Funny how he missed the part where I didn't ask for his permission. I'm staying. I'll get out when I feel like it unless he decides to be a little more forceful. Forceful in the sense of him firing a bullet into me, not swinging a gun at me. He looks easy to disarm, it wouldn't sway me.
Taking his line of work into consideration, I should believe that he's planning on shooting me if I don't get out. Oddly enough, I don't buy that for a second. I don't think he has the balls to shoot someone who poses no threat to him for the time being. And a female someone, nonetheless. His professional lack of concern for my existence aside, it always has an effect on men when they're told to take out one of those.
They get depressed knowing that if they accomplish their mission one less woman will exist to be fucked. Madsen may know that I'm not interested, but its obvious that he sees me as a woman. He called me a chick when he answered the door.
I can use that.
"Just because they're cool with each other for
( ... )
"And don't tell me you wouldn't regret walking away every day of your life if you did it."
I wouldn't regret it if he survived. The way things are now, if we stick together neither one of us is going to make it. At least if we go our separate ways the odds won't be against us so much. Sam's right, we did great back there. We took them all out.
Now that they know what we're capable of, they're just going to try harder. More manpower, bigger bombs, whatever it takes to get the job done. That's how I was trained, and I'm willing to bet its how Sam was trained too.
I know it would be hard to move past this on our own, but I think we could. I would miss Sam, but at least I would know that I did the right thing. Staying with him would be selfish, and it would get him hurt.
I think I've hurt him enough for one lifetime with all this crap, I really do.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone.""Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what
( ... )
"Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what would happen."
"You don't know that."
For all we know, it could be me. And that's not even the point. She doesn't know for sure that's what's going to happen to us. She's assuming the worst because it looks bad.
Usually, that's my job. I assume it's all going to go to hell, and I bolt before anything could happen.
So if I'm the one who thinks we can make it for once, shouldn't that say something too?
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?""Wouldn't we be looking over our shoulders no matter what we did?" There's that, too. What difference does it really make? At least, if we're together, we won't be miserable in the process
( ... )
"... And even if it was true, you wouldn't be dying for me. They're still coming for us. No matter what we do, no matter how we do it, alone or together."
Our odds of making it are still better if we split up. He can't just deny that because he doesn't like how it sounds. Its the truth. And we weren't even that great at working together. We just barely made it out alive this time.
If they want to waste their time and their resources chasing after us, they should have to at least suffer the inconvenience of splitting up their teams to get us both. I put in a lot of hours, and I want to at least cause that much trouble for them.
"Our chances are still shit no matter what, and the likelihood that we're going to wind up dead is still there no matter what, and all this is going to do is make us fucking miserable."Miserable, but alive for longer. He keeps making sure to skip over that part! And the look he's giving me is just, damnit. Its the eyes. When Sam gets upset like this, they're the only thing that really clues me in to what he
( ... )
"Why can't I? Because you think I'll be miserable?"
She will be. We both will be. And it won't work for us as well as she thinks it does. She's not doing either of us any favors, and it'll probably wind up just getting the both of us killed anyway.
So tell me where the benefit is, Carly.
"News flash, Sam. Being married to you made me pretty fucking miserable for a long fucking time."There was nothing I could do about that. ... I meant, there was, but... She was doing the same thing
( ... )
"You know what? I don't fucking understand what the hell you're trying to do. I... I mean, you know what that was about. And you were doing the same exact thing, and I still want to stick with you. I love you, and I would fucking die for you, Carly."Congratulations, Sam. You just hit on the one thing that scares me a lot more than the three hundred people who are going to come after us now
( ... )
She can't pull back from talking like she was, and act like it's not true. All this shit about loving me, and then she goes this cold? No goddamn way she shouldn't have just shot me and gotten it over with.
I handed it to her. If that's supposed to be meaningless, then she should have pulled the trigger.
"This isn't the same thing."
"It's exactly the same fucking thing, Carly. You're saying you want to be done with me, shooting me really would have solved the issue. If you don't care now, you should have killed me then. But since you didn't, I don't know, I guess you'd be right and we're probably just wasting time here."
.... I hate thinking this way.
It's pretty logical, as far as I can tell. It's how we've been trained to think, and I'm thinking that we're both pretty good at it. Only now, one of us is turning out to be a hell of a lot better than the other.
"If you do care now," I hope you do. "And this is all... I don't know, because you're scared of what's going
( ... )
Funny how he missed the part where I didn't ask for his permission. I'm staying. I'll get out when I feel like it unless he decides to be a little more forceful. Forceful in the sense of him firing a bullet into me, not swinging a gun at me. He looks easy to disarm, it wouldn't sway me.
Taking his line of work into consideration, I should believe that he's planning on shooting me if I don't get out. Oddly enough, I don't buy that for a second. I don't think he has the balls to shoot someone who poses no threat to him for the time being. And a female someone, nonetheless. His professional lack of concern for my existence aside, it always has an effect on men when they're told to take out one of those.
They get depressed knowing that if they accomplish their mission one less woman will exist to be fucked. Madsen may know that I'm not interested, but its obvious that he sees me as a woman. He called me a chick when he answered the door.
I can use that.
"Just because they're cool with each other for ( ... )
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I wouldn't regret it if he survived. The way things are now, if we stick together neither one of us is going to make it. At least if we go our separate ways the odds won't be against us so much. Sam's right, we did great back there. We took them all out.
Now that they know what we're capable of, they're just going to try harder. More manpower, bigger bombs, whatever it takes to get the job done. That's how I was trained, and I'm willing to bet its how Sam was trained too.
I know it would be hard to move past this on our own, but I think we could. I would miss Sam, but at least I would know that I did the right thing. Staying with him would be selfish, and it would get him hurt.
I think I've hurt him enough for one lifetime with all this crap, I really do.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone.""Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what ( ... )
Reply
"You don't know that."
For all we know, it could be me. And that's not even the point. She doesn't know for sure that's what's going to happen to us. She's assuming the worst because it looks bad.
Usually, that's my job. I assume it's all going to go to hell, and I bolt before anything could happen.
So if I'm the one who thinks we can make it for once, shouldn't that say something too?
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?""Wouldn't we be looking over our shoulders no matter what we did?" There's that, too. What difference does it really make? At least, if we're together, we won't be miserable in the process ( ... )
Reply
Our odds of making it are still better if we split up. He can't just deny that because he doesn't like how it sounds. Its the truth. And we weren't even that great at working together. We just barely made it out alive this time.
If they want to waste their time and their resources chasing after us, they should have to at least suffer the inconvenience of splitting up their teams to get us both. I put in a lot of hours, and I want to at least cause that much trouble for them.
"Our chances are still shit no matter what, and the likelihood that we're going to wind up dead is still there no matter what, and all this is going to do is make us fucking miserable."Miserable, but alive for longer. He keeps making sure to skip over that part! And the look he's giving me is just, damnit. Its the eyes. When Sam gets upset like this, they're the only thing that really clues me in to what he ( ... )
Reply
She will be. We both will be. And it won't work for us as well as she thinks it does. She's not doing either of us any favors, and it'll probably wind up just getting the both of us killed anyway.
So tell me where the benefit is, Carly.
"News flash, Sam. Being married to you made me pretty fucking miserable for a long fucking time."There was nothing I could do about that. ... I meant, there was, but... She was doing the same thing ( ... )
Reply
Reply
"It's fucking true."
She can't pull back from talking like she was, and act like it's not true. All this shit about loving me, and then she goes this cold? No goddamn way she shouldn't have just shot me and gotten it over with.
I handed it to her. If that's supposed to be meaningless, then she should have pulled the trigger.
"This isn't the same thing."
"It's exactly the same fucking thing, Carly. You're saying you want to be done with me, shooting me really would have solved the issue. If you don't care now, you should have killed me then. But since you didn't, I don't know, I guess you'd be right and we're probably just wasting time here."
.... I hate thinking this way.
It's pretty logical, as far as I can tell. It's how we've been trained to think, and I'm thinking that we're both pretty good at it. Only now, one of us is turning out to be a hell of a lot better than the other.
"If you do care now," I hope you do. "And this is all... I don't know, because you're scared of what's going ( ... )
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