things dont totally suck right now...granted im still not exactly allowed out of the house but my new job is soooo much better than fucking macys and well theres always hot boy...fuck i need sex now

i was almost able to adjust to the fact that i failed and had to come home. i had a job and a good routine with cassi and galen which was actually keeping me stable. but then once again i had to fuck things up. now not only am i going to individual and group therapy to deal with the fact that i hate myself but i am also being drug tested and ( Read more... )

doing my homework sleeping and being alone this weekend really made me feel a bit better. plus im not getting kicked out of housing! ive decided to stop worrying about other people around here who bring me down and focus on my new friends which really just make me feel good. Im also glad lauren is back so i will be less lonely.

i wish there was some way that i could stop hating myself. i was hoping that college would change things and i could start over again. i could forget about every stupid natalie move ive made in the past but unfortunatly ive realized i cant escape being such a fucking retard. I just want to be able to respect myself. i want to be happy with the way ( Read more... )

i have to make a post because everyone is coming down here around three which means that ive decided to get my homework done before they get here. of course that means that i will just spend the next few hours on facebook and livejournal but at least i can pretend like i did something productive ( Read more... )

so ive gone around to everyone i was with last night and have pieced together the events ( Read more... )

oh my god im moving in tomorrow. thats unbelievable! its been such a beautiful and yet strange last day in the bay. im almost completely packed and now im just setting up my new computer and missing my friends. i wish that i could still have a mac cause macs make me feel safe. new computers take such a while to personalize and i think im gonna lose ( Read more... )

so much to do and so little time

so ive read even further into my lj past and ive decided that it is my goal to feel the way i did this past year. summer has change things and until now i did not remember just how content i was with the world and more importantly myself. i need to get back to that

i was going through my old entries and noticed that i never finsihed my acid story. of course i could never do that now, after so much has happened and ive been forced back into the reality of life. i think i need to do acid again soon so i can finish my story in the mind set it was meant to be written in.