Poor old man
Oh, what an absolute shower! (as Terry-Thomas might say. If he was still alive, that is.)
I had assumed a cunning, yet stylish, disguise to mooch round Manchester, and then lots of newspapers are mean to me for looking old. My old-man-farmer hat perfectly conceals my quiff, and those rubbish old spectacles I keep for emergencies (such as having an eye infection preventing me from wearing contact lenses, or nuclear war) seemed to be perfect. But no. They spotted me anyway, and then said I looked old and miserable.
Is it any wonder I look miserable when I'm chased about by people who are mean to me?
I'm sure you want to know why I'm here in dear old Blighty. But I'm not going to tell you. Though I must admit, it's quite a change here, what with Noah-like deluges of rain whereas in my neck of the woods in the US, there's a heatwave of such violence that people have died. Sadly those that died weren't gossip columnists: I shall have to conjure up an alternative way to be rid of them.
I had assumed a cunning, yet stylish, disguise to mooch round Manchester, and then lots of newspapers are mean to me for looking old. My old-man-farmer hat perfectly conceals my quiff, and those rubbish old spectacles I keep for emergencies (such as having an eye infection preventing me from wearing contact lenses, or nuclear war) seemed to be perfect. But no. They spotted me anyway, and then said I looked old and miserable.
Is it any wonder I look miserable when I'm chased about by people who are mean to me?
I'm sure you want to know why I'm here in dear old Blighty. But I'm not going to tell you. Though I must admit, it's quite a change here, what with Noah-like deluges of rain whereas in my neck of the woods in the US, there's a heatwave of such violence that people have died. Sadly those that died weren't gossip columnists: I shall have to conjure up an alternative way to be rid of them.