(no subject)
my dad died. my stepfather. my dad. one of my dads. my dad. im so confused. im so lost. i have never seen someone look that way.i wonder what he was thinking. i dont know who to talk to. i have all these questions and wonders about some gruesome things that are just not right to talk about with my sisters feels kinda like betrayal thinking about talking about it with someone else. im so confused. so lost. i feel like something might be wrong with me. seeing that really made me feel like something happened to me. i can NOT HANDLE someone knowcking on my door. i freak out. i have this thought that its chris. dad. i cant look out my front door without having these terrible images of everything. i HATE it when people walk thru my door. my brother walked in my screen door (we had the storm door already open) and i screamed and started crying. i thought he had walked thru my door. my brother started almost hyperventilating bc he didnt know how to handle my reaction. i dont know. now i dont want to be in the dark. or in my bedroom by myself.