When I think about staying, I feel like it's the wrong choice. Like I am supposed to do something else after this. Like I want to do a lot of things in a lot of places
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Awww, I think it's really one of those "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" kind of things. You're only 25 and you've already had this amazing experience that a lot of people will never have. Actually I guess you can say most people. Not that that makes it any less difficult to say goodbye to the people you've bonded with, of course, but yeah :o)
It was hard to come here and it's going to be hard to leave.... it's hard to move from anywhere I guess. The only time it wasn't hard was when I left for college haha. I was pretty happy about that. But it was only 2 hours away from home.... this is different in that I might not come back here... I guess I'll have to make it a priority.
Hmmm... I remember feeling this exact same thing last April as I was contemplating staying a 3rd year at my school. I probably could have just quoted those words. There's two things I can say right away
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I don't want you to feel like it will emotionally scar me... goodness knows I felt like I was going to die last year and I stayed another year haha. I actually feel better now than I did then.... but even though I wanted so badly to leave last time, I felt that my reasons for doing so were more selfish and more about what I wanted than thinking about what God wanted me to do.... which is why I stayed another year after all. I'm not saying that I really want to stay in Japan, but if I feel God wants me to, I will do that. At this point, though, I feel that not much would change by me staying longer.... maybe I'm wrong.... and I also feel that by staying longer I might miss opportunities in other places. Though I'm not sure where I should be going yet, I feel that it's time to set out with something else, and I don't want to hold off just because I love my job and I can live comfortably. I want to step out and take chances if I feel that is what I am supposed to be doing.
Yeah... poor choice of words there. I really wish there were an "edit" button. :/ What I mean is that being alone so much for so long permanently changes people's personalities, thus leaving a "scar." I know because I've been there, and I'm currently trying to figure out how to get my old self back, or whether it's even possible.
But I know that you are a strong person, and that you will follow God's direction no matter the cost to yourself. I've never doubted that about you.
But..... if you give something up following God you will end up with more than what you gave. That means even though it seems hard it is undoubtedly the thing to do.
It's really a difficult decision and I'm not sure what to do myself. I thought I'd only stay one year, but now I've signed my contract for a third year and I'm not entirely sure if I can leave after those 3 years without any regrets. I might end up staying even longer ... which will kill any oh so tiny career opportunity for me back home as I'm already 29 now and .... yeah .... GAH!
I haven't "officially" decided but I have more or less thought things out and I will probably be going home.... I'm not saying I am done with Japan but it's really hard to survive in such inaka like where I live. Even if it was just a small city or something with more young people I think I would be a lot happier. I love my job but it's after work that kills me.
The JLPT was a lot better than last year. I'm not sure if I passed or not but I'm sure I improved. Did you take the JLPT this year?
i see and i know what you mean, even if where i live isnt as inaka in some respects.
i didn't take the jlpt this year and i dont think i'll even be ready to take it in July like i had been hoping... :/ if you're anxious to get your results earlier, you should look up the test answers asap while you still remember some of your answers. i'm sure they're already out on chinese sites. they always are out like the next day. :x
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But I know that you are a strong person, and that you will follow God's direction no matter the cost to yourself. I've never doubted that about you.
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*hugs*
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wait, wha? did i miss something? have you already decided and turned in your recontracting form?
btw, how was the jlpt? :x
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The JLPT was a lot better than last year. I'm not sure if I passed or not but I'm sure I improved. Did you take the JLPT this year?
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i didn't take the jlpt this year and i dont think i'll even be ready to take it in July like i had been hoping... :/ if you're anxious to get your results earlier, you should look up the test answers asap while you still remember some of your answers. i'm sure they're already out on chinese sites. they always are out like the next day. :x
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