oh, bleah! i feel extra-bad for not having done more to pull you into things. :/ or at the very least, pulled you aside and let you rant at me for a while halfway through the weekend. :/ i'm sorry for that.
reading this post, it occurs to me that one of the things that may have been going on was people misreading you all weekend: like, moira being so concerned to make sure you got some of the ritual soup because she could tell you were unhappy during the conversation the two of you had about it and she misattributed that to you hearing you might not get any. or me thinking that you were feeling down about thinking you'd had trouble with some of the stuff we did, and so using my comment time to talk about all the hard stuff you did rather than how happy i was to have a friend in the clan. or not realizing that part of what was making you grumpy was lack of sleep!
i totally had warning about the lack of sleep, from dancingwolfgrrl who is also pretty damn proprietary about her sleep minutes, so it was one of the main things she told me about
( ... )
she could tell you were unhappy during the conversation the two of you had about it
Yeah, that was a total mis-read! I wasn't feeling particularly sad or grumpy at all at that point (really, decorating the woods with glow sticks was the most fun I had all weekend!), and I certainly wasn't attached to the idea of soup. In fact, I was leery of the mob scene. ;-) But it was 5:30, and we seemed done, and I wanted to know what the plan was, so I asked if we were going for soup. Her view was probably clouded by hearing about me grumping to Kelly the night before about the disappearance of the promised down-time between trance dance and hike.
though i think in fact moira and duncan sat in the same seats all weekend
Yeah, they did, and so did everyone else, more or less, which I think is not uncommon behaviour. But, as you say, it didn't enable them to "mingle", and I think that's an important part of being a clan leader; important enough to make a deliberate effort to do it.
It may not help, but I want to comment that I have always found the Earthspirit leadership to be cliquey in the extreme. On the one hand, I think they do a very poor job of exactly what you describe, making new people feel welcome and safe (which bodes poorly for community-building, IMO). On the other, I'm not sure to what degree that should be part of the services they provide, and I'm constantly asking myself if they *should* be taking care of me instead of me taking care of myself. I don't know what I would have done in your case, where you weren't given time to take care of yourself. That's pretty serious, I think
( ... )
I don't know what I would have done in your case, where you weren't given time to take care of yourself. That's pretty serious, I think.
Yeah, it was very rough to be in a clan that explicitly holds itself apart from the rest of the community, meaning that you can't connect with whatever friends you have outside the clan, but then also not have the clan leaders make an effort to draw all the members of the clan together. You end up pretty isolated.
I was thinking that next year would finally be the year I applied to Crow, but I'll *really* think long and hard on it.This was Moira and Duncan's last year. And yes, I know they say that every year, but this time it felt like they meant it. ;-) It seems like Kelly will be taking over, and I liked her as a leader much better than I liked Moira. I feel like the cliquey aspect will be much reduced with her at the helm -- but the schedule will stay the same, so the sleep dep probably won't. Oh, although I think we had extra work to do because Wolf didn't run (like, specifically, I think
( ... )
Oh, although I think we had extra work to do because Wolf didn't run (like, specifically, I think they would have been spotting the trance dance instead of us), so that might make a difference in future years.
I'm afraid not; every year Crow has run so far, they've spotted the trance dance!
I'm sorry it didn't rock for you. I was also surprised to learn about the bonus sleep dep the first time I did Crow, and as dilletante alleges, it's also really hard on me, so I have a lot of specific sympathy for that.
Also, having taken a Feri camp intensive with T. Thorn Coyle herself, I can tell you that although I like her and respect what she does, not even she is all that to all people :) No one is, and I think that's ok.
Re: I have nothing to say about magical gatheringsdrwexOctober 14 2009, 20:14:51 UTC
Amusingly, I had placed your birthday in my gcal mere moments before posting that comment so that I might have a better chance of remembering to wish you a prompt happy birthday next year.
When I saw you on that late night on Saturday, you had blackness radiating from your eyes. I was extra-on this weekend - and you were a startling sight, all crackling with unhappiness. You looked like you could have taken two hours of hugging, rather than the few moments than we had then. Likewise, when I saw you the next morning you had a look that... well, if that look was on my face, there would be much sadness in the world thereafter
( ... )
When I saw you on that late night on Saturday, you had blackness radiating from your eyes. I was extra-on this weekend - and you were a startling sight, all crackling with unhappiness.
Ah, yeah, sorry about that. I should remember that my energy is strong and intense to others, even when I think my vitality bar is down to 10%. You seemed like you could take it, though. ;-)
I will say that the lighting work in the woods made for a really incredible experience - so thank you for your part in that.
Yay! My bit was the green-lit path from the road to the second fire and then to the torches by the staircase (I think I'm not really supposed to tell you that, but whatever). I was proud of it. ;-)
I haven't been able to work it all into a post yet.
Make several posts! That's what I did after my first TC.
So, you were doing crow work even before you got there. Much appreciated.Yay! Thanks
( ... )
You were and are correct; I was charged up. That's why I came back and bonked heads with you - to try to give you some of that before I wasted it to sleep.
As far as he knew that pen had magically appeared on the table. And who knows, maybe it had...
There you go. I likewise keep finding these little things post the event that make me go hrmmm...
Comments 17
reading this post, it occurs to me that one of the things that may have been going on was people misreading you all weekend: like, moira being so concerned to make sure you got some of the ritual soup because she could tell you were unhappy during the conversation the two of you had about it and she misattributed that to you hearing you might not get any. or me thinking that you were feeling down about thinking you'd had trouble with some of the stuff we did, and so using my comment time to talk about all the hard stuff you did rather than how happy i was to have a friend in the clan. or not realizing that part of what was making you grumpy was lack of sleep!
i totally had warning about the lack of sleep, from dancingwolfgrrl who is also pretty damn proprietary about her sleep minutes, so it was one of the main things she told me about ( ... )
Reply
Yeah, that was a total mis-read! I wasn't feeling particularly sad or grumpy at all at that point (really, decorating the woods with glow sticks was the most fun I had all weekend!), and I certainly wasn't attached to the idea of soup. In fact, I was leery of the mob scene. ;-) But it was 5:30, and we seemed done, and I wanted to know what the plan was, so I asked if we were going for soup. Her view was probably clouded by hearing about me grumping to Kelly the night before about the disappearance of the promised down-time between trance dance and hike.
though i think in fact moira and duncan sat in the same seats all weekend
Yeah, they did, and so did everyone else, more or less, which I think is not uncommon behaviour. But, as you say, it didn't enable them to "mingle", and I think that's an important part of being a clan leader; important enough to make a deliberate effort to do it.
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Yeah, it was very rough to be in a clan that explicitly holds itself apart from the rest of the community, meaning that you can't connect with whatever friends you have outside the clan, but then also not have the clan leaders make an effort to draw all the members of the clan together. You end up pretty isolated.
I was thinking that next year would finally be the year I applied to Crow, but I'll *really* think long and hard on it.This was Moira and Duncan's last year. And yes, I know they say that every year, but this time it felt like they meant it. ;-) It seems like Kelly will be taking over, and I liked her as a leader much better than I liked Moira. I feel like the cliquey aspect will be much reduced with her at the helm -- but the schedule will stay the same, so the sleep dep probably won't. Oh, although I think we had extra work to do because Wolf didn't run (like, specifically, I think ( ... )
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I'm afraid not; every year Crow has run so far, they've spotted the trance dance!
I'm sorry it didn't rock for you. I was also surprised to learn about the bonus sleep dep the first time I did Crow, and as dilletante alleges, it's also really hard on me, so I have a lot of specific sympathy for that.
Also, having taken a Feri camp intensive with T. Thorn Coyle herself, I can tell you that although I like her and respect what she does, not even she is all that to all people :) No one is, and I think that's ok.
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Oh, huh! Yeah, I guess the year I was in Wolf and we spotted it, Crow wasn't running (two years ago).
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Screech Owl was awesome and not-cliquey and the clan leader was much more lovely to annoying people than i would have managed.
Monkey looked like they were having a TON of fun.
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Monkey *always* looks like they're having a ton of fun! That's most of the appeal, really. ;-)
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I'm sorry Crow sucked for you. I shouldn't go on at length but catch me in conversation about this some time.
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My mother routinely forgot my birthdays. For years it was a (bitter) little joke between us. I have a sad feeling I'm going to do the same to my kids.
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Ah, yeah, sorry about that. I should remember that my energy is strong and intense to others, even when I think my vitality bar is down to 10%. You seemed like you could take it, though. ;-)
I will say that the lighting work in the woods made for a really incredible experience - so thank you for your part in that.
Yay! My bit was the green-lit path from the road to the second fire and then to the torches by the staircase (I think I'm not really supposed to tell you that, but whatever). I was proud of it. ;-)
I haven't been able to work it all into a post yet.
Make several posts! That's what I did after my first TC.
So, you were doing crow work even before you got there. Much appreciated.Yay! Thanks ( ... )
Reply
You were and are correct; I was charged up. That's why I came back and bonked heads with you - to try to give you some of that before I wasted it to sleep.
As far as he knew that pen had magically appeared on the table. And who knows, maybe it had...
There you go. I likewise keep finding these little things post the event that make me go hrmmm...
Reply
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