There are two types of weathermen; those who apologize for the rain, and those who don't. The first of these will always congregrate a viewership of human bricks. The second unknowingly indulge to the growing and underappreciated powderkeg of unsatiable alcoholics who only now finally have a meteorologist to assemble their common transgression. ( Read more... )

I was rummaging around in Goodwill today. We all were. And U2's "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" is playing. I just thought that was the funniest damn thing.

I miss you all.

My writing suffers from misplaced emphasism. Emphasism persists subjectively and symbiotically with the reader's perspective, yet it is created regardless as a side effect of language. It lies in the rules of subject, given leniency to where it is placed, how it is eluded to, how it is teased out from the front of the sentence or the end. Tagged ( Read more... )

There's no psychokinetic bond between human and object that compares to the moments just after releasing a bowling ball. I sometimes scoff at the the Jedi Warrior and their static relationship with the force. It is difficult to imagine them hurling and manipulating objects around them without leaning and squinting and biting their lips. Maybe this ( Read more... )

I just had a major fucking epiphany.

My wall against conversation has been blueprinted long ago by a T-shirt my late grandmother wore.

"Be a duck, remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath."

Conversation doesn't happen without kicking and slapping like an Amity Beach Tourist. Self aggrandizing. It's so fucking pathetic. Nobody ( Read more... )

I like to throw away the first two sentences of my writing before hitting the 'submit' button.

Regretfully I did not swing the wheel for that parking exclaimed FIREWORKS, for it really was a last chance establishment. Something kept me going.

The only time I had been into a shop dedicated to gunpowder I was maybe a twelve year old. There were isles of bins and shelves of pyrotechnics. It was a farmers market of fireworks, an amusement park of ( Read more... )

I'm quit smoking and got nothing left  to do. I have the impression that the fog has cleared and I can see the hole in front of me. There was a period for a couple of years when I was hungry. Every move was one fork towards any element of inebriation. I don't drink as much anymore. Half the reason for going to the bar was to smoke. It was the ( Read more... )

I try to remember what the largest mall in North Georgia was like 18 years ago. In my car sit 2 CDs I purchased here, when this place was considered at least a mild marvel. I wonder if they feel a homecoming ( Read more... )

I joined a gym a few weeks ago. "Month to month membership is $15 each", he squeaks at me. First and last month's due's up front. Twenty dollar annual membership maintenance fee. 55 dollar enrollment fee. It was 55 dollars to write my name and a fake address on a piece of paper. Brilliant.

Gyms are a mongrel breed of business like car dealerships ( Read more... )