call me back when your boyfriend is gone

[musesfool]

Man, there's nothing worse* than a misplaced baby (eta: as in a term of endearment, not an actual, real, live infant) in a sex scene to throw me right out. I mean, I get that it can be endearing or hot in the right circumstances and with the right characters (for values of "right" that equal "circumstances or characters where that works for me"),

Comments

[romanticalgirl]

I thought you meant a "baby" baby, not the calling of the name baby for a minute, and I was all that's ALWAYS CREEPY. But then I figured it out.

[maveness]

LOL That was me too. I was thinking "There's a misplaced baby? Oh god, did they roll over on it or something? Wait, how is having a baby present hot?"

[musesfool]

Hee!

[musesfool]

Ahahahaha! Yes, a real live actual baby in the middle of a sex scenes is CREEPY. I have since edited, because I was obviously not clear enough.

[musesfool]

I hear ya, sister.

I have since edited to hopefully clear up any confusion.

[vaznetti]

I too was imagining the sex scene which was suddenly interrupted by one of the participants saying "Wait! Where did we leave the baby!" Because I took "misplaced baby" completely literally.

[musesfool]

Now, two participants saying, "Wait, where did we leave the baby?!" could be hilarious, but I don't think it could really be hot. Though outside of that limited circumstance, I prefer my sex scenes actual!baby-free.

[vaznetti]

Yes, it could be completely hilarious (provided the baby came to no harm!) but honestly, I have a baby in real life. I do not want one in my sex scenes. That is just the complete opposite of hot.

[musesfool]

I don't have one in real life and I still don't want one in my sex scenes!

[tsuki_no_bara]

"lover" throws me right out of the story. just... you say that to your partner during sex? and you don't expect them to crack up laughing? really? i've probably used "baby", tho, once or twice.... but it seemed to fit at the time and it's not generally a word i love in sex scenes.

"lover" in the summary/blurb turns me off from even starting the story. my dislike of the word is, uh, intense. and possibly irrational.

(and i too at first thought you meant an actual baby and was momentarily confused. i pictured a couple of people getting it on for the first time and suddenly one of them realizes holy shit, there's a crib in the corner with a baby in it!)

[musesfool]

I've definitely used 'baby' on occasion with intent, but any use of lover - it's not usually in dialogue so much as it is in narration - is guaranteed to make me cackle out loud.

i pictured a couple of people getting it on for the first time and suddenly one of them realizes holy shit, there's a crib in the corner with a baby in it!

CREEEEEEEEEPY!

[otherpervert]

Well, no, that's not true - much, much worse than a misplaced baby is and always will be lover. I'm sorry, I just can't stop snickering uncontrollably and hearing, "he's my LOVAAAAAAAH." Completely kills the mood. (with exceptions for where it might be appropriate for characters Of A Certain Age or in historical fiction.)

Ahahahahaha! True dat.

Though, today I read a fic where someone used SOAP as a lube replacement in the shower during a first time anal experience. There was no rinsing after. He used a TON of it the author was sure to elaborate. And then after that he tossed the other guy's salad. I spent the rest of the fic going "Bet he's getting itchy." and "Mmm... soap."

Now, I'm all for proper lubrication (it can throw me out of a fic if it's not there, I believe I ranted on it once), but somehow it's worse if they use something that they really, really shouldn't for lube.

Edited: for make grammer good.

[musesfool]

At least it wasn't honey? Or blood?

[otherpervert]

lol very true. Though I couldn't help but imagine that with soap + thrusting = foaming issue.

Excuse me, it appears your anus has rabies.

[musesfool]

Hee! But bubbles make everything more fun!