So. Conventional astrological wisdom says that your ascendant dictates your outward appearance and mannerisms, your sun sign dictates your inner or "true" personality, and your moon dictates your emotions. Of course there's going to be bleed if you will between all three, because each of those things informs the other. My Scorpio sun says if people are intimidated, that's their thing to deal with, not mine. My Gemini ascendant feels the need to explain it away before it gets distracted by -- oh, look, my kid's playing inFAMOUS 2, what a cool move Cole just made -- and my Pisces moon wants me to mellow out and try to understand everyone else's point of view
( ... )
"I happen to think that all these things are simply tools for refining our self-understanding."
I really like that. That's why this whole thing (researching my chart and whatnot) has been so cool for me lately, and why I've been thinking about it so much. A lot of the descriptions I read about my Sign and other aspects have let me see facets of my personality in a completely different light.
"...every single one of us has the power to remodel ourselves in whatever image we like best."
Have you found that to be true? I never have, really, but maybe that's just how I feel sometimes. I feel like there are just some things about myself that I can't change, and every time I try it's just like I'm hiding behind something. I can control my behaviors and adjust my values (maybe that's what you meant?) but I can't change my nature or how I feel inside. But I guess that's the eternal debate, is how much of ourselves is just "our nature" and how much can we control
( ... )
Do I find it to be true? For myself, yes (I've talked myself in and out of a great number of things), and I've seen it in other people too. I believe in the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies: we tell ourselves we're a non-smoker and we become one. We tell ourselves we'll learn what we need to pass an exam and we do. But... there are physical limitations: we can't tell ourselves we'll wake up 5'9 and model-thin when we go to bed 5'3 and round. Still, it's something to want to work toward, at least the practical parts.
Your questions, though: they're good ones and of course I can't answer them because I don't have the proper training and I sure don't know you well enough. But I do know that asking is often the first step toward making any change. Maybe if you feel like you're hating yourself whenever you try to change, you want to take a look at what it is you're focusing on and ask yourself if those are the right things. If you hate how it makes you feel, maybe those things aren't what need to change at all.
These are good thoughts. And thanks so much for your thoughtful answers; this is why I love talking with you so much. ♥ It's just nice to have ponderings to add to my own ponderings.
If it's not too personal a question, can I ask for some examples of what things you felt were the "right things" to change in your life? Physical goals like quitting smoking and losing weight are the sort of changes I can make without feeling like I'm hating myself-- in fact, I'm looking forward to starting a diet and exercise routine when I get back to the States. I guess what I struggle with is more emotional changes... Habits, reactions to situations.
For example, I don't want to be a shy, quiet person-- or at least, it makes my life harder, almost constantly. But I can't change the fact that I get nervous talking to people and sometimes I'd rather not do it, I can't make my life and the things I say magically more interesting to others, and no matter what I will always feel exhausted after spending too much time socializing. I can pretend I'm not
( ... )
I'm a Scorpio with, I believe, Libra ascendant, and I spent all of high school believing that I was hideous and with horrible personality flaws.
It wasn't until late high school/early college that I found out that I gave off an unapproachable vibe that made guys think I was either a lesbian or waiting to shoot them down. Hilariously, I got told by totally different sets of guys that I flirt without really intending to and give off that signal and then abruptly shut them down. LOL.
I also am very shy and get a little weirded out by looking people in the eye too much, so I end up coming across as distracted unless I'm really trying hard not to be.
Sadly, the thing that makes me into a social butterfly that people like? A glass or two of wine. Not really the best solution, but hasn't turned me into an alcoholic yet.
It's kind of funny that you say that. Pisceans are known for being prone to addictions, which I've always sort of felt about myself. So I actually kind of don't drink, as a personal rule. Also, ultra-conservative background, my dad had to deal with a father who was an alcoholic blah blah blah uninteresting drama/history/whatever. But it's too bad, because it would probably help, lol. ;D
It's just as well, really! In the process of finding out that a very little bit of alcohol makes me into a social butterfly, I first had to learn that too much of it makes me into an idiot with bad judgment. MUCH more embarrassing situations than shyness ever led to. D:
I'm sure relaxation techniques could eventually accomplish the same thing more deliberately and reliably.
I might have to try that-- the thought never occurred to me. I guess I assumed that relaxation techniques would help more with the heart palpatations/sweaty palms kind of problems, as opposed to simply feeling like you have nothing interesting to say. But maybe it would. I should at least look into it.
How do you figure out your ascendant? Also I know that kind of vibe you mean and just being quiet and not sharing what's important that easily. Though I tend to hide it by being almost overly social at times. Its the Gemini in me, I'm either really out there or keeping close in. *snugs*
I think I need to find a good astrology site and figure these things out. How did your sister do your charts?
As I understand it, your Ascendant depends on the hour you were born. If you look up the time on your birth certificate, you can get your whole chart at Astro Dienst. It's really interesting stuff. Let me know what you find. ;)
Edit: Sorry, I should add-- go under "My Astro" and create a user profile. On page 4 of the scrolly-thingy in the center of the site's main page has a link to draw your chart (I can't find it on the side bar for some reason O_o;).
Oh thank you, I might need to go ask my mother for my exact hour. I used to know it but I think I've forgotten.
Also your thoughts in talking to Gwynne are interesting. I think when we find tools to think about who we are, its helpful to understand our choices and use them to figure out where we wish to go.
One of the most helpful things I ever found was this sheet about people born on the 8th of the month that captured me incredibly well. I wish I knew where it was, I held onto it for years because it showed me a view of myself.
That's really interesting. I'm not sure I've ever heard of the day of the month you were born being used to describe your personality. I might have to look into that.
As for threading, I can be. :3 I've been having trouble sleeping lately, so I may not be able to brain for very long, but I will make an effort! ^-^b
Seriously, for a good deal of your post, I was kind of thinking: you and I need to talk more, because ohmygod I can relate to this in a thousand different ways.
Hee! :D We do need to talk more! I feel like I've read some of your posts and felt kind of the same way about them. Srsly, more chatting. It needs to happen.
And actually, that's perfectly helpful in its own way. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way; sometimes life can create the illusion in my head that I'm abnormal and there's something inherently wrong with me.
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I really like that. That's why this whole thing (researching my chart and whatnot) has been so cool for me lately, and why I've been thinking about it so much. A lot of the descriptions I read about my Sign and other aspects have let me see facets of my personality in a completely different light.
"...every single one of us has the power to remodel ourselves in whatever image we like best."
Have you found that to be true? I never have, really, but maybe that's just how I feel sometimes. I feel like there are just some things about myself that I can't change, and every time I try it's just like I'm hiding behind something. I can control my behaviors and adjust my values (maybe that's what you meant?) but I can't change my nature or how I feel inside. But I guess that's the eternal debate, is how much of ourselves is just "our nature" and how much can we control ( ... )
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Your questions, though: they're good ones and of course I can't answer them because I don't have the proper training and I sure don't know you well enough. But I do know that asking is often the first step toward making any change. Maybe if you feel like you're hating yourself whenever you try to change, you want to take a look at what it is you're focusing on and ask yourself if those are the right things. If you hate how it makes you feel, maybe those things aren't what need to change at all.
Just thoughts.
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If it's not too personal a question, can I ask for some examples of what things you felt were the "right things" to change in your life? Physical goals like quitting smoking and losing weight are the sort of changes I can make without feeling like I'm hating myself-- in fact, I'm looking forward to starting a diet and exercise routine when I get back to the States. I guess what I struggle with is more emotional changes... Habits, reactions to situations.
For example, I don't want to be a shy, quiet person-- or at least, it makes my life harder, almost constantly. But I can't change the fact that I get nervous talking to people and sometimes I'd rather not do it, I can't make my life and the things I say magically more interesting to others, and no matter what I will always feel exhausted after spending too much time socializing. I can pretend I'm not ( ... )
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It wasn't until late high school/early college that I found out that I gave off an unapproachable vibe that made guys think I was either a lesbian or waiting to shoot them down. Hilariously, I got told by totally different sets of guys that I flirt without really intending to and give off that signal and then abruptly shut them down. LOL.
I also am very shy and get a little weirded out by looking people in the eye too much, so I end up coming across as distracted unless I'm really trying hard not to be.
Sadly, the thing that makes me into a social butterfly that people like? A glass or two of wine. Not really the best solution, but hasn't turned me into an alcoholic yet.
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I'm sure relaxation techniques could eventually accomplish the same thing more deliberately and reliably.
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I think I need to find a good astrology site and figure these things out. How did your sister do your charts?
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Edit: Sorry, I should add-- go under "My Astro" and create a user profile. On page 4 of the scrolly-thingy in the center of the site's main page has a link to draw your chart (I can't find it on the side bar for some reason O_o;).
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Also your thoughts in talking to Gwynne are interesting. I think when we find tools to think about who we are, its helpful to understand our choices and use them to figure out where we wish to go.
One of the most helpful things I ever found was this sheet about people born on the 8th of the month that captured me incredibly well. I wish I knew where it was, I held onto it for years because it showed me a view of myself.
Are you going to be around for threading tonight?
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As for threading, I can be. :3 I've been having trouble sleeping lately, so I may not be able to brain for very long, but I will make an effort! ^-^b
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Seriously, for a good deal of your post, I was kind of thinking: you and I need to talk more, because ohmygod I can relate to this in a thousand different ways.
*hugs*
I have no other helpful things to say, alas.
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And actually, that's perfectly helpful in its own way. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way; sometimes life can create the illusion in my head that I'm abnormal and there's something inherently wrong with me.
*hugs back* ♥
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