Oh the mood

[mrsmaynard]

Sad day...can't shake the sad, it stuck to me like static cling. I have been sitting around this house for 3 entire months, doing nothing, I need to get out, to walk, to jog, to swim, to be active old me cause I am not losing the post partum weight, I did the first two weeks, then it started slowly coming back..there is no excuse anymore, there is

Comments

[melissa_jewell]

I'm sorry today was another super rough day. i want to say i know its hard but i cant.. I dont know. i'm one of those moms you hate because i have my baby and i bitch about it and probably do not appreciate her enough. it kills me to read your journal entries because i can't imagine not having Lily. I hardly remember a time before I had her, as strange as that may be since it's only been 2 months. This might sound really odd but even though your entries usually make me cry, I'm glad I read them because it makes me realize just how lucky I am to have my daughter and how wonderful being a crabby sleep deprived, sex deprived, time to myself deprived mother really is. You are still a mom, even if Evan isn't here with you, you are still his Mommy and that will never change. I am mostly rambling now, but I just want to say that I applaud you for being as strong as you are through all of this. I don't think that I would be doing nearly as well as you are in this sort of situation. I hope that isn't the wrong thing to say.

[mrsmaynard]

No worries, I in no way hate any mom's for having their babies sweetie, not at all, sure I think why should everyone else get perfect healthy babies when I didn't, but I would never hate someone or wish harm upon them, ever ever ever, cause I wish I was in your shoes and I would never want to someone to curse me for being so.
However, if I can help people realize just how lucky they are and appreciate motherhood and their babes just a bit more then I have done something very grand indeed. Babies are a magical gift and so easily things can go wrong, so a healthy baby is truly a gift indeed. But dont even think you can't vent or feel a certain way cause we are all human and can only live in our current realities.

Take care, Be well, and please keep on reading cause it's nice to know I have support. :) hugs.

[melissa_jewell]

oh know you dont really hate people for having babies... it was just my way with words :)

[anonymous]

you have a lot of support. silent, be some of it, but supported you are, very, very supported. we are here, if you know it or not. I'm sure there are a lot like me. Silent witnesses to your pain. But we are here. Listening. Waiting for your next words. You have no idea how many people you are touching by writing about Evan. I wish you still had your baby, but I am always glad when you have written something new. It means you are still here with us, surviving the worst thing I could ever think of. I can't understand why this happened to you. And, I am sorry. But please keep writing and letting us know there is a way through this fog of depression you feel. I am very encouraged by your words, and only wish I could write something so you understood how many people care about you, and wish you peace. all my love goes to you and your baby's father. I know Evan misses being with you as much as you miss him being here with us. We all love Evan, and only hope he knows how much he is missed.

[mrsmaynard]

Thank you! Very nice of you.