why cant i hate you? why do i do this to myself? why do i make myself miserable when i know what to do to stop it? i just want to be happy, i want to be with him. why do i forgive so easily, when i've been so wronged? im crying now, dammit. i want to just curl up and die, i want to stop hurting. i want you to stop hurting me, i want him to stop ( Read more... )

This isnt right? Why do I keep thinking this way? It needs to stop, I need to change. I dont know how. I dont want to hurt anyone. I dont want to be the one that hurts. I should be happy, everything is going the way I always wanted it to. Why am I still feeling this way? Worrying only makes things worse for me. My schedule doesnt help much. I just ( Read more... )

So today I am really fucking happy, like everything is finally going really good and I can't find a damn thing to complain about ( Read more... )

Well here I am, did anyone miss me? Didnt think so ( Read more... )

I just don't get it. What is it about me that all my friends think its good fun to give me false hope about calling/hanging out, then they just never do. They 'forget', or something always 'comes up' What is it about me that people cal just so easily forget me, or everything else is so much more important. When I've done nothing but just be there ( Read more... )

hes not mine anymore. thats more evident than ever now. but it still hurts. this isnt how it was supposed to be. we were supposed to make things better, and he was supposed to take me back, he wasnt supposed to do as i asked and decide to take time apart. cuz now he's moving on, and i'm just not ready for that. but i guess i have no choice ( Read more... )

If you want to sleep, I’ll pull a shade ( Read more... )

Well, here we go again. I'm single again. Not sure how I feel about it yet. I've just finished my crying stage, which has lasted me about an hour and a half-ish. I'm going to do my best to be a better person and not slander his name or reputation. I will just say that we were having some major issues, and we both decided that it would be best to go ( Read more... )

Well, it didn't take long. Sometime between 1130pm and 1am my grandma passed away. It hasnt quite hit me yet, I break into tears off and on, but no waterworks yet. I'm just kinda beating myself up about it tho, because she's been in the hospital for 2 weeks now, and not once did I visit her! Everyone else in the family, why couldn't I? Why did I ( Read more... )

So, not too much is new. I have a new job! YAY Denny's. So now I dont have to be too worried about Regal giving me zero hours a week ( Read more... )