Shitty Things People Say Part The Millionth

[naamah_darling]

This is just tremendously depressing to me. And this.

I don't understand why people think bullying is just part of life. Everyone experiences being pushed around, but the way we as a culture just accept this kind of thing to the point that children are committing suicide because of it . . . that's sick.

It's sick the way that the victims are

Comments

[sirriamnis]

I got the "just ignore them" and "words don't matter" crap when I was bullied in junior high. By the time the bullying escalated from words to being hit by a car, I knew better than to tell my parents because they weren't going to do anything about it anyway.

I told them years later, and they were horrified that I'd been HIT BY A CAR and never told them. To which I responded very matter of factly, "You didn't help me with anything else, why would I possibly have thought you'd help with that?"

This was during a discussion of Columbine where I said that while I in no way, shape or form condoned what those boys did, I understood it. And I stand by that. I do understand it. I spent years turning those destructive, violent urges inward, and starving myself, self-harming, drinking and doing drugs to try to make the hurting stop. And somehow because I was the only victim of those urges, that makes it ok for a whole lot of people.

[naamah_darling]

And somehow because I was the only victim of those urges, that makes it ok for a whole lot of people.

AIEEEE YES. THIS RIGHT HERE.

Christ.

I had a completely inappropriate reaction to Columbine. I laughed my ass off. Because I had been saying that was going to happen for YEARS, I had been saying it was only a matter of time, I had been saying that sooner or later someone was gonna snap and start offing people.

Then the age of school shootings came, and with every single one of them, I hoped that the people like the ones who had ignored me blamed themselves for every death.

[sirriamnis]

The other thing I wanted to point out about "words can't hurt you" is if the word being used to describe you is "slut" and every guy in school hears it and assumes that you are sleeping around, when you say no...

Let's just say it doesn't go well. Not even if you scream for help in a house full of your "friends."

[allthelivesofme]

Hell, I'm sorry. I need a Time Travel Ass-Kicking Machine for *so* many people. :-(

[ravan]

Yeah, I admit that when I heard that the ones targeted were jocks, rah-rahs and sanctimonious popular girls I had moments of "Damnit, why couldn't I have done that." But since I'm not they type to kill even shitheads, there are a couple dozen people that are still alive to continue their bullying in the workplace.

[pixxelpuss]

My ex, who I went to high school with and who was bullied pretty viciously (both at school and at home by his dickhead brothers), responded to Columbine by saying that the only reason he didn't do the same is because he didn't have access to a gun. I believe him. And I still love him, and believe him to be a good person.

[naamah_darling]

Likewise. The only reason I didn't do it was because I was only 12-13 at the time, didn't have a gun or access to any weapons of note.

By the time I was in High School, it was a LOT better, thank goodness.

I still wanted to kill the kid who beat me up for years and years afterward. He's not worth the jail time, I wouldn't kill him NOW, but if I could have done it as a juvenile, I'd have done it.

[ravenskye8]

And somehow because I was the only victim of those urges, that makes it ok for a whole lot of people.

Yes. This.

I looked at Columbine as "that could have been me". I often daydreamed about having a weapon, and coming into the lunch room and taking my revenge on the students that hurt me...

Then the age of school shootings came, and with every single one of them, I hoped that the people like the ones who had ignored me blamed themselves for every death.But I doubt it even crossed any of their minds

[ceruleanst]

I would like to interject with this. It was just another way to avoid blaming bullies for anything they do (in this case, cold-blooded murder), and we fell for the whole thing.

[naamah_darling]

Oh my holy fucking Christ.

What the fuck?!

[harmfulguy]

My post-Columbine sympathies lay with the real "Trenchcoat Mafia" (with whom the actual killers were only loosely associated) and all the other kids who were singled out as "dangerous" in the hysteria of the day, on top of having been the bullies' main targets for years.

[ravan]

This too. The whole crackdown on people who were "different" just added insult to injury, and has probably caused more deaths.

[naamah_darling]

I know. Talk about missing the fucking point.

[txgecko]

My husband got shit at work that year because he wore a black trenchcoat to work - in Boston, in the fall when it was raining.