[The video feed clicks on and there's a brief, unfocused view of black fabric and a purple insignia, then it jerks upwards and shows a bewildered-looking troll with his hair flopping down wetly over his forehead and glasses on at a jaunty angle - then a hissed expletive and the video cuts off. It takes a good ten minutes for it to start back up
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You're here because Dio hates you. Welcome to some shitty city in Italy I didn't even know fucking existed. There's a retarded pedophile running around, but you have to be a complete fucking idiot to not be able to kick his ass... so if I were you I'd be really goddamn careful.
[Yup, he's definitely friendly.]
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Off the horns or I'll fuckin' gore you with them!
[His hands scrabble for a purchase on the ground as he tries to right himself - a valiant effort, considering the forces in play against his balance.]
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Oh wait he doesn't like Spain. And now Eridan has seen a sign of weakness. Time for Lovi to really flip the fuck out.] Chigi--! NOW YOU'RE DEAD, FISHY LITTLE BASTARD! [Pun intended. He jumps on Eridan, aiming to grab his throat and strangle him.]
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Shit!
[Luckily, the reflex of not putting his facial fins in danger translates to his neck as well, and he attempts to dodge to the side on instinct; though his arm snags instead and for a moment he's unbalanced again. The shock kicks him into reacting with a sudden attempt at sinking his teeth into the nearest hand.]
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All sense of Italian pride forgotten, Lovi sits down hard, bursts into tears and screams at the top of his lungs as he tries to get his arm out of Eridan's mouth.]
CH-CHIGIGIGIGIGI!! HEL- F-FUCK, LEMME GO! SPAIN!!! HELP! MURDER! CHIGIIIII!!!
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Fuckin - [He spits a bit of blood from his mouth.] - crywwiggler. [He'll just be crouching with his horns pointing at you, trying to look intimidating but really just looking for an excuse to catch his breath.] Stop fakin' it...!
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F-fuck you! B-bastard, ch-chigigi! [Yep, he's done fighting. Poor hemophobic, pathetic asshole. Karkat much.]
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