I can't believe Carly did this after all that son of a bitch put her through. No, that's a lie. I can completely believe that Carly did this, I just can't believe that I'm going after her idiot husband's idiot friend to help figure this out so that she doesn't get herself killed.
People in my line of work aren't exactly supposed to be seen talking with the enemy. We're supposed to shoot first, and ask questions later when the family comes to I.D. the body. That's how its always been done, and thats how I should be doing it now. Instead I actually want to fucking talk to the fucking buddy, which makes me really fucking stupid or really fucking lovesick.
Whichever one it is, I'm still doing it.
"Hang on a second."
Oh, isn't that just spectacular? He's going to go call his agency while I stand out here and worry, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it because the only thing I have on me is a well hidden knife.
That just makes my entire week complete, doesn't it?
"You're the crazy lesbian chick, right?"Look at that, he'
( ... )
"Then start thinking, dude. I really don't want to see you dead.... And just because it wouldn't be a cool thing for him... You too."
That is one extremely high fucking road that Madsen is trying to take with her. I wonder if he knows that she's wearing a look pretty similar to the one she had on when she broke up with me. Carly may be a lot of things, but sometimes, she's just obvious.
But who could fault her for that? She married the enemy. All of her coworkers are going to come after her and try to take her out. Its kill or be killed now that they've caught her with Sam. And he has finally succeeded in ruining Carly's professional career.
Just like I said he would. Though I have to say, I thought this would end with a baby, not a bullet.
"And while you're doing that, I'm going to call people and see what's up, okay?"
"Okay."This is pathetic on a level that's funny as hell, but Carly looks like she wants me to get out of here so...I'll stare at him for a second while I commit it to memory, and then find something to do
( ... )
I'm not the only one who's noticing that there's clearly something wrong here. Ontop of what Madsen just did, which is incredibly freakin' unlike him, I haven't seen Lauren look this smug in ages.
And I'm thinking my guess as far as what's wrong was right after all.
So... I'm in trouble here. A lot of trouble.
I don't know what to do about that.
I looked at Carly for a long minute, reading some things in how she looked that I really didn't like. And it worried me. More than worried me, it actually scared me a little.
Doing this without her... I can't even picture it. At all. I don't know where I'd go, what I'd do, how the hell I'd keep from getting killed on my own, any of it.
I just don't know.
"I'll help."
She's just saying that because Carly wants her to go. Which... I'm really thankful for.
"I don't want to be in here for this."How nice of you
( ... )
Thanks, Lauren. Make the unnecessary statement before you sneak off to listen in on the other side of the wall. Really, be a wise ass while my marriage is falling apart. It can't get much worse than this anyway. If we were dead, it would be over.
I don't want to die, but its true. If we had slept right through the bomb, we would be the assassins equivalent of Romeo and Juliet. And Madsen would be disappointed to lose his best friend, but he would still get to say that he called it when we were in high school.
We thought he was crazy back then, yet look where we are now.
"So."...I don't think Sam and I have ever really been married. I mean, I know I love him. I know he loves me. Its just, there's more to it than that. We never communicated honestly, never went and did anything that we said we were going to do. Most of the things we did as a couple I hated, so I know there was no truth to any of that. This whole time, all these years, we've been lacking in follow through
( ... )
... I guess I can't avoid it anymore. Come on Carly, if you're leaving me, at least give me a couple of minutes of meaningless conversation.
"We have to talk."
Or not.
Christ, I really don't want to do this. And I can feel Madsen trying not to listen in the other room while he's on the phone. But I can't hear either one of them getting close to the door, so I guess they really are repsecting the situation.
Or maybe they just know we'll hear it if they decide to listen in.
I really don't want to talk right now.
"I love you, but I think..."
Oh God, isn't this subtle.
"I think if we stayed together now we would be making a mistake."
And there it is.
So what do I say? She's most of the way to making up her mind, I can see it. I can see her convincing herself that she's making the right choice.
I, of course, think she's wrong. Really wrong. I think we did fine getting out of the house today, and we could do fine after this. We're a good team. We fit. It's how it's supposed to be
( ... )
"And don't tell me you wouldn't regret walking away every day of your life if you did it."
I wouldn't regret it if he survived. The way things are now, if we stick together neither one of us is going to make it. At least if we go our separate ways the odds won't be against us so much. Sam's right, we did great back there. We took them all out.
Now that they know what we're capable of, they're just going to try harder. More manpower, bigger bombs, whatever it takes to get the job done. That's how I was trained, and I'm willing to bet its how Sam was trained too.
I know it would be hard to move past this on our own, but I think we could. I would miss Sam, but at least I would know that I did the right thing. Staying with him would be selfish, and it would get him hurt.
I think I've hurt him enough for one lifetime with all this crap, I really do.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone.""Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what
( ... )
"Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what would happen."
"You don't know that."
For all we know, it could be me. And that's not even the point. She doesn't know for sure that's what's going to happen to us. She's assuming the worst because it looks bad.
Usually, that's my job. I assume it's all going to go to hell, and I bolt before anything could happen.
So if I'm the one who thinks we can make it for once, shouldn't that say something too?
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?""Wouldn't we be looking over our shoulders no matter what we did?" There's that, too. What difference does it really make? At least, if we're together, we won't be miserable in the process
( ... )
"... And even if it was true, you wouldn't be dying for me. They're still coming for us. No matter what we do, no matter how we do it, alone or together."
Our odds of making it are still better if we split up. He can't just deny that because he doesn't like how it sounds. Its the truth. And we weren't even that great at working together. We just barely made it out alive this time.
If they want to waste their time and their resources chasing after us, they should have to at least suffer the inconvenience of splitting up their teams to get us both. I put in a lot of hours, and I want to at least cause that much trouble for them.
"Our chances are still shit no matter what, and the likelihood that we're going to wind up dead is still there no matter what, and all this is going to do is make us fucking miserable."Miserable, but alive for longer. He keeps making sure to skip over that part! And the look he's giving me is just, damnit. Its the eyes. When Sam gets upset like this, they're the only thing that really clues me in to what he
( ... )
"Why can't I? Because you think I'll be miserable?"
She will be. We both will be. And it won't work for us as well as she thinks it does. She's not doing either of us any favors, and it'll probably wind up just getting the both of us killed anyway.
So tell me where the benefit is, Carly.
"News flash, Sam. Being married to you made me pretty fucking miserable for a long fucking time."There was nothing I could do about that. ... I meant, there was, but... She was doing the same thing
( ... )
"You know what? I don't fucking understand what the hell you're trying to do. I... I mean, you know what that was about. And you were doing the same exact thing, and I still want to stick with you. I love you, and I would fucking die for you, Carly."Congratulations, Sam. You just hit on the one thing that scares me a lot more than the three hundred people who are going to come after us now
( ... )
She can't pull back from talking like she was, and act like it's not true. All this shit about loving me, and then she goes this cold? No goddamn way she shouldn't have just shot me and gotten it over with.
I handed it to her. If that's supposed to be meaningless, then she should have pulled the trigger.
"This isn't the same thing."
"It's exactly the same fucking thing, Carly. You're saying you want to be done with me, shooting me really would have solved the issue. If you don't care now, you should have killed me then. But since you didn't, I don't know, I guess you'd be right and we're probably just wasting time here."
.... I hate thinking this way.
It's pretty logical, as far as I can tell. It's how we've been trained to think, and I'm thinking that we're both pretty good at it. Only now, one of us is turning out to be a hell of a lot better than the other.
"If you do care now," I hope you do. "And this is all... I don't know, because you're scared of what's going
( ... )
People in my line of work aren't exactly supposed to be seen talking with the enemy. We're supposed to shoot first, and ask questions later when the family comes to I.D. the body. That's how its always been done, and thats how I should be doing it now. Instead I actually want to fucking talk to the fucking buddy, which makes me really fucking stupid or really fucking lovesick.
Whichever one it is, I'm still doing it.
"Hang on a second."
Oh, isn't that just spectacular? He's going to go call his agency while I stand out here and worry, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it because the only thing I have on me is a well hidden knife.
That just makes my entire week complete, doesn't it?
"You're the crazy lesbian chick, right?"Look at that, he' ( ... )
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That is one extremely high fucking road that Madsen is trying to take with her. I wonder if he knows that she's wearing a look pretty similar to the one she had on when she broke up with me. Carly may be a lot of things, but sometimes, she's just obvious.
But who could fault her for that? She married the enemy. All of her coworkers are going to come after her and try to take her out. Its kill or be killed now that they've caught her with Sam. And he has finally succeeded in ruining Carly's professional career.
Just like I said he would. Though I have to say, I thought this would end with a baby, not a bullet.
"And while you're doing that, I'm going to call people and see what's up, okay?"
"Okay."This is pathetic on a level that's funny as hell, but Carly looks like she wants me to get out of here so...I'll stare at him for a second while I commit it to memory, and then find something to do ( ... )
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And I'm thinking my guess as far as what's wrong was right after all.
So... I'm in trouble here. A lot of trouble.
I don't know what to do about that.
I looked at Carly for a long minute, reading some things in how she looked that I really didn't like. And it worried me. More than worried me, it actually scared me a little.
Doing this without her... I can't even picture it. At all. I don't know where I'd go, what I'd do, how the hell I'd keep from getting killed on my own, any of it.
I just don't know.
"I'll help."
She's just saying that because Carly wants her to go. Which... I'm really thankful for.
"I don't want to be in here for this."How nice of you ( ... )
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Thanks, Lauren. Make the unnecessary statement before you sneak off to listen in on the other side of the wall. Really, be a wise ass while my marriage is falling apart. It can't get much worse than this anyway. If we were dead, it would be over.
I don't want to die, but its true. If we had slept right through the bomb, we would be the assassins equivalent of Romeo and Juliet. And Madsen would be disappointed to lose his best friend, but he would still get to say that he called it when we were in high school.
We thought he was crazy back then, yet look where we are now.
"So."...I don't think Sam and I have ever really been married. I mean, I know I love him. I know he loves me. Its just, there's more to it than that. We never communicated honestly, never went and did anything that we said we were going to do. Most of the things we did as a couple I hated, so I know there was no truth to any of that. This whole time, all these years, we've been lacking in follow through ( ... )
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... I guess I can't avoid it anymore. Come on Carly, if you're leaving me, at least give me a couple of minutes of meaningless conversation.
"We have to talk."
Or not.
Christ, I really don't want to do this. And I can feel Madsen trying not to listen in the other room while he's on the phone. But I can't hear either one of them getting close to the door, so I guess they really are repsecting the situation.
Or maybe they just know we'll hear it if they decide to listen in.
I really don't want to talk right now.
"I love you, but I think..."
Oh God, isn't this subtle.
"I think if we stayed together now we would be making a mistake."
And there it is.
So what do I say? She's most of the way to making up her mind, I can see it. I can see her convincing herself that she's making the right choice.
I, of course, think she's wrong. Really wrong. I think we did fine getting out of the house today, and we could do fine after this. We're a good team. We fit. It's how it's supposed to be ( ... )
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I wouldn't regret it if he survived. The way things are now, if we stick together neither one of us is going to make it. At least if we go our separate ways the odds won't be against us so much. Sam's right, we did great back there. We took them all out.
Now that they know what we're capable of, they're just going to try harder. More manpower, bigger bombs, whatever it takes to get the job done. That's how I was trained, and I'm willing to bet its how Sam was trained too.
I know it would be hard to move past this on our own, but I think we could. I would miss Sam, but at least I would know that I did the right thing. Staying with him would be selfish, and it would get him hurt.
I think I've hurt him enough for one lifetime with all this crap, I really do.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone.""Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what ( ... )
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"You don't know that."
For all we know, it could be me. And that's not even the point. She doesn't know for sure that's what's going to happen to us. She's assuming the worst because it looks bad.
Usually, that's my job. I assume it's all going to go to hell, and I bolt before anything could happen.
So if I'm the one who thinks we can make it for once, shouldn't that say something too?
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?""Wouldn't we be looking over our shoulders no matter what we did?" There's that, too. What difference does it really make? At least, if we're together, we won't be miserable in the process ( ... )
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Our odds of making it are still better if we split up. He can't just deny that because he doesn't like how it sounds. Its the truth. And we weren't even that great at working together. We just barely made it out alive this time.
If they want to waste their time and their resources chasing after us, they should have to at least suffer the inconvenience of splitting up their teams to get us both. I put in a lot of hours, and I want to at least cause that much trouble for them.
"Our chances are still shit no matter what, and the likelihood that we're going to wind up dead is still there no matter what, and all this is going to do is make us fucking miserable."Miserable, but alive for longer. He keeps making sure to skip over that part! And the look he's giving me is just, damnit. Its the eyes. When Sam gets upset like this, they're the only thing that really clues me in to what he ( ... )
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She will be. We both will be. And it won't work for us as well as she thinks it does. She's not doing either of us any favors, and it'll probably wind up just getting the both of us killed anyway.
So tell me where the benefit is, Carly.
"News flash, Sam. Being married to you made me pretty fucking miserable for a long fucking time."There was nothing I could do about that. ... I meant, there was, but... She was doing the same thing ( ... )
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"It's fucking true."
She can't pull back from talking like she was, and act like it's not true. All this shit about loving me, and then she goes this cold? No goddamn way she shouldn't have just shot me and gotten it over with.
I handed it to her. If that's supposed to be meaningless, then she should have pulled the trigger.
"This isn't the same thing."
"It's exactly the same fucking thing, Carly. You're saying you want to be done with me, shooting me really would have solved the issue. If you don't care now, you should have killed me then. But since you didn't, I don't know, I guess you'd be right and we're probably just wasting time here."
.... I hate thinking this way.
It's pretty logical, as far as I can tell. It's how we've been trained to think, and I'm thinking that we're both pretty good at it. Only now, one of us is turning out to be a hell of a lot better than the other.
"If you do care now," I hope you do. "And this is all... I don't know, because you're scared of what's going ( ... )
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