Shitty Things People Say Part The Millionth

[naamah_darling]

This is just tremendously depressing to me. And this.

I don't understand why people think bullying is just part of life. Everyone experiences being pushed around, but the way we as a culture just accept this kind of thing to the point that children are committing suicide because of it . . . that's sick.

It's sick the way that the victims are

Comments

[sirriamnis]

I got the "just ignore them" and "words don't matter" crap when I was bullied in junior high. By the time the bullying escalated from words to being hit by a car, I knew better than to tell my parents because they weren't going to do anything about it anyway.

I told them years later, and they were horrified that I'd been HIT BY A CAR and never told them. To which I responded very matter of factly, "You didn't help me with anything else, why would I possibly have thought you'd help with that?"

This was during a discussion of Columbine where I said that while I in no way, shape or form condoned what those boys did, I understood it. And I stand by that. I do understand it. I spent years turning those destructive, violent urges inward, and starving myself, self-harming, drinking and doing drugs to try to make the hurting stop. And somehow because I was the only victim of those urges, that makes it ok for a whole lot of people.

[naamah_darling]

And somehow because I was the only victim of those urges, that makes it ok for a whole lot of people.

AIEEEE YES. THIS RIGHT HERE.

Christ.

I had a completely inappropriate reaction to Columbine. I laughed my ass off. Because I had been saying that was going to happen for YEARS, I had been saying it was only a matter of time, I had been saying that sooner or later someone was gonna snap and start offing people.

Then the age of school shootings came, and with every single one of them, I hoped that the people like the ones who had ignored me blamed themselves for every death.

[sirriamnis]

The other thing I wanted to point out about "words can't hurt you" is if the word being used to describe you is "slut" and every guy in school hears it and assumes that you are sleeping around, when you say no...

Let's just say it doesn't go well. Not even if you scream for help in a house full of your "friends."

[allthelivesofme]

Hell, I'm sorry. I need a Time Travel Ass-Kicking Machine for *so* many people. :-(

[amazon_syren]

I am willing to bet my house that those children were repeatedly told to just ignore what was being done to them. At eleven. When we are all so incredibly capable of ignoring things like daily pain.

So this made me cry. I kinda want to hug you right now.

[greyduck]

...trying to assert that "That's so gay!" is a perfectly okay thing to say...

Yeah, my roomie's son loves that particular turn of phrase, and cracks wise when I try to call him on it. Grrrr.

[wretchmuffin]

I understand your objective here, but doesn't a comment like this just reinforce that "gay" is something bad, shameful, problematic?

If I'm reading your intent correctly, which I might not be . . .

[sigelphoenix]

Agreed 100%, on both bullying in general and why "gay" as an insult is inexcusable.

Here's a related story, in which a 15-year-old boy defends himself against racial slurs and physical assault by breaking his bully's nose ... and gets suspended from school and charged with assault. (The suspension was dropped, though the charges still stand.)

The parents of the bully whine about how "embarrassed" and "emotional" they are, which ... really amounts to a whole lot of nothing in comparison to what the victims of bullies feel.

[allthelivesofme]

Oh man. :-( I remember when I was bullied in middle school, I finally went to the principal about it-- and he brought in the girl who was bullying me and wanted me to apologize to her for making accusations, because her parents had just gone through a divorce and I should understand that she was just acting out. Gah.

[pixxelpuss]

OH GOD. I hate that shit. When someone is making your life hell, you should not have to confront them face to face in the principal's office. That is insane and evil.

[elialshadowpine]

I hate that shit.

Yes, have the school counselors deal with the fact that the kid may be acting out due to the parents' divorce. Don't expect the kid she is bullying to forgive her actions because of it, much less apologize to her (what the everliving fuck???).

People are still responsible for their actions, and taking a "oh, but it's just because of..." attitude just teaches people to slough responsibility. Not like we don't have enough of that already.

[nighthellcat]

So this is where entitlement whores come from. I never knew before. =( No wonder they think the world owes them.