It's difficult, almost, to write when it matters most. When something important happens. When decisions of exposition might make someone read into an experience that you want so truly to share- or might make them turn away. You wonder if you should explain how you got there, how much detail should be included, the flavor of the coffee had on the ( Read more... )

Sue revealed to me that she was interested in having me work all summer on her studio inventory....$600/wk...

uhm....WHY DO I LIVE IN QUEENS?

God.

But....I love my apartment.
So much.

Made a watercolor last night that I'm so proud of. I can't wait to give it to my dear friend.

 Well NYU just gave me more scholarship money. Oooh...I must make them a thank you letter.

Negation is underway. I'm playing footsy with oblivion, watching my toes disappear in velvety soup.
Quit smoking. 
Not entirely.
It's not even been a week yet. It's been hard. 
I've been thinking of going on a fast, but I love cheese much too much to do that to myself.
But I am feeling too heavy. Too held back. Stuck in the mud (fat, chocolate, cheese ( Read more... )

 Very much by this Lichtenstein print...Overexposure is a dangerous mode. It glosses over brilliance in the most annoying ways.


( Read more... )

 Sudden urge to spend an obscenely long time in front of a francis bacon painting.

want to put bed in living room, convert this room into a studio..

maybe convert living room into studio some how...

or just use susan's studio...but do I need to? How big am I thinking of working...probably in 24 x 36 range....so not so big.

I want to draw monsters, ( Read more... )

a SCREECHINGly tall man wearing a dusty red velvet vest and absolutely no pants at all, with white hair coming out of his ears, nose and around the top of his eyeballs
WAILED at me as I was nearing the plain of equivalence.
He probably said some important things, but my mind was elsewhere.
The plain was gray.
But not in the literary way.
Not in the ( Read more... )

 I was on my way to the train after class. I put on my headphones, stomped to the train station on Broadway and 8th street, and restarted the song that I had had on repeat before class. Capital G by NIN. It's a good walking through throngs of people song. Anyway, I'm getting very into the song, because it's about George Bush's abysmal failure. The ( Read more... )

 I just dont want to try. I just want to be able to speak. I just want to be effortless. I dont want to try. I am so tired of that. Something must have gone wrong somewhere- I broke speech apart, made metaphors in literealities, described emotions too closely, ached with my mouth and it didnt translate. Or I'm surrounded by people who can't hear me ( Read more... )

Universal frustrations, pains, issues are so irritating because they are so universal.
Who wants to have the same pains over and over.
Who wants to talk about issues that everyone else has. Its like a carousel mirage. You know what you're seeing, you know it's because it's hot and you're thirsty, you are annoyed at yourself for knowing that you are ( Read more... )