from the book of genesis ( Read more... )

what drives me? i think most people are driven by either fear or hope. when i was a kid, i used to be deathly affraid of the second coming of christ or judgement. it coupled me to the religion of my family for fear that i would be cast into eternal shame ( Read more... )

do i feel a malice toward god because i feel abandoned in emotional equalibrium,

or do i feel abandoned by unrequited emotion because i believe god is malicious?

i feel very alone now.

This is how it feels to be rotten
Blacked out so I don't know how I got here
This is how it feels to be haunted
Anxious, never whole, and always wanting

I am just a stain in god's collection

How does it feels to be so bland
Shut up in your self like in a coffin
Your heart pumping ash and sand
Shut up in my head like a mad man

I just got home from a SEVENTEEN hour day, only to find a 'post it' note from our company accountant on some of my mail that I had left in the office saying that the office was not to be used for personal use, and that otherwise i should be sharing the rent for the office ( Read more... )

"If i let these things go, I will end up falling back in the grave I burried them in".

today is my birthday, and i had to work a twelve and a half hour day moving furniture with a sprained wrist.
i dont think i would ever be happy if i didnt have something to complain about.
it was nice to hear from some people, and although i didnt get a chance to celebrate today, tomorrow night me and some friends will be raising some hell.

hey ( Read more... )

shake the ache in callous wake.

the mind is soft and cannot blink.

form and function,

form to be the way the function wants to see,

and what you see is not the same.

it sees the day, day and night are weeds in

the garden of the obscene,

and home to what we believe.

no more rest will fill out what is planted

in the heart of our gardens.