Yes, it IS a bit of a trick to call it up at will, you carrion-breathed syphilitic fly-blown suppurating pustule. Sometimes it pours out unbidden, though.
I used to FUCKING swear a lot till I had a leprous urine-soaked necrophiliac's ejaculate kid and then it was nixed by the cum-licking saggy-titted fungus-toothed grandmothers. Apparently, I FUCKING started again when my daughter was about age 4. I know this because my daughter asked me in her adorable little-girl voice what a *cunt* was one day (after hearing me endearingly and loudly call my husband that). After I told her what it was, I said she really shouldn't call people that as it is considered a swear word and is frowned upon by the general public. I really don't know why though. I have a favorite name for people who piss me off. I call them CowCunts (tm morty
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You had me at "fungus-toothed." That fucking rules.
Holy shit! This is like . . . all these profane comments, it's like Christmas came early and crapped all over my computer room!
I like "cunt." I will use any word as a swearword, whether or not I like the thing itself, but I'm quite fond of the female anatomy. Maybe not mine personally all the time, but they are, in general, adorable little things.
I always thought they sounded a little like a sort of bird. "Oh, look, there's some juncos outside, and some buntings, and oh! A little striped cunt just landed on the sill!"
Divorced from its common usage as the WORST of the words you must never say, it's a really cute-sounding word.
"Cow" is a good word, too. "Silly cow" is a term of endearment to me. But I use it in the sense of "STUPID COW" all the time, because in that context cow = something you EAT. RAAAR!!!
Bang my aching piles with a pineapple, girl, but you're pissing and moaning about the square root of fuck all. Like every ex tempore artform - the blues, fucking, chess - you HAVE to remember the seven Ps - Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.
Have 'em ready, lined up and set to go. Then when occasion demands - or even when it doesn't - light the blue touch paper and then retire.
They say Churchill would stay up all night scripting his off-the-cuff remarks and he's a good example to follow. So when you want to tell the crab-ridden dog-cock-smoking fishfucking baboon-fister who just carved you up in bad traffic to shove his head up a rotting dead donkey's cunt and lick his way out, you're ready.
Just to add to the list of reasons why I rule like a motherfucker, I can swear like that in three languages, and just swear in five others. At last count, I could insult a random stranger badly enough to kick off a bar fight in every single nation of the European Union.
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That certainly qualifies as "genius fucking!"
I want to add that to my interests now.
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THAT'S THE FUCKING SPIRIT, you cock-chocked felcher of backwashed bile!
*bounces happily*
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You had me at "fungus-toothed." That fucking rules.
Holy shit! This is like . . . all these profane comments, it's like Christmas came early and crapped all over my computer room!
I like "cunt." I will use any word as a swearword, whether or not I like the thing itself, but I'm quite fond of the female anatomy. Maybe not mine personally all the time, but they are, in general, adorable little things.
I always thought they sounded a little like a sort of bird. "Oh, look, there's some juncos outside, and some buntings, and oh! A little striped cunt just landed on the sill!"
Divorced from its common usage as the WORST of the words you must never say, it's a really cute-sounding word.
"Cow" is a good word, too. "Silly cow" is a term of endearment to me. But I use it in the sense of "STUPID COW" all the time, because in that context cow = something you EAT. RAAAR!!!
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Have 'em ready, lined up and set to go. Then when occasion demands - or even when it doesn't - light the blue touch paper and then retire.
They say Churchill would stay up all night scripting his off-the-cuff remarks and he's a good example to follow. So when you want to tell the crab-ridden dog-cock-smoking fishfucking baboon-fister who just carved you up in bad traffic to shove his head up a rotting dead donkey's cunt and lick his way out, you're ready.
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*cracks up*
And I'll be adding THOSE to the list! Holy fuck!
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I aspire to that level of polylinguistic profane fluency.
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a Swift Christmas: the
Cratchets eat Tiny Tim, burn
his crutch for kindling
it would be a Wonderful Life
if Jimmy Stewart's
character died
frosty the snowman
lied: he's never coming back.
santa claus is dead
...merry, merry!
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