How Will I Know 1/1

[moviegeek03]

Title: How Will I Know
Beta: samjsjlove
Pairing: J2
Word Count: ~11,100
Rating/Warnings: M for sexual situations; MPREG
A/N: This is the fifth installment of my tattooed Jensen verse which originated from a prompt/manip from fatebegins. imogen-lily used her original manip in the lovely banner. Title is from the Whitney Houston song of the same name.
Summary: While Jared is still recovering from the lingering effects of his accident and trying to make it through his pregnancy, an old flame of Jensen’s turns up. He’s everything Jared isn’t…punk and rock and roll in all the ways Jensen is. It’s easy to see why Jensen fell for him…it just isn’t easy for Jared to deal with.

Jared’s body protested painfully as something hit against the deep bruising on his hip. He awoke with a gasp, moving away from whatever it was. Or whoever as it turned out to be. With a sigh, he moved his daughter onto Jensen’s now empty side of the bed. Jen had a meeting this morning so had left not too long ago. Jared needed to get up and moving himself, but the idea really wasn’t all that appealing…

Jared groaned softly and gently pushed himself up in bed. He grabbed a few pillows to place around Clary so she wouldn’t roll off the bed without him there. She was exhausted after yesterday. It had been a big day for her, and Jared couldn’t help but smile a little as he remembered the way her face lit up at the party she had had then.

He tried to stifle a yawn that turned into another gasp as the baby moved a little in his stomach. “Hey buddy,” Jared said, rubbing his bump a little and hobbling towards the hallway. His hip was a bit better than it had been three weeks ago when the accident occurred, but it still hurt. There had ended up being more complications than he had expected…namely the fact that the bruises had ended up causing bleeding in the surrounding tissues that had to be drained.

It all left him feeling extremely drained himself…

Being pregnant the first time around had always left him tired. But it was about a hundred times worse now thanks to the accident and the fact that his classes were even harder this time around. Yes, JD had been great and gotten all his professors to let him do his coursework online, but that didn’t mean that it was any less difficult. The baby moved again, as if trying to prove to Jared that he was awake and ready for the day.

“I know it buddy. Daddy’s up…I’m up…even if I don’t want to be…”

Jared slowly made his way down the stairs, holding onto the rail for extra support. He felt his hands shake a little against the wood of it. He knew that wasn’t good, but didn’t know if was from his tiredness or just the exertion of it all. Either way, it wasn’t good.

“Crap,” Jared huffed as the family room and kitchen came into view. They were both still a disaster zone from the party yesterday. With all the kids running around and the adults just trying to keep them from barreling into the Christmas tree Jensen had set up, no one had felt much like cleaning. Which meant it was all still a mess…

Jared cleared off a space at his desk and sunk into the comfortable chair. He rested his head on his arm on top of the table as he looked around at the daunting mess. Today was not going to be a good day. He would have to take care of this mess, get Clary dressed, make it to campus, and somehow find the time to get a few more Christmas present bought and wrapped. With a groan Jared let his head slip off his arm and bang against the tabletop.

“You know I don’t think I’ve ever literally seen someone do a ‘head desk’ before.”

Jared jumped, nearly falling out of his chair. Once he righted himself, he looked up to see Ellie standing there. "Huh...well stick around and I'm sure you'll see me do it a few more times today." He straightened up some but groaned out in pain. "Son of a bitch..."

"Oh Jay," Ellie said softly. She walked over to him and rubbed his back. "Maybe you should head back to bed for the day, sweetie."

"I wish," he scoffed. "But I need to clean the house so it will no longer look like a bomb went off in here."

"The kids did go a little overboard last night."

"Was Clary's Birthday...she's supposed to be able to."

Ellie smiled. "Ok...but I still don't think you should be out of bed cleaning."

"Even if I didn't have to clean, I'd still be up. Have to finish an essay and send it in. And told JD I'd make it in today to go over my classes for next semester. And I-"

"How about we compromise," Ellie interrupted. "You go back to bed and I'll clean."

"I can't do that to you. You have the boys and-"

"Donna is with them. She wants to take the boys and Clary shopping for us today."

"I forgot," Jared sighed.

"Not surprised sugar."

"I'll go get her ready and-"

"Your ass better stay down here or be heading up to bed, mister."

"But I-"

"Let me help you, Jared. You need it, whether you want it or not. You're still hurting. I can tell. You just had that blood drained last week with that big needle."

Jared shuddered at the mere mention of it. "God! Don't remind me of that. That was traumatic enough..."

She ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. "I know sweetheart. Hate that you had to go through that. But you still need to rest."

"Can't today...too much to do. But...you can help. I'd really appreciate it. That way I can edit my essay now and head to campus earlier than I expected."

"Jay," she scolded. "You need rest and-"

"And if I go to back to bed I won't be able to get back out. I need to stay moving or I won't be able to get going again. It's one of those days," he admitted quietly.

"Fine. I'll go wake Clary..."

"Don't think you have to now." Jared smiled at his sister-in-law as he heard little footsteps on the stairs.

A few seconds later, Clary poked her head into the room. Her hair curled out in various directions and Nala hung limply in her grasp. She frantically looked around until her gaze locked on Jared. She then bolted towards the chair and carefully climbed onto his lap. Her tiny arms wrapped around him as best as they could and she buried her head in his chest.

"Well good morning to you baby girl." Jared kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. He realized she was shaking against him. "Honey, what's wrong?"

She sniffled into her sleep shirt and turned her head so that she could speak. But she never moved her arms from their place around him.

"You were gone."

"I came downstairs to get some work done while you slept sweetie."

Clary nodded and loosened her grip so that she could put her hand on Jared's stomach. She'd taken to doing that now that it had popped out more. She had also started to pretend it was a hill for her moose to climb, just as little Aidan had done with his Simba when Jared was pregnant the first time around.

"But I thought you were gone...like before."

Jared smiled sadly. Jensen and he were starting to realize just how hard she had taken him being in the hospital for those few days.

"No baby. Daddy just came downstairs. I'm ok."

"Good," Clary declared fiercely. "Don't want you going back to that icky place ever again!"

Jared inwardly groaned. "Clary, I don't like being there...being away from you. But sometimes it's necessary." He placed his hand over hers on his bump. "Like whenever your brother decides he is ready to meet you. Then I'll need to go back to that icky place because that's where the doctors are that will take good care of me and your brother."

Clary pouted a bit as tears welled in her eyes.

Jared leaned down and presses his forehead to hers. "But I won't be there forever. And you will be able to come see me and the baby."

"Promise?" Clary held out her pinky.

Jared smiled at his daughter before wrapping his pinky around hers. "I promise." He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tightly. “Love you sweetheart.”

“Love you too, Daddy,” she replied, voice muffled against his chest.

He gave her another kiss on the forehead. “Now, why don’t you go with Aunt Ellie to get dressed? Your grandma Donna wants to take you and the boys out to buy Christmas presents.”

“Can I see Santa?” She pulled out the puppy dog eyes.

“You’ve already seen him with me and Papa,” Jared laughed. She continued to give him the eyes. “You’ll have to ask your grandmother but I’d say she won’t care.”

“Yay!” With that Clary took off back up the stairs. Ellie shook her head and hurried to follow after her niece. Jared took a shaky breath and leaned back into his chair so that he could get to work on editing his paper, even if he did feel more like going back to bed.

He tried to adjust himself in the chair, but he had little success. His hip was starting to ache from the position; he knew he had to push through it for now though. If he took his laptop up to bed or over to the couch, either of which would feel amazing right now, he knew he would instantly fall back asleep. He couldn’t afford that right now.

He was pulled away from his work for a moment when Clary hopped down from the last step and scurried over to him. She was now in a black and red sweater with black jeans and boots. Jensen would definitely approve; Jared smiled at the thought of it.

“Don’t you look pretty, sweetheart,” he said to his daughter as she came back over towards him.

“Thank you, Daddy! Can I have waffles before I go?”

“Your grandmother is taking you kids out for breakfast,” Ellie answered as she came back into the room. “I’m sure she can find you somewhere with waffles baby girl.” Ellie picked Clary up and held her over towards Jared so she could give him a hug and kiss. “I’ll take her over to Donna…then I’ll be back to clean up for you.”

“Thanks Ellie.” He soothed back a few errant curls from Clary’s face. “Be good and stay close to your grandma. Don’t wander off or-“

“I know Daddy! I’m a big girl now! I’m four now!” She was so proud of that number that Jared had to do everything within his power not to laugh at her enthusiasm.

“I know…you won’t let me forget it,” he teased. “Have fun, Clary.” He gave her another kiss before Ellie took her over to her house where Donna was waiting with the boys.

Jared turned back to his laptop and began editing once more. He’d done so much research on the topic that it should have been a breeze, but he felt himself nodding off once more at his desk. It gradually became harder and harder to stay awake as he worked. Before he knew it, Ellie was shaking him awake and a few hours had passed…all of which he’d spent asleep.

“Mmm…damn,” he groaned. “Why’d you let me sleep?” He rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly.

“Because you needed it and you’re too stubborn to admit it.”

Jared blinked up at her, also noticing that the house looked significantly cleaner. “I’m fine…but thank you for cleaning.”

“Of course. Go get cleaned up and I’ll make you breakfast.” She saw Jared start to protest and put a finger to his lips. He pouted and licked at it, making her squawk in surprise. “Ew…anyway…your paper is perfect. It always is so don’t even try to argue. Go…shower…clothes…food…”

“Fine,” Jared sighed. He stood slowly from his chair, wincing a little at the dull ache in his hip. He moved towards Ellie and gave her a peck on the cheek before trudging back upstairs to change. He carefully stripped off his sweats so he could shower. His eyes briefly lingered on his stomach before settling on the bruises along his hip. They were slowly starting to fade, but still remained a deep yellow color for now.

He gently poked at it and winced as the pain flared almost instantly. He was hoping that would have gone away by now. The baby moved gently in his stomach and he looked back towards it. There wasn’t a single bruise on it. It was something he could be thankful for at least…

After his shower, he came back downstairs to find Ellie standing over his printer with a stapler in her hand. Once he reached her side, he could also see that she had a thick stack of papers.

“What’s that?” he asked as he attempted to smooth his hair down in place.

“Your paper,” she replied, stapling everything together for him.

“But I still needed to proofread and-“

“And you’ve forgotten I majored in English and worked in the writing center back in college.” She handed him the stack and smoothed down a section of hair he missed. “I went through and proofread everything. I fixed a few typos. It looks good, kid. Now stop panicking!”

Jared’s face softened and he gave her another kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, El, for everything.”

“Of course, Jay.” Ellie reached over to shut down the printer. “Do you need a ride to campus?”

“No…I’ve got my car. I’m allowed to drive. Jim said it was fine.”

“Are you sure? I could drop you off at the door so you don’t have to deal with…with traffic…”

With crazy drivers who text while behind the wheel and run red lights while you are walking across the street…

Jared bit his lip. He knew what she meant. He could see the words written across her face. “I have to do it, Ellie. Not going to do me any good if I put it off. No point in being afraid forever.”

“But I-“

“I know, and I appreciate it. But I’m fine.” He put on his best smile and gave her a quick hug. “I’ll be careful. I promise.”

Ellie bit at her lip for a moment as well. “Text me when you get to JD’s office please.”

He nodded solemnly and headed out to his car. As soon as he turned the engine over, the speakers began to blare the notes to the chorus of “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Jared genuinely smiled at that. Clary and Jensen had taken his car out a few days ago to pick up dinner, and obviously the two had had a mini jam session while on the road if the volume of the music was any indication. He turned it down a little but left it playing as he drove towards campus. It helped to calm his nerves immensely.

He didn’t start to get anxious until he parked in one of the student lots across the street from the psychology building. Jared's hands started to shake as he got out of his car and started towards the crosswalk. His anxiety and his injury made him move slowly when all he wanted to do was cross as quickly as he could. Once he reached the light, he pressed the button and waited for the walk sign. Cars whizzed by as he waited, blowing back his hair and sending small shudders through his body. He was thankful there wasn't anyone else there to see it.

After a few moments, the streetlight turned red and the walk sign appeared. Jared took in a shaky breath and watched as the cars all slowed to a stop. Part of him wanted to just stay there and not cross...but he knew that wouldn't do him any good. The sign began counting down the seconds he had left to cross. He took another breath and hurried across the street as fast as he could.

He reached the other side with a few seconds left on the countdown. He was shaking like a leaf and completely out of breath. His hip ached dully. But he had made it.

He jumped a little when he felt a slender hand rubbing his arm. He turned to see Gen smiling sympathetically. "Hey, take a deep breath. You're ok." She pulled him towards a nearby bench and urged him to sit.

"Th-thank y-you."

She squeezed his shoulder. "First time being back since the accident?"

He nodded. She sat with him for a minute while he calmed down. "Thanks Gen."

She squeezed his shoulder again. "Come on...I'll walk with you. I've got to drop some paperwork off at the clinic."

“How has it been at the center?”

“Good,” Gen said softly. She linked her arm with Jared’s while they walked. “We all miss you.”

“I miss you all too. But don’t think I’m going to be back ‘til after New Years. Sorry to-“

“Don’t apologize, Jay. None of this is your fault.”

“I still hate it,” Jared sighed.

“I know it. You’ll get back into it all soon enough. Besides, there are things more important than work.” Her arm brushed up against his stomach. “Like you and this little guy here.” A broad smile stretched across her face. “So it’s a boy this time?”

“Yeah,” Jared replied with a huge smile of his own.

“That’s exciting!” Gen practically bounced as she talked and walked beside him.

Her excitement helped to make Jared much more relaxed. “It really is. I was kind of secretly hoping for a boy…and not just because Jensen was so vocal about his beliefs that it would be another girl. It will be nice to have one of each.”

“So how is Jen taking it? Still mourning his incorrect prediction?”

Jared barked out a laugh. “Not as much now. I think we were both just happy to have the baby be ok after everything. I mean, he pouted a little but not for long. We’re actually discussing names and all now.”

“Ooh…I want to hear!”

They turned up the walkway of the psychology building. “Well,” he paused to open the door for her, “we think we have a first name but not sure on a middle name yet.” They both started for the elevator. “We are thinking William…Will.”

“That’s a good name,” Gen replied as they reached their floor. She leaned up to give him a quick peck on the cheek, her hand settling at his stomach. “You’re gonna need bigger clothes soon…”

“Mmm,” Jared groaned. “Don’t remind me. I still have some clothes from my first pregnancy but I’m going to have to get some more…”

“Give me a call sometime. I’ll take you shopping when you’re feeling up to it.”

“After the holidays…that would be nice. Thanks again…for you know…calming me down.”

“Any time, Jay. I’ll call you later!” With that, Gen took off towards the clinic doors while Jared headed towards JD’s office, happy to have some of the anxiety from earlier finally dissipate.

************

Jared pulled into the diner’s parking lot next to Josh’s SUV. His stomach growled rather loudly as he cut the engine on his car and carefully pulled himself out of the car. His hip gave a twinge of pain despite his slow movements. With a sigh he walked towards the restaurant and towards Josh and Jensen’s regular booth.

Jensen had his back to him, so Jared shot Josh a look, hoping his brother in law would remain quiet as he approached. Once he was beside his husband, Jared leaned down and kissed him on the head before settling next to him in the booth. Jensen startled but soon smiled widely at the sight of Jared.

“Hey!” Jensen exclaimed, pulling Jared in close to him. “I thought you were stuck on campus this morning for meetings and stuff?”

“JD didn’t want me to stay too long so he made it short.” Jared all but melted into Jensen’s side. “I knew you’d be here so I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Mmm…you know I love surprises.” Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared’s lips, sucking softly at the flesh.

“You two do know I’m still here right?” Josh sighed.

“Kill joy,” Jensen grumbled towards his brother. He then looked back at Jared. “How’d you know we’d be here?”

“You two always come here for lunch after you have morning meetings.”

“He is right, you know,” Josh said. He took a sip from his coffee mug and smiled at the couple across from him. He was about to continue talking when Jared’s stomach growled once more. “Well someone is definitely hungry…I’ll grab us a waitress.”

“Sorry,” Jared blushed. “I…I didn’t really get to eat this morning.” He wrapped his arms around his stomach, hoping it would stop it from growling again, but of course it did not. He was starving. He knew skipping breakfast wasn’t a great idea earlier, and he was definitely paying the consequences of it now.

“You didn’t eat?” Jensen asked softly, his brow furrowed with worry. “Jay?”

Jared bit his lip as his face reddened even more. “Um…no I didn’t. I, um, didn’t feel like it really.”

Jensen raised his eyebrow at that and frowned. “Jay you have to eat! It’s not good for you!”

Jared was perfectly aware of that, especially since he felt dizzy and had been sporting a pounding headache for awhile now and-

“Your hands are shaking,” Jensen said softly, taking them into his own.

Jared bit his lip. “I was anxious…about…well…being on campus; crossing that street…”

“Babe,” Jensen started, “I would have pushed my meeting back and taken you so you didn’t have-“

“I needed to, Jen,” Jared sighed. “I can’t have you taking me to campus every time I need to go just because I’m afraid of a damn crosswalk…”

“It isn’t just any crosswalk. You-Wait a minute!” Jensen turned towards Jared in their seat. “If you didn’t eat that means you didn’t take your meds!”

“Um…Jen…haven’t been taking those for awhile now.”

“But-“

“I hated how they made me feel. And they aren’t great for the baby. I’m fine. My hip is just sore if I move the wrong way.” It was mostly true at least.

Before Jensen could continue their argument, Josh returned with their waitress so they could order. Jared picked something randomly off the menu, not really caring, so that he would stop feeling so awful. The waitress took their menus and brought Jared a water before heading back towards the kitchen.

“So how’d the meeting go?” Jared asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Went great!” Josh replied excitedly. “Granted…I didn’t figure it would go any other way seeming as how we already know how much the guy likes Jen.” Jared furrowed his brow and Jensen kicked Josh under the table. “Ow!”

“What’s he talking about?” Jared asked, smiling a little as Josh scowled at his baby brother and rubbed his shin.

“I…well I used to be friends with the guy. You remember me telling you about Wes?”

The waitress came over and set their plates down in front of them. Jared snatched a few French fries from Jensen’s plate. “Not really,” he muttered out around them.

“Oh…swore I mentioned him before.” Jensen picked up his sandwich, almost as if he was using it to hide behind. “Well, we were just friends back in college.” Jensen punctuated the sentence with a halfhearted shrug.

“Just friends?” Josh barked out, not realizing Jensen’s discomfort. “Pretty sure you guys were more than just friends, bub.”

Jensen blushed and kicked at his brother once more. Josh acted shocked and cried out in pain again.

“Jen, stop beating up on your brother,” Jared said.

“I dated Wes for a little while a long time ago. It doesn’t mean a thing…that I’m working-“

“Jen, I don’t care if your client is someone you used to date. Isn’t like I don’t trust you.”

“Thanks, Jay.” Jensen smiled at that and started to dig into his food.

Jared started in on his own, ignoring the nagging feelings in his stomach about this Wes guy. He chalked it up to the anxiety he had felt earlier still lingering…

************

Jensen flopped down hard onto the bed. He’d been working for hours on the concept art for Wes’s website in hopes of getting it all finished before Christmas. His vision was blurry from staring at his computer screen for so long and his hands ached from working on all the tiny details in Adobe. His computer chair had made his back sore on top of everything else.

The door opened across the room to reveal Jared sliding into the room. His sweatpants were slung low on his hips where his stomach was growing and pushing them down farther. His t-shirts were starting to become too tight as well.

“Hey,” Jensen called sleepily from the bed. “Clary get to sleep ok?”

“Out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Between her party yesterday and the excitement of the mall today…she was pretty worn out.”

“Thank God,” Jensen sighed happily.

Jared chuckled as he climbed onto the bed next to his husband. “My thoughts exactly.” He carefully laid down beside Jensen, angling his face near the other man’s so he could press a deep kiss to Jensen’s mouth. They both moaned at the sensation of it. Jared pressed down a little more on Jensen. Jensen’s hands started to roam up and down Jared’s side, barely pushing up Jared’s thin shirt. The motion revealed the still healing bruises along his hip.

Just like that, everything slammed back onto Jensen and he pulled away, scared of hurting his husband or unborn son. He ran his hand through Jared’s hair, trying not to focus on the confused look his husband was sporting. “Think…think we better slow down for the night,” he finally said after a few moments of silence. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty exhausted. Think we should just get some sleep.” Jensen was extremely grateful his statement ended in a yawn.

“Oh…of course, Jen. I wasn’t thinking about how long you’d been up and all.” Jared leaned down and pressed one last kiss to his lips. “You have to get up early tomorrow too?”

“Yeah,” Jensen sighed. “I promised Wes I’d meet him for breakfast and show him my design ideas. You should come with me.”

“I don’t know…I hate bothering you when you’re working.”

“You wouldn’t be bothering me. Josh can’t make it…he’s meeting with another potential client. So it would be nice to have you come along. Besides, Wes mentioned wanting to meet you after I started telling him about you and Clary.”

“Really?” Jared raised his eyebrow at that.

“Yeah…I mean…before we dated Wes was actually a really good friend. I think he just wants to see how happy I am.” Jensen leaned over and gave Jared another kiss before turning off the lights. “Night babe.” He snuggled into the pillows, not into Jared. He was still worried about hurting Jared in some way.

Jared bit his lip as he saw Jensen turn his back to him and curl into his pillows rather than curl into his husband. Jensen had been doing that more and more lately. Jared hated it, and he couldn’t figure out why Jensen was shying away from him. With a sigh, Jared gave up for the night and curled into his pillow as well.

“Night…”

He closed his eyes, hoping for sleep. It didn’t come. Instead, he spent half the night going over things in his head…everything from Jensen to the baby and back to Jensen. At some point in the middle of the night, he managed to fall into an uneasy sleep that lasted until the morning.

Jared awoke with a start as the alarm clock blared to life next to him. He fumbled half-heartedly at the blasted device, nearly knocking it off before Jensen finally shut it off for him. Jared sat up in bed a little so that he could see Jensen was already showered and dressed, standing next to the bed.

“Morning,” Jared yawned loudly. “How’d you get up ‘fore me?”

“Alarm went off earlier like it was supposed to,” Jensen chuckled. “But you slept through it so I figured I’d get a shower and let you sleep a little longer.” Jensen gave Jared a peck on the cheek. “Also got Clary up and took her over to Ellie.”

“Why’d you take Clary to Ellie?” Jared rubbed at his face tiredly but pushed himself further up on the bed.

“Because we’re supposed to meet Wes for breakfast, remember? I told you about it last night.”

Jared nodded slowly. He remembered…he just didn’t remember agreeing to go. But it did seem as if Jensen really wanted him there…

“Oh, of course,” Jared replied, trying to sound enthusiastic. “I just have to get dressed. Just…give me a few minutes.”

“Take your time. I need to go over my designs one last time before we head out anyway.” With that, Jensen left the bedroom and headed towards his office.

Jared sighed and flopped back on the bed in frustration, even though it did cause a twinge of pain to run through his hip and made him curse under his breath. After a few seconds it subsided so that he could hurry to the bathroom to get dressed. As much as he really didn’t want to go meet one of Jensen’s exes, he would because Jensen had seemed so excited about showing off his family…

For that very reason, Jared found himself sitting at the same diner he had been at yesterday. But this time, he was with Jensen waiting on Wes to show up. They’d been sitting for a few minutes now, Jared sipping at a glass of orange juice while Jensen greedily gulped down coffee. Jared tried his hardest not to glare at it in envy.

Jensen glanced at his watch before motioning for the waitress to bring him another cup of coffee. Jared sighed and leaned back in his seat. Wes was supposed to have been there ten minutes ago. Part of Jared was starting to hope he wouldn’t show. Wasn’t like Jared cared one way or the other…no…not at all…

“Jenny!”

Jensen perked up in his seat a little and waved in the direction in which the voice had come; Jared followed Jensen’s line of sight until his eyes fell on the guy. Jared couldn’t help how his mouth fell open a bit at the image…

The guy, Wes Jared assumed, was a fairly well built guy. He looked to be just a few inches shorter than Jared, a little closer to Jensen’s height. His hair was spiked in various directions with blue and purple tips at the ends. He was dressed in black skinny jeans and a dark purple and grey striped v-neck t-shirt. A scratched up motorcycle jacket protected him from the December air, but he slipped it off once he was at their table. Once again, Jared had a hard time keeping his mouth from gaping open.

Peeking out from under the shirt were tattoos…a lot of tattoos. It looked as if the guy had just as many, if not more than Jensen. They weren’t as vibrant as Jensen’s though. Most of them were gray and black or on their way to faded out to drabber version of what they were intended to be. They were by no means ugly, but they just weren’t as breathtaking as Jensen’s had been the first time Jared saw him.

“Jared?” Jensen said, startling him.

“Huh?” Jared asked as he jumped back in his seat. Wes had his eyebrow raised at him but Jensen was smiling brightly. “Yeah…sorry…must have zoned out.” Jared bit his lip nervously.

“You ok?”

Jared just nodded. “What were you saying?”

Jensen’s smile widened. “Wes, this is my husband Jared.”

“Hi,” Wes greeted. The man stuck his hand out so Jared could shake it. Jared immediately noticed the dark polish coating his fingernails. “Feel like I know you already after Jensen spent half the meeting going on about you and your daughter.”

Jared couldn’t help but find that funny since he didn’t know much about Wes at all. “Yeah,” he said anyway. “Jensen has a tendency to go on about us. Sorry about that.” Jared mustered up the best smile he could.

Jensen slung an arm around Jared and pulled him against his side. “Can’t really blame me though! You two are pretty damn awesome.”

Jared rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. Jensen pulled out his iPhone to show pictures to Wes. Most of them were of Clary at her party, but Jensen just loved showing her off to people.

“Starting her young I see,” Wes teased when Jensen showed a picture of Clary with her tiny skateboard, the same one Jensen had insisted she was old enough for now.

“It’s perfect for her!” Jensen exclaimed excitedly. “It has this handle bar thing that connects to the board so she can learn how to balance. The wheels adjust too for that. Then as she gets older, I can move the wheels and remove the handle thingy and she will have a real skateboard! She’ll be doing tricks in no time!”

“Just like you,” Wes said, nostalgia leaking into his voice.

“As long as she doesn’t fall and break her leg like you did last year,” Jared sighed.

Wes barked out a laugh. “What about you Jay? You into skating?”

“God no!” Jared replied. “I’m clumsy enough when my feet are firmly on the ground, sadly.”

Wes laughed again before continuing on about various skateboarding tricks and things with Jensen. Jared tried to keep up, but he ended up getting lost somewhere between ollies and flips. He spent most of the time just nodding and digging into his omelet. It wasn’t his ideal way to spend the morning, but Jensen seemed to be happy he was there and that was all that mattered.

Once he was finished with his food, Jared excused himself to the restroom. The baby -Will- had apparently decided that Jared’s bladder made a comfortable pillow. He wasn’t gone for too long, but on his way back to the table he caught pieces of Wes’s conversation.

“Jay seems nice,” Wes started, “but he’s not at all what I would expect you to end up with, Jenny. I mean, he doesn’t skate and he doesn’t have tats?!?”

“He has a tat,” Jensen laughed. “He just has to have one that he can cover for his job and school.”

“Still…with as much time as you spent sniffing around the skate parks and the tattoo parlors back in college, never though I’d see you settling in with a clean cut kind of guy having the 2.5 kids…”

Wes was right…Jared knew that. He didn’t fit Jensen’s type. He’d always known that. But seeing Jensen just shrug at Wes’s words sent a jolt of emotion through Jared and forced him back to the bathroom so he could compose himself for a moment. It unfortunately made him miss Jensen’s response.

“Maybe back then…but it’s different now. I grew up a lot when Josh started having his kids, especially when Aidan was born with Down’s. I was suddenly an uncle and trying to be what I needed to be to them. And the type of guys I was finding at the skate parks and tattoo parlors just weren’t what fit the lifestyle I was starting to have. So when I met Jared, it just…clicked. We didn’t plan on having the kids and marriage and all…but it just felt right when it started happening.”

Wes nodded slowly. “Fair enough.” He took a long drink from his coffee mug. “You two seem happy together. That’s all that matters.”

“What matters?” Jared asked quietly as he returned to the table.

“Catching up with old friends,” Wes lied, seeing Jensen already blushing from his previous gushing. “Speaking of, you should totally come check out my shop and park soon! Both of you!”

“Thanks for the offer,” Jared replied sincerely. “But I’d say I’ll sit that one out. Pregnancy and skateboards don’t mix…I mean, me and skateboards don’t really either but add in the fact I’m pregnant…and well…”

Jensen chuckled and leaned over to give Jared a peck on the cheek. “You’re always adorable when you ramble.” Jared blushed deeply. “And when you blush.” He gave Jared another kiss before turning back to Wes. “Thanks, man. I’ll have to check it out soon.”

Jared plastered on a smile and pushed down the desire to bang his head repeatedly against the tabletop. Jared ended up blocking out a lot of the remainder of brunch. Jensen and Wes went back and forth more about tattoos and skate tricks. It continued on long after their meals were finished and the breakfast crowd had cleared out of the diner.

“Well,” Wes sighed, “I’ve gotta head into the shop. I’ve got some artists coming in who specialize in custom boards. I want to see if any of them are interested in working with the shop. But we’ll have to get together again…I definitely want to show you around!”

Jared just nodded and smiled politely. Jensen was more enthusiastic and interested of course. Jared didn’t care though. They were leaving and he didn’t think he could be more thrilled at the idea of going home and spending the rest of the weekend with Jensen and Clary.

At least he was until the following morning…

Jared looked up from his cup of tea to see Jensen stumbling into the kitchen. He looked sleepy but was dressed in casual clothes and had his hair gelled up into spikes a little. He blinked his eyes against the sun streaming through the window as he made his way over to the coffee maker.

“Wow! Jensen Ackles awake before noon on his day off!” Jared exclaimed with overemphasized awe. “Should I alert the media or call a doctor or-“

“Shuddup,” Jensen mumbled, smiling a little into his mug. He walked over to the table and pressed a kiss to the top of Jared’s head. “Clary still asleep?”

“Yeah…it’s still pretty early and she was up late watching movies with us last night. Figured I should let her sleep a little longer.”

“Sounds good. You want me to fix you breakfast before I head out?”

Jared furrowed his brow. “Head out? Where are you going to?”

“Wes’s…remember? He invited us?”

“Oh,” Jared sighed. He tried not to let it show how disappointed he was. He’d been hoping for a lazy Sunday with Jensen and Clary…and maybe something more exciting with Jensen once Clary was in bed that night.

“Yeah…you up to going with me?”

Jared bit his lip. “No thanks. Skateboards and me don’t really mix. But I appreciate the offer, babe. I’ll stay here with Clary and get some wrapping done.” He plastered on another smile. “Maybe we can do something together tonight.” He tried to make his voice sound slightly more suggestive than he normally did.

“Oh course! We can totally put on a movie again or something. We can do one of Clary’s favorites.”

Jared mentally cursed. “Sounds great.”

“Alright…you sure you don’t want something to eat?”

“Naw…go on. I’ll grab something with Clary here soon.”

“Ok.” Jensen downed the rest of his coffee. “Do you remember where I put my skateboard? I wanted to try out some of the ramps and rails Wes installed.”

“Um…it’s in the hall closet I believe.” Jared glanced out the window to see the winter wind blowing the bare trees. “You do realize it is the middle of December and you will likely freeze your ass off skating?”

“I won’t!” Jensen called from the hallway, his voice muffled where he was digging through the closet. “I’ll have my sweatshirt on and all! YES!” He returned a second later waving his board in the air. “Found it!”

Jared laughed. “I can see that Sherlock.”

Jensen pouted but leaned over to kiss Jared nonetheless. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Ok,” Jared replied. With that, he watched Jensen slide a sweatshirt over his head and walk out the door. The Impala’s engine revved to life outside and pulled out of the driveway. Jared just stared down into his tea, no longer really wanting to finish it. Instead, he got up from the table after a few moments and moved to his desk. He figured he might as well get some work done before Clary woke up…

He managed to catch up on some emails and backlogged paperwork he owed Sam. He knew he should go ahead and start inputting data for the study he was working on with JD, but before he could open up the program, he heard the soft padding of feet above his head. Despite still feeling a little upset from earlier, he smiled and decided to go upstairs to his daughter.

“Hey Sleeping Beauty,” Jared greeted as he walked into Clary’s bedroom. She was already out of bed and playing on the floor with a few of her stuffed animals. Jared sat down carefully next to her and pulled her onto his lap. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Good, Daddy.” She settled happily into his chest. “How’s the baby?”

Jared chuckled. “Will’s good…think he’s getting hungry though.”

“Do you think he’d like waffles?” Clary asked hopefully.

“Hmmm….I think that Will would love some waffles.” Jared kissed the top of her messy curls before playing with the ends of them for a second. “Would you like to help me wrap Christmas presents after you finish your waffles?”

Clary smiled brightly and nodded her head. She’d never been allowed to help. “Really?!?”

Jared chuckled. “I think you’re big enough now to help me out some. I still don’t want you using the grown up scissors, but I think there are some parts you are ready for.”

“Is Papa helping too?” Clary leaned into Jared more and started to lazily rub circles on his stomach.

Jared bit his lip and tried to not let that dampen his brightening mood. “Not today sweetheart. He went out with a friend.”

“Like I did the other day with Zoe?”

Zoe was Clary’s new friend…not best friend though because she still considered Aidan to have that title. But Zoe’s mom, Sophia, had hired Jensen to design a website for her new clothing store. Their first meeting had been when Jared was still feeling too crappy to really be able to watch Clary on his own. The rest of the family had plans that day as well, so Jensen had no choice but to take Clary along with him. Luckily for him, and Clary, Sophia had been in the same boat. The single mom hadn’t found a babysitter either and had been forced to bring Zoe along with her. The two girls were the same age and hit it off on the spot.

“Sort of like you and Zoe did when Sophia took you two ice skating in the park.” Except you and Zoe have never gone on a date or kissed or - GAH! Jared shook his head trying to get those thoughts out of his head. He knew he could trust Jensen…he knew that.

“Ok,” Clary sighed. “Can we have waffles now? I think Will’s hungry!”

Jared loved his kid. She always seemed to find a way to make him smile, even when he didn’t think it was possible. “I think you may be right baby girl. Come on then.” He set her back on the ground so he could stand up as well. He took her tiny hand in his own and led her downstairs where they made waffles together.

It was a messy endeavor with the newly turned four year old insisting on being involved in every step. But Jared wouldn’t have had it any other way. Clary was inquisitive and quick learning. He hated denying her new experiences just because it would cause a little mess. He could live with messes…especially if it brought smiles that big to Clary’s face when she saw the finished products.

The two ate at the table, Clary talking a mile a minute and constantly trying to sneak in more syrup. Clary rambled on about the Santa her grandmother had taken her to see at the mall for a few minutes before pausing and scrunching up her tiny forehead. “Hey Daddy…why did he look different from the one you and Papa took me to see last week?”

“What do you mean baby girl?”

“He looked different. Like it wasn’t the same person!”

“Oh,” Jared sighed. He bit his lip as he tried to figure out how to answer her. “Well…Clary…you know how Santa is super busy this time of year?”

“Yeah! He has to sup…supvise…”

“Supervise,” Jared supplied.

Clary nodded. “He has to supervise all the elves and the toymaking and the reindeer!”

“That he does,” Jared replied with a smile. “Well…because of that…he can’t really be at all the malls all over the world now can he?”

“But…then who was that?”

“Well, Santa picks out helpers every year who can fill in for him while he’s working at the North Pole. Sometimes he’ll come down and work himself. But other times he calls up his helpers and has then fill in while he is busy. They each report back to him about what every little boy and girl wants so that he never misses anything.”

Clary’s face scrunched up as she considered his words. “Oh…makes sense.” She shrugged a little at the end of the statement before going back to her waffles. Jared breathed a huge sigh of relief and finished off his as well.

After he got the two of them cleaned up and the kitchen back in some semblance of order, he started working through some of the Christmas presents. He showed Clary how to fold the edges and place the tape. She followed him well, but her packages still ended up a sloppy mess of paper. Jared didn’t mind; he knew their family would love that Clary wrapped the gifts herself.

With all the cooking and wrapping, Clary tired herself out by the time lunch rolled around. Jared managed to get her to at least eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before she fell asleep at the kitchen table. Ignoring his aching muscles, he scooped her up from her chair and carried her up to her bed.

He heard a knock at the door as he came back down the stairs. He hurried to the door as quickly as he could, finding Josh standing on the other side. “Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey Jay,” Josh replied, stepping inside. “How you feeling today?”

“Not bad…still sore if I move the wrong way or overdo things. Want some coffee or tea?”

Josh nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table. “If you have any coffee left I’ll take a cup. I know how Jensen tends to clean you out of it.”

“Oh…he’s not been here since this morning.” Jared poured a cup for his brother in law and took a seat next to him. “He’s out with Wes.”

“Oh,” Josh said softly. “Those two always were inseparable back when they were friends.”

“Awesome,” Jared mumbled to himself, hoping Josh couldn’t hear him.

However, Josh did hear him and unlike his brother, he picked up on the slight unease in Jared’s voice. “I take it you’re not a fan?”

Jared bit his lip and looked down at the table. “It’s just…I’m really not Jen’s type am I?”

“Excuse me?” Josh asked in confusion, sputtering on his coffee some.

“It’s just…Wes has all these tattoos and knows how to skateboard and has the same interests as Jen and you said they were inseparable and lately I can barely get Jensen to lay down in the same bed with me and it seems like he’s pulling away and I don’t know why or what I should do and-“

“Woah!” Josh interrupted. Once Jared had started, he couldn’t stop, and it honestly had taken Josh by surprise. “Been holding that in awhile?”

“Just a few days,” Jared sighed. “Maybe longer on the part about him pulling away.”

“Pulling away? What do you mean?”

Jared’s gaze remained on the table once again. “Just…you know…in…the bedroom.” The last part of the statement was all but whispered.

“You mean sexually,” Josh said succinctly, causing Jared to turn bright red. “Jay, kid, it’s pretty damn obvious you two have sex.” Josh gestured towards Jared’s obviously pregnant belly.

Jared nodded slowly, still blushing like crazy. “Yeah…but he’s still pulling away.”

“Then you need to talk to him. Maybe there’s a reason…maybe not. Either way, you two need to talk about it.”

“I guess so,” Jared muttered softly.

“And for the Wes part…I wouldn’t worry about that Jay.”

Jared’s gaze flickered up towards Josh. He looked the epitome of a kicked puppy with the way his eyes widened and watered. “But you said they were inseparable.”

“When they were friends…before they dated. Once they started dating, all they did was fight.” Josh reached over and squeezed Jared’s shoulder. “Kid, before Jensen met you he did have a type. He typically went for the skateboarders he hung out with, the guys at the tat shops he went to, and rockers at the bars he liked. But you know what they all had in common? He broke up with every single one of them because they weren’t what he wanted out of someone for long term.” Josh moved his hand to rub Jared’s back in soothing circles. “He had a type and it wasn’t working for him. They might have all shared common interests, but not in ways that mattered. None of them were into the family thing or wanted to settle down like Jensen. He may have had a type, but all that flew out the window the minute he brought you home.”

“R-really?”

“Yes,” Josh said sternly. “I promise, Jay. Jensen is crazy about you! He was from that first weekend you got stranded here! I know my little brother.”

“But-“

“Just talk to him, Jared. You need to talk to Jensen. Like I said, I know my brother and I know that he can be oblivious sometimes. Just tell him how you feel and see what’s going on.”

Jared smiled a little. “Thanks Josh.”

“Any time,” Josh replied before going back to his coffee.

“Did you um…need Jen or - “

“Naw…Ellie’s parents are in and staying at the house. I needed a break. I love them, I do. But if I had to hear one more detail about their neighbors down in Florida, I think I would have shot myself.”

Jared laughed, his mood starting to brighten some. He was still upset and anxious, but Josh had helped quite a bit. He knew his brother in law was right; he needed to talk to Jensen. He vowed to do that as soon as his husband came home.

Continued Here