sylvie's mom is dying.

for those of you who were at my sixteenth birthday and remember her, just keep her in your thoughts.

yesssss! I got all of the teachers I requested: uhlman for math, karp for english, rosen for theology, and the new guy who's teaching u.s. hist. and then wad for v.e. and swift for ap physics. oh joy ( Read more... )

ack. exactly what was mr. schadt's reason for going to be an FBI agent? it's making me lose a lot of fucking sleep over 'rational functions' and 'logarithms and their properties- i mean, what the f am i actually going to need this for in my life? i'm not good at math, and i'm certainly not going to be the next Einstein ( Read more... )

nothing really seems fair does it. I'm trying hard to remember that I exist. it's really hard because i really think i've already died and now i'm just a ghost. maybe this is what my personal hell is like. i hope so, because I can at least handle this.

shanleigh, like--what am I supposed to do about this? seriously, it's really eating me away. . .or something like that. -sighs- on the bright side, it's not like he's 70, right? oh god, this is so sad. but i don't even think it's because of the all girl's thing, i just really. . .you know whyyyyy

this realization is really disturbing and also sad. i can't tell anyone because they'll laugh at me, but I can't stand this. I mean, we always joke about but I think it's true this time.

anyone wanna hang out after school on thursday? (has to be like, after 3 cuz I have to be at bacc. . .whatever) shanleigh perhaps?

so I just practiced violin for two hours playing vivaldi's the foru seasons: winter. it's soooo fun. and then I have to start learning my string quartet music for Beethoven and Shostakovich. Peter always says his name weird and it really annoys me, IT'S NOT FUCKIN PRONOUNCED THAT WAY ( Read more... )

check out beck's new cd, i'll you send it some of the tracks to you if you like, it's SOOOO good.

it's all sunny that makes me feel warm--generally a good feeling. i feel oddly productive, i think i'm having like a turning point in my life or something. or maybe a moment of organizational genius. haha.

we leave for cabin on friday right after 3rd period. anyone wanna come with? no of course not. anyyywayyy. . .listening to Girl witha pearl, it's pretty sweet. people disappoint me so much, it's a weird cycle I do better when I don't depend on people but it's so hard when I want friends so bad. I just want people to love me but they just think ( Read more... )