I think I finally figured something out

[mseuphrates]

I've been pondering some fairly deep topics lately, deep topics regarding the past, the future, who I am, where I'm going, where WE are going... I've been keeping most of these thoughts fairly close to the vest, wanting to wait until I feel I can express what's rattling around in my brainpan clearly enough for other peole to understand before I

Comments

[miashell]

This.

I am sad we couldn't work out a way to meet when y'all were out this way, because so much of what you share I find connection in.

"Which begs the question, am I back to being afraid that if people actually get to know me face to face, they’ll figure out I’m really some horrible monster who doesn’t deserve friends or love or happiness? And that ‘Yote is just a fluke, or he’s been fooled and eventually he’ll come to his senses too?"

I know this feeling so well- a kind of imposter syndrome.

[mseuphrates]

*hugs* I'm sure we'll manage it eventually, either when we move up that way (yep, we're actually seriously considering a move to Vermont), or at Arisia or Transcending Boundaries - I'm *really* hoping to make it to at least ONE of those next time around. :)

[shaharazad]

Would love to see you at Arisia next year. We're a bit of a hike into Boston, but you're always welcome to stay with us. I will probably be commuting into Arisia.

[vermithrx]

Love is showing up, huh? I'm not skilled at that, yet.

I want to learn the behavior, form its habit, but am at a loss as to how.

[mseuphrates]

Oh dearheart, you do pretty darn well.
Honest.

In fact, I think it's pretty darn cool that my best friends right now? The people I hang out with the most (besides that guy I live with)?
Are the three of you.

Love you SO much.
*hugs*

[leshyaedawnfire]

And you'll always have us. No matter what happens, We'll always be there. And you know why? Because we love you Haha-ue!

[mseuphrates]

*big smooshy hugs*

I love you too, Babydoll!

[fallconsmate]

Oh, how I wish I could take you in my arms and tell you that there *are* lasting friendhips, but in my range of experience there are not. (I didn't take your post personally, it reads like a "barometer check" to me

[luscious_words]

*hugs* The best piece of advice on the self-acceptance I can offer is to take that one step at a time. It won't happen overnight and there is no miracle fast track to get there

[lovewithoutfear]

"Friends come and go like waves on the shore. Some come and linger on the shore with you. Some roll back out with the tide then return. And some simply roll back into the ocean never to return again. For me, what makes them friends vs. people who are friendly is how much or deeply they touched my life."

Wow. Yes. This. Thank you.

[luscious_words]

Glad it resonated with you.

[fallconsmate]

Oh yeah, and keep at the zombie brain hamsters. (you keep killing them and they come back? Zombies. Or cats with their bazillion lives.)

remember, you are Loved.