"You know what? I don't fucking understand what the hell you're trying to do. I... I mean, you know what that was about. And you were doing the same exact thing, and I still want to stick with you. I love you, and I would fucking die for you, Carly."
Congratulations, Sam. You just hit on the one thing that scares me a lot more than the three hundred people who are going to come after us now.
I couldn't handle it if he died for me. It would be better if we just separated and never had contact with each other ever again, because at least that way I would know that I did what I could. I kept him out of harm's way as much as I was able to, and anything that happened after that...
Yeah, that would be almost as bad as losing him while we're together. I know that. Sam may think I'm being cold about this, but they blew up our house. We're wearing bowling uniforms. The only thing that's left for them to take from me is him, and while I personally wouldn't mind dying to be with him, the fact that Sam feels the same way is something I don't want to have to worry about.
"I'm sorry for lying to you. I really... I can't even say how much. I wish we hadn't pulled all this bullshit on each other. But I seriously think we're meant to stay together."
...
There's nothing that I can say to that. He knows that if I could go back, I would have told him the truth when I met him Rio. Getting out would have been easier back then, and I love my job, but I love Sam more. I think that goes without saying.
Doesn't it?
"Can you seriously tell me you don't feel that way at all?"
Alright, I guess it doesn't after all. Maybe its better if I go with it.
"Because if you did, you should have taken the fucking shot."
"Sam, come on, don't talk like that."
Even when I thought I really wanted him dead, I didn't. I just wanted him to be himself again. And that might not help us here, but its...I don't know. Regardless of what happens next, I think he should understand that taking the shot was never really an option for me.
Everything that I'm saying is because I want to keep him alive, not finish him off. I'd really like it if we could just never talk about the fucking shot ever again. We pushed each other to the edge, that's all it was about.
"This isn't the same thing."
This is the opposite. I don't care what he says. He's crazy if he thinks I'm trying to hurt him.
She can't pull back from talking like she was, and act like it's not true. All this shit about loving me, and then she goes this cold? No goddamn way she shouldn't have just shot me and gotten it over with.
I handed it to her. If that's supposed to be meaningless, then she should have pulled the trigger.
"This isn't the same thing."
"It's exactly the same fucking thing, Carly. You're saying you want to be done with me, shooting me really would have solved the issue. If you don't care now, you should have killed me then. But since you didn't, I don't know, I guess you'd be right and we're probably just wasting time here."
.... I hate thinking this way.
It's pretty logical, as far as I can tell. It's how we've been trained to think, and I'm thinking that we're both pretty good at it. Only now, one of us is turning out to be a hell of a lot better than the other.
"If you do care now," I hope you do. "And this is all... I don't know, because you're scared of what's going to happen? Then you're making a mistake, and living longer by doing it isn't going to change the fact that it's going to be hell to get through."
At least, not as far as I can tell.
And I need to hear one way or the other. Right now, while we're standing here, because if she really doesn't give a damn about me... Maybe I should get out of here after all.
If she doesn't love me enough for us to stay together, then I'm just going to go. There's no reason to stay if she really doesn't want me around.
"But I need to know which one it is. Alright? I need you to look me in the eye, and tell me for sure, without any hesitation or trying to make it nicer than it is and easier on me."
For better or worse.
... And now is really the wrong time to be getting reminded of wedding vows.
Congratulations, Sam. You just hit on the one thing that scares me a lot more than the three hundred people who are going to come after us now.
I couldn't handle it if he died for me. It would be better if we just separated and never had contact with each other ever again, because at least that way I would know that I did what I could. I kept him out of harm's way as much as I was able to, and anything that happened after that...
Yeah, that would be almost as bad as losing him while we're together. I know that. Sam may think I'm being cold about this, but they blew up our house. We're wearing bowling uniforms. The only thing that's left for them to take from me is him, and while I personally wouldn't mind dying to be with him, the fact that Sam feels the same way is something I don't want to have to worry about.
"I'm sorry for lying to you. I really... I can't even say how much. I wish we hadn't pulled all this bullshit on each other. But I seriously think we're meant to stay together."
...
There's nothing that I can say to that. He knows that if I could go back, I would have told him the truth when I met him Rio. Getting out would have been easier back then, and I love my job, but I love Sam more. I think that goes without saying.
Doesn't it?
"Can you seriously tell me you don't feel that way at all?"
Alright, I guess it doesn't after all. Maybe its better if I go with it.
"Because if you did, you should have taken the fucking shot."
"Sam, come on, don't talk like that."
Even when I thought I really wanted him dead, I didn't. I just wanted him to be himself again. And that might not help us here, but its...I don't know. Regardless of what happens next, I think he should understand that taking the shot was never really an option for me.
Everything that I'm saying is because I want to keep him alive, not finish him off. I'd really like it if we could just never talk about the fucking shot ever again. We pushed each other to the edge, that's all it was about.
"This isn't the same thing."
This is the opposite. I don't care what he says. He's crazy if he thinks I'm trying to hurt him.
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"It's fucking true."
She can't pull back from talking like she was, and act like it's not true. All this shit about loving me, and then she goes this cold? No goddamn way she shouldn't have just shot me and gotten it over with.
I handed it to her. If that's supposed to be meaningless, then she should have pulled the trigger.
"This isn't the same thing."
"It's exactly the same fucking thing, Carly. You're saying you want to be done with me, shooting me really would have solved the issue. If you don't care now, you should have killed me then. But since you didn't, I don't know, I guess you'd be right and we're probably just wasting time here."
.... I hate thinking this way.
It's pretty logical, as far as I can tell. It's how we've been trained to think, and I'm thinking that we're both pretty good at it. Only now, one of us is turning out to be a hell of a lot better than the other.
"If you do care now," I hope you do. "And this is all... I don't know, because you're scared of what's going to happen? Then you're making a mistake, and living longer by doing it isn't going to change the fact that it's going to be hell to get through."
At least, not as far as I can tell.
And I need to hear one way or the other. Right now, while we're standing here, because if she really doesn't give a damn about me... Maybe I should get out of here after all.
If she doesn't love me enough for us to stay together, then I'm just going to go. There's no reason to stay if she really doesn't want me around.
"But I need to know which one it is. Alright? I need you to look me in the eye, and tell me for sure, without any hesitation or trying to make it nicer than it is and easier on me."
For better or worse.
... And now is really the wrong time to be getting reminded of wedding vows.
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