One Hundred Essays on the Creative Process (statement of intent, post #001 - critique + emotion)

[myaru]

"One Hundred Essays on the Creative Process" is just a really pretentious way of saying, "I'm going to write a bunch of posts about my attempts to become a better writer." If there's one thing I write about all the time, it's, well, writing. (And me, and myself.) And sometimes the best way to work out a dilemma is to talk about it. I run into

Comments

[seta_suzume]

This is really interesting, myaru!

Whether they're fancy or simple, I look forward to reading more of your creative process posts!

(Being critiqued is painful for me too, more so than being wrong in many circumstances, since it's always (feels) personal)

[myaru]

Looking back at it now, it doesn't feel like it fits the theme. :/ Oh well, I'll find a way.

[hooves]

I am so so so so sick of LJ "timing out" my comments and refusing to post them. ARGH.

[myaru]

Oh god, it wasn't just me, then? I didn't lose any comments, but half the time I tried my f-list wouldn't load.

I felt a little bit like my confession that I hate being wrong and won't look at my story would sound worse than it did. It's comforting to hear what I feel is common, even if I kinda sorta already knew. Like, it's silly to think anything we might feel is unique to us, when there are millions of people out there likely sharing very similar experiences - but it always feels like it's just you, so to speak.

Lately - with this story, I mean - I've gotten good critique. I am grateful to the people who took the time to comment. That doesn't make it any easier to read over it again, though. I'm not sure why distance hasn't helped more.

[starlitlady]

Critique is a double edged sword; it's great to have but it hurts. And the key word in the sentence there is "sword." Critique will always cut the writer, no matter what. I think finding a person/people to be your sounding board will help. Take ideas to them, feel it out, and then move from there. Give your drafts to those people and see what you get. I know it's hard to let in someone to your personal, writing world. For me, my sounding board is my mom. She hears all of my ideas before anything happens. I have a good friend that I also give my work too; she seems to "get" my writing and she can point out what needs work without hurting my feelings. The thing about critique that people always seem to forget is that it's about pointing out what stands out--good and bad. And a lot of times nothing good is said about a work. The good is needed because it lessens the blow.

Also, if you ever want another set of eyes to look at something, let me know. :) I'm a detailed editor but I'm not a douche. XD

[myaru]

I do wish that more people would hold to that principle - that you give the good with the bad, and not just because it softens the blow, but because you have to know what you're doing right, too. You need to see the good things you can build on, not just the bad things you need to change or relearn.

I think people enjoy being harsh (you can be the one in the right), and people also enjoy being able to say they want/can take a harsh critique (because it makes them sound strong and/or mature). But that's not always what you need.

I have so much to say on that, but technically I've said it already. No point in saying it again.

[dawn_felagund]

Hi! *waves* I hope you do not mind me jumping in right away. Your profile said that you write a lot of commentary on fannish and writing stuff, which made me go, "Ooooooh ..." especially since I'm in the process of avoiding a term paper. ;)

for some people being critiqued (or being wrong) is no big deal

I really don't think that's true of most people, actually, and I sure as heck don't want it to ever become true of me! :) I know that sounds strange to say. Getting critique is hard, and I am old enough and experienced enough to know better. I've also been on the editorial side and know that it's not meant personally and that reasons more pragmatic than the quality of a piece go into deciding what gets accepted and what doesn't. I remember once, for example, getting two stories about vegetarians-turned-cannibal right around the same time for a creative journal I was editing for. And both were pretty good stories! I would have liked to have accepted both, but they were so similar that it wasn't possible. So someone got a rejection

[myaru]

Hi! Not a problem. I was about to do the same over at one of your entries. I fully endorse things like using LJ to slack on term papers. XD (So glad I'm not doing those anymore. So gladThis is probably tied up somewhat in my perception of myself, but: it isn't hard to find authors who will say they collect rejection slips like badges of honor (and keep them in a special place, consider them something to be proud of, etc.), and that they just consider it part of their process, and do not let it depress them. While I don't quite believe it - too hard for me to imagine, because rejection bothers me so much - I wonder if maybe it's actually true sometimes. Do years of experience and submissions/publications make it easier to bear up under rejection? Years of critique? It has never gotten easier for me; I just learned how to handle it better. What you say makes sense. What I feel, usually, is that those other people have indeed gotten over their baser writerly instincts and are therefore better than I am

[dawn_felagund]

So glad I'm not doing those anymore. So glad.

Three-quarters done! \0/ Hence, I'm back. ;)

It has never gotten easier for me; I just learned how to handle it better.

I'd say that's true of me as well, as in I'm more self-aware and make decisions accordingly. When I think of my early days in Tolkien fandom (which followed a two-year stint where I "quit writing"--that clearly didn't work! :D) and how I flung something very raw and still very personal to me out to the public, not knowing what kind of response I would receive ... well, I was terrified at the time, but I also doubt I would take that kind of chance now. At the time, I think I just needed to say something and see what happened and if I should continue trying to be a non-writer or if it was worth giving in and going back to it. (I doubt I could have stayed a non-writer forever but maybe the wrong kind of feedback could have given me a few more years of it.) Of course, I fling stuff all the time out to the Tolkien community now, but I know it to be a safe space for me.

[myaru]

Putting something out there in a new fandom space is hard. I usually start with minor stuff (having learned my lesson about posting things that are important to me! hah), and even that's difficult because the community is a big unknown. If the response ended up bad (or even just silent) I'd probably step away too. Being comfortable enough to just throw stuff out there is probably what kept me in my last fandom for so long, when otherwise the experience was starting to go a bit sour. I miss that comfort.

I didn't get much meaningful critique there. (And maybe by fandom standards I didn't need it, although I'm not sure of that by any stretch.) Most of my experience with that came through school, and the critique group I joined last year. Maybe it just hasn't been enough yet.

I feel that the more emotionally invested I am in writing one, the better my workI can agree with that, and see where you're coming from. And I don't want to become detached either, as it has become pretty clear that stories I don't care much about never