The moment Boz decided to use those tumblers on stage, I knew there'd be trouble. And there was ( Read more... )

I do like playing unusual locales on my tours. Grimsby is a triumph, with a name like that. I very wittily asked "Who put the 'grim' in Grimsby?" as I sauntered on-stage. It's just as well we didn't play Scunthorpe ( Read more... )

...my new album is rather good.

You didn't know I can play the violin, did you? I'm on the fiddle, fiddling about, having a fiddle... etc. etc ( Read more... )

Tee-hee! I know what my tour dates are!

You don't!

Tee-hee-hee!

Today I dropped my calzone when Gary jumped out at me from behind a pillar in the catacombs, dressed as a ghost. I'm sure the hotel chambermaids will have something to say about there being eye-holes cut into one of their sheets, not to mention there being a quantity of tomato sauce smeared on it from my poor calzone.Honestly, you can't take these ( Read more... )

I'm sure it is now obvious to you why I decided to record my new album in Rome: there are plenty of fantastic places that vend gelato.

We're very busy, as you can imagine, topping up our suntans working on the album. Things seem to be fairing tolerably, and it's great to be working with dear old Alain once again ( Read more... )

Does anybody know where I put my Speedos?

I've just got back from Homebase. I was looking at some tiles for my new 'gaff'. I'm not sure whether to go with blue-with-a-hint-of-turquoise, or turquoise-with-a-hint-of-blue.

The final decision may well depend on how well they go with my eyes.

I'm also wondering if a musical doorbell that plays 'Frere Jacques' might be a bit too lower-middle

Oh, what an absolute shower! (as Terry-Thomas might say. If he was still alive, that is ( Read more... )