’ve got to help him’ they would promise each other, but it never ended up like that. It was hard for people to like him when they got close. Besides, he didn’t care about any of them. The only one he cared about had long ago abandoned him, taken her own life.
“She should have taken mine as well.” He muttered, his eyes closing as he leaned back against the wall, his hair falling slightly forward against his cheeks. He gripped his wrist tightly, his fingers brushing against the dull scars.
He still remembered the look on her beautiful face, the way she gazed into his eyes with a fervent brilliance that couldn’t be matched. Her full lips spoke words that he couldn’t quite understand. The pain was immense, but it was worth it just for the gleam in her eyes.
“We’re going together, Tooru. We’re both too hideous now.”
It was easy, all he had to do was sit there as she swiped the razor painfully across his small trembling wrists. The crimson tears that his skin bled should have been his last. A small smile on her lips and she rocked slowly back and forth, watching his blood spill.
“Your father doesn’t want us anymore.” Her eyes began to glaze in memory and she trembled, tears coming to her eyes.
Kyo wanted to reach forward and stop her crying, but his hands hurt so bad. They felt sticky and numb and the most he could do was slide slowly to the ground. His mother rested one hand on his head while she took in a shaky breath.
“Now, it’s mine turn.”
His mind faded away. There was only pain, blood, and those eyes dully gazing at him as she fell to the floor beside him. Blood was leaking slowly over her beautiful lips as she took in uneven breaths. What had she done to herself? He was too tired to find out, too tired to keep his eyes open, too tired to even breath.
That was when he should have died, that should have been his last breath. Was it luck or fate that his aunt was visiting that day, that she walked in to see her sister and nephew covered in their own blood? Why was it that he had been able to survive the trip in the ambulance to the hospital when he mother had not? It just wasn’t right, not right at all.
:-:-:
It’s like this
You live and you die
And you pretend to smile
:-:-:
The first thing Die noticed when he woke was a ghastly splitting headache to rival all others. The pain laced itself through Die’s aching head like a spider web of blistering fire. Die’s morning were often filled with hangovers (and other such nuisances from the previous night’s activities), but this one struck him as being considerably the worst so far.
His drowsy eyes slowly opened and he noticed with blurry eyes that something was fluttering in front of his face mockingly. With one sleepy hand he reached open to pry off the offending item which seemed to have been taped to his forehead. He forced his tired eyes to focus in on the scribbling.
Next time you come home drunk I’m locking you outside, no matter how much you beg. I mean it this time.
“Kaoru…” he moaned in exasperation, tossing the note away and attempting to sit up from his uncomfortable position on the rough carpet of the living room floor. Apparently he’d passed out before he had reached his bedroom.
“Heartless bastard. He didn’t even pull me up onto the couch.” Die complained, running a shaky hand through his messy red locks. He felt nasty, covered in dried sweat and he smelled something rancid. He looked down at his t-shirt and grimaced when he saw dried vomit covering its surface. No wonder Kaoru hadn’t touched him. He must’ve gotten pretty smashed last night.
Die cautiously stood up, making sure his legs would properly hold him before he stretched his arms. His back was absolutely aching. He was never more glad for a Saturday though. If it had been a weekday Die would’ve been woken at some ungodly hour, 7:00 am, and shipped him protesting off to that thing that Die despised with all his being, public school. Kaoru insisted that he intend despite the fact that Die was failing the majority of his classes at the moment.
Personally, Die just thought Kaoru was a big fat hypocrite. Though Kaoru had reached the age of 19 and should be off at some horrendously expensive college with some incredible scholarship (he was amazingly brilliant student), instead he was a cashier at the local supermarket. This was because, well, Kaoru’s passion was not to be a doctor or lawyer as his parents had dreamed so expectantly of him, but instead he wanted to play guitar. The only problem was, he hadn’t gotten anywhere yet.
Die played guitar also, one of the things he had picked up from Kaoru, so he could appreciate Kaoru’s dream. Kaoru had raw talent, but he just hadn’t gotten quite there yet. Things right now were far from focused on their musical career right now. Kaoru worked most of his time just to pay the rent, and though Die should’ve probably gotten a job himself, he just partied most of his time away (much to the annoyance of Kaoru).
Die didn’t feel too guilty about it though. He didn’t mooch off of Kaoru too much. He really cared about Kaoru, so he always made sure that he let Kaoru use his hard earned money on himself, though the stubborn man protested and attempted to buy him things. Die had always looked up to Kaoru, ever since they were younger and both in school. Though they never had any classes together because of their age difference, they still had managed to be best friends for most of their life.
Speaking of best friends, Die wondered idly where his was at the moment. He wandered into the kitchen and glanced at the clock. It was past noon and that meant that Kaoru was probably already off to work. A smile formed on Die’s lips when he spotted a glass of water and aspirin bottle set out on the table.
“Kaoru, you’re really just a big softie.”
:-:-:
[i] Itaidakimasu literally means ‘receive’. Usually said before eating.
[ii] Osechi are traditional Japanese foods that are usually made around New Years.
Thanks goes to all those dearies who reviewed and made my day just a little brighter ('cause that's all it takes to turn it around).