alright, im in tennessee visiting my gramma and mom and brother and sister etc. my cousins from florida also came. the whole house is so tense its hard to have a normal conversation without someone getting heated. there's been alot of fighting-some being real bad. but we're surviving and still managing to enjoy each other's company. dan is at home ( Read more... )

im going home. cant wait to move

my dad died. my stepfather. my dad. one of my dads. my dad. im so confused. im so lost. i have never seen someone look that way.i wonder what he was thinking. i dont know who to talk to. i have all these questions and wonders about some gruesome things that are just not right to talk about with my sisters feels kinda like betrayal thinking about ( Read more... )

lol, im at best buy with my sister b and alaynna. life is not so good. deef, i am so so so so so so so so so so sorry about what you are dealing with in your life right now. i want to be there for you. please let me. i know its like we havent been friends in years, but you will always be my bestest friend ever. please call me. i have my own cell ( Read more... )

well, i have a therapist who is trying to help me deal with forgiveness, losing my mother, my uncle, a baby, and how to deal with other stuff. its a really slow start-this whole therapy stuff. i wish it was quicker. i wish she could just pry into my brain and tell me whats wrong and how to fix it ( Read more... )

i dont know why i even write in this journal. nobody ever reads it and im never interesting enough to talk back to. im just a boring mother with nothing to talk about except how much her life sucks and babies. yee fucking ha. i dont have any friends. my gramma is gone. my mom is leaving in a week. i want to live in arkansas and right now we have 0 ( Read more... )

i got an apartment! cany move in yer until its done being fixe up. new carpet is bein put in and the bathroom is being replaced. ive tried to tell everyone, but no one is ever available to tell. piss off. im back an forth between the apartment an fixing it up and dannys moms where i am staying til we move in. move out of my granparents today. ( Read more... )

well, frustrated. i have to go tomorrow morning for this sugar test thing. i have to drink this cup of liquid thats like sprite with 2 full cups of sugar in it, then sit there for an hour trying not to throw up then have blood drawn to see how my body reacts to sugar. its to make sure im not pregnant diabetic or whatever. monday i have an ( Read more... )

hmmmm. about dylan. i thought this would be a fun thing to do. he's 33" tall now. his blond hair is curling out in the back at the bottom and around his ears. its so frickin cute i can not part with it. i will in the spring, i think im going to give him a cute boy-ish buzz cut so i can either spike it on top or do the cute bang thing. not sure yet ( Read more... )

well, shit. its been about a year since i last posted. which is rediculous, but my life was all over the place and most places did not have the internet. and i didnt have the energy to explain what was going on in my life nor did i really want anyone to know i guess. imma only do a short over-view ( Read more... )