Man, there's nothing worse* than a misplaced baby (eta: as in a term of endearment, not an actual, real, live infant) in a sex scene to throw me right out. I mean, I get that it can be endearing or hot in the right circumstances and with the right characters (for values of "right" that equal "circumstances or characters where that works for me"),
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Ahahahahaha! True dat.
Though, today I read a fic where someone used SOAP as a lube replacement in the shower during a first time anal experience. There was no rinsing after. He used a TON of it the author was sure to elaborate. And then after that he tossed the other guy's salad. I spent the rest of the fic going "Bet he's getting itchy." and "Mmm... soap."
Now, I'm all for proper lubrication (it can throw me out of a fic if it's not there, I believe I ranted on it once), but somehow it's worse if they use something that they really, really shouldn't for lube.
Edited: for make grammer good.
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Excuse me, it appears your anus has rabies.
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