Comments | naamah_darling: Toward a Childfree Identity

naamah_darling

Toward a Childfree Identity

Nov 15, 2007 13:23

A friend, who has asked to remain anonymous for fear of leg-biting, poses a question about being childfree. It's a legitimate one that I have been asked before, but never seen answered. (And no, dear anonymous reader, I don't find the question offensive. I'm actually glad you asked.)

"I've been wondering why it's necessary to have the label. ( Read more... )

philosophical, childfree

Comments 471

ms_daisy_cutter November 15 2007, 20:04:19 UTC

That is awesome. Simply awesome.

mattg November 15 2007, 20:05:54 UTC

♥ you so much for this post.

wiccarowan November 15 2007, 20:12:23 UTC

Well, I am a breeder but it still makes me ashamed how some people react to the statement "I don't want kids". (A bit like how I'm mortified to be English whenever there's a football-based riot on the news ( ... )

mgs_naughtycat November 15 2007, 23:07:45 UTC

Sure, the human race would die out... but it would take a LONG LONG LOOONNNNGGGGG time before all the idiots quit involuntarily breeding.
So we're safe for a while... at least safe from a sudden lack of breeding... definately not safe from the idiocy though, unfortunately.

achanchinou November 16 2007, 00:29:05 UTC

Hah! I've often thought the same thing. My only bit of dismay, distress, or distaste toward childfree people (apart from the immediate back away slowly response to the rabid dogs of the lot, that is) is that entirely too many people I know who label themselves childfree are very intelligent, articulate people. The kind of people you WANT to have kids to help balance out the idiots, so we don't wind up like that movie Idiocracy.

Alas, it would be a much more beneficial use of my time to go on a vigilante sterilization run for the idiots than to beg the smart people to reproduce.

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somewoman November 15 2007, 20:19:24 UTC

Being judged can make you very defensive. Believe it or not, the things to which some childfree people have been subjected made me understand breast-feeding fanatics.

10dimensions November 15 2007, 20:45:34 UTC

"I honestly don't get the holier-than-thou attitude so many childfree seem to have."

It's a knee-jerk reflection of the same attitude the childfree get from parents. It goes both ways. And refer back to the part where our choice requires a defense; that kind of thing tend to make people pissier about a subject than they ordinarily might be.

Not saying it's right, but that's where it comes from in those who have it. Moral high ground is often a refuge of the minority.

jenbooks November 15 2007, 21:48:05 UTC

It's a knee-jerk reflection of the same attitude the childfree get from parents. It goes both ways. And refer back to the part where our choice requires a defense; that kind of thing tend to make people pissier about a subject than they ordinarily might be.

Exactly right on both counts!

Thread 17

syrinxkat November 15 2007, 20:18:59 UTC

I had a teacher in high school who was part mentor, part mother to me. I adored her and gave great weight to everything she said. One day I shared with her my firm resolve to be childfree (long before I knew there was a word for it!), and she turned on me like a rabid dog. She lit into me with a lecture on how that was the most incredibly selfish thing a person could do, how it was all about self and not about sharing/giving/contributing, how childfree women were aberrant and abhorrent ( ... )

guantanamobabe November 15 2007, 21:18:11 UTC

That's interesting- bringing another human into the world likely won't contribute much to society. However, if you're not busy raising children, you have plenty of time and energy to contribute. Really, I see it the other way around.

7ofclubs November 15 2007, 21:26:25 UTC

However, if you're not busy raising children, you have plenty of time and energy to contribute. Really, I see it the other way around.

Precisely. I do a lot of volunteer work for a lot of different non-profits, and most of the hard-core volunteers don't have children, because obviously they are the ones with more time to give. Often one will get pregnant and next thing you know, they've dropped out of sight, going from working for the benefit of MANY to working for the benefit of ONE.

mgs_naughtycat November 15 2007, 23:18:25 UTC

Well, it IS selfish to decide not to bring a child into the world. I don't want my time sucked away by something that I am not 100% sure that I can stay patient with and not loose my temper at the wrong moment. Its very selfish of me to want to keep my time and my life as free as it is. I see NOTHING in the world wrong with that. Frankly, I'll stick to horses and dogs for a while. At least when things aren't going well, I have the option to remove myself from the situation until I can be in better control of myself to appropriately react. For some reason, thats not so simple when it comes to a child ( ... )

Thread 6