I'm So Sorry, But I Love You... It's a LIE
Title: LIES
Pairing: RyoDa
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Failed Angst?
Disclaimer: I do not even own my name, how could I own anything? I am no one with no money, so no point of suing me right?
Summary: Ryo is lying to the LOVE of his life, Tatsuya and left to be suffering alone.. or not?
A/N: This fic is made by referring to one of Big Bang songs, Lies.This is my first one-shot and angst, IDK.. I really bad at angst and one-shot so please read it and tell me how bad am I at it ok. Thank you..
Yeah.. [Love is PAIN]
Dedicated to all my broken hearted people
One’s old flame, just scream my name
And I’m so sick of love songs
Yeah hate them.. love songs
Memento of ours… Lies!
Half lying on the couch, listen to the DJ’s rambling, Ryo’s mind wondering around. Soon, as the DJ stops his rambling, a love song was playing on the radio making Ryo abruptly switching off the radio. That song is one of Tatsuya’s favorites. Ryo exhales his breath as the memories of their love rushed into his mind. Ryo was the one who was asking for the break up and choose to ignore Tatsuya pleading to be back together, but now the uneasiness started to invade into him every time he listen to love songs.
A late night and rain falling down
I bring you back from my memories
I promised myself I would be fine without you,
But I can’t help it..
Ryo grabs his nth bottles of beers for that night harshly and drank it in a big gulp, trying to fill his lonely heart. It has been almost a month since he left Tatsuya after their argument and it feels like forever without Tatsuya. He is a mess now. He is no longer Ryo Nishikido, the idol since he resigned from NEWS and KANJANI 8 a day after he broke off with Tatsuya. The unruly long hair covering his sad eyes, dark stubbles tainting his handsome face and he is now forever reeks of alcohol. When he suddenly announces his breaking off with Tatsuya and his resigning from both of his group, it causes a great scandal in Japan entertainments. There are rumors about him everywhere as he suddenly missing without a trace.
“Please, God. Makes me forget Tatsuya,” he silently prays as he cannot bear the pain of missing him anymore.
I take in liquor which I don’t even know how to handle
Trying to fill my empty heart
A day without you is too long
I pray that I may please forget you.. [That’s a lie]
Ryo always knew that he’s never sincere in his praying to forget Tatsuya nor he has been trying to. He could not bring himself to forget the only love of his life as the memories of their love the only thing that keeps him breathing. Ryo curls his fingers on Tatsuya pajamas that he manage to take with him when he left their shared apartment, brings the pajamas near his nose and inhaling deeply into Tatsuya’s sweet faded scent.
Without you,
Happiness cannot be found in me
I can’t even shed any tears
I don’t want to live anymore
Ryo drinks his last beer and trying hard to let the drunkenness taking over his consciousness whiles his heart still missing his Hime. It hurts him so much that he feels like dying, missing the warm touches and sweet scent of Tatsuya. Even his tears refuse to be shed no matter how much he wanted to cry since that day he left Tatsuya. As if he forgets how to cry or even has feeling to have the will to live… without his precious Tatsuya.
Yeah, this is bullshit…
It’s pissing me off…
I’m going crazy in thoughts of you
I want to see you, but I’m being told that I can’t,
That it’s all over (I’ll be right there)
Even in his drunken state, he still remembers the painful night as he cannot stop himself from seeing Tatsuya. He went to their once shared apartment, hands shivers as he push the door bell only to be answered by Kazuya, his Tatsuya’s bestfriend.
~Flashback~
“What the heck do you want Ryo?” asked Kazuya harshly.
“Is Tatsuya home?” he asked ignoring Kazuya question.
“Is it not enough with the pain that you caused him? And now you wanted to bleed him to the death?” Kazuya almost lost his patience seeing Ryo in front of him.
“I want to see him… I need to see him…,” Almost begging Ryo said.
“You broke off with him remember? You are the one to end it, remember? Please just leave him alone…!! You done too much already,” Kazuya words pierced into him like thousands needles.
That night, he trashed his new apartment and bleeds himself as he punched a mirror letting his frustration out of him.
“I LOVE HIM… I NEVER STOP LOVING HIM…!!” He screamed in angst. “Tatsuya... I love you,” He said before falling into deep slumber.
I'm so sorry but I love you.. It was all lies
I didn't know… Now I realized that I need you..
I'm so sorry but I love you...Out of anger
I pushed you away with those piercing words, without realizing..
I'm so sorry but I love you... It was all lies
I'm so sorry [I'm sorry] but I love you [I love you more… more]
I'm so sorry but I love you...
Can you leave me and forget me slowly, so I can get hurt?
~Flashback~
“Ryo, you are changing into a different person... I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” One day, Tatsuya voiced his anxiety towards Ryo’s odd behaviors lately as they were having their dinner.
“What do you mean?” Ryo frowned at his boyfriend words.
“You seem restless and anxious. You always look paled. You forget things... even our anniversary… You act as if you don’t care about things anymore… You hardly at home now days,” Tatsuya said, looking deep into Ryo’s eyes.
“I am not. Stop worrying over nothing,” Coldly he answered.
“It’s not nothing. I can feel it. Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, you are not. So, stop worrying OK?”
“Then, do you..,” Tatsuya feels hesitated.
“Do I what?” Ryo’s puzzled.
“Do you have someone else?” With a low voice Tatsuya asked.
“For God sake Tatsuya, where the hell is that come from?”
“Then, why are you ignoring me? Why do you act like you don’t love me anymore? Why? Why?” Tatsuya burst into tears as he speaks.
Ryo massaged his suddenly sore head. Tiredness from travelling from Osaka and lacks of sleeps and now his boyfriend’s nagging making his head ready to burst.
“Tell me, Ryo. Don’t you love me anymore?”
“SHUT THE FUCKING UP, TATSUYA!!!” Ryo screamed as he cannot bear his headache anymore.
Ryo threw everything down to the floor in anger making Tatsuya shivered in fears. He had enough problems to worry about and he does not need Tatsuya to add it.
“You know what? NO, I DON’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN YOU... NO, I STILL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU…,” Tatsuya tried to talk but Ryo is far from finished, “I love you, Tatsuya… but…,” he stopped, inhaling a deep breath before continues, “But I don’t think we should be together anymore,” Ryo’s words like a sharp knife stabbed into Tatsuya heart.
“Ryo…,” Tatsuya lips trembling as he tried to hold Ryo’s hand, who was already stood in front of him.
“I’m sorry Tatsuya,” Ryo distanced himself from his lover.
“Why?” Tatsuya asked as tears keep running on his paled cheeks.
“I’m in love with a man, but you make me feels like my lover is a girl. All the nagging, stupid jealousy and everything... It doesn’t feel right anymore,” Ignoring Tatsuya hurtful looks, Ryo added, “Let’s break up, Tatsuya.”
Tatsuya fell on his knees listen to Ryo’s words. He hugged Ryo’s legs begging for Ryo not to leave him. “Ryo, please baby… I’m sorry.. I’ll change.. Don’t leave me please. I love you.. Ryo, I love you.. please… please… please…Don’t leave me.”
“It’s too late, Tatsuya.. Too late,” with that he left Tatsuya, the one and only guy he ever loved broken-hearted.
I dedicated my all into this song for you
Other people probably don’t know
By myself, without anyone knowing
[Yeah, those words I said were lies]
A loner left in the midst of it all
In my pocket is the breakup letter
That’s all wrinkled and folded up in my pocket….
And my habit of calling for you and wondering where you are
I’m gonna change, I’ll laugh everything off from now on…
Ryo’s eyes cautiously screening the area to ensure no one that he knew see him. He lowered his cap and adjusts his sunglass to be well disguised. Last night, after doing some thinking, he finally decided to let Tatsuya go, forever. At this moment, Ryo is waiting for the man that he loves whole-heartedly to appear at the jimoshu. He wanted to see Tatsuya face for the last time, engraving his Hime beautiful face in his heart. Soon, the pretty face he’d been missing appears in front of the jimoshu entrance looking beautiful as ever but a little pale and thin. His heart aching in pain as he noticed Tatsuya looks. They been together long enough to realized Tatsuya still in pain from their break up.
Feeling like been watched, Tatsuya turns his head to the corner where Ryo was hiding. As he sees nothing he keeps walking and enter the jimoshu as he almost late for KAT-TUN meeting. Ryo inhale his breath in relieved as Tatsuya failed to notice him. He feels content just by seeing Tatsuya from afar. He took heavy steps toward his car nearby. Suddenly, Ryo feels his head spinning and starting to ache. The only thing he heard before darkness engulfed him is someone calling his name.
~Part 2~
Pairing: RyoDa
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Failed Angst?
Disclaimer: I do not even own my name, how could I own anything? I am no one with no money, so no point of suing me right?
Summary: Ryo is lying to the LOVE of his life, Tatsuya and left to be suffering alone.. or not?
A/N: This fic is made by referring to one of Big Bang songs, Lies.This is my first one-shot and angst, IDK.. I really bad at angst and one-shot so please read it and tell me how bad am I at it ok. Thank you..
Yeah.. [Love is PAIN]
Dedicated to all my broken hearted people
One’s old flame, just scream my name
And I’m so sick of love songs
Yeah hate them.. love songs
Memento of ours… Lies!
Half lying on the couch, listen to the DJ’s rambling, Ryo’s mind wondering around. Soon, as the DJ stops his rambling, a love song was playing on the radio making Ryo abruptly switching off the radio. That song is one of Tatsuya’s favorites. Ryo exhales his breath as the memories of their love rushed into his mind. Ryo was the one who was asking for the break up and choose to ignore Tatsuya pleading to be back together, but now the uneasiness started to invade into him every time he listen to love songs.
A late night and rain falling down
I bring you back from my memories
I promised myself I would be fine without you,
But I can’t help it..
Ryo grabs his nth bottles of beers for that night harshly and drank it in a big gulp, trying to fill his lonely heart. It has been almost a month since he left Tatsuya after their argument and it feels like forever without Tatsuya. He is a mess now. He is no longer Ryo Nishikido, the idol since he resigned from NEWS and KANJANI 8 a day after he broke off with Tatsuya. The unruly long hair covering his sad eyes, dark stubbles tainting his handsome face and he is now forever reeks of alcohol. When he suddenly announces his breaking off with Tatsuya and his resigning from both of his group, it causes a great scandal in Japan entertainments. There are rumors about him everywhere as he suddenly missing without a trace.
“Please, God. Makes me forget Tatsuya,” he silently prays as he cannot bear the pain of missing him anymore.
I take in liquor which I don’t even know how to handle
Trying to fill my empty heart
A day without you is too long
I pray that I may please forget you.. [That’s a lie]
Ryo always knew that he’s never sincere in his praying to forget Tatsuya nor he has been trying to. He could not bring himself to forget the only love of his life as the memories of their love the only thing that keeps him breathing. Ryo curls his fingers on Tatsuya pajamas that he manage to take with him when he left their shared apartment, brings the pajamas near his nose and inhaling deeply into Tatsuya’s sweet faded scent.
Without you,
Happiness cannot be found in me
I can’t even shed any tears
I don’t want to live anymore
Ryo drinks his last beer and trying hard to let the drunkenness taking over his consciousness whiles his heart still missing his Hime. It hurts him so much that he feels like dying, missing the warm touches and sweet scent of Tatsuya. Even his tears refuse to be shed no matter how much he wanted to cry since that day he left Tatsuya. As if he forgets how to cry or even has feeling to have the will to live… without his precious Tatsuya.
Yeah, this is bullshit…
It’s pissing me off…
I’m going crazy in thoughts of you
I want to see you, but I’m being told that I can’t,
That it’s all over (I’ll be right there)
Even in his drunken state, he still remembers the painful night as he cannot stop himself from seeing Tatsuya. He went to their once shared apartment, hands shivers as he push the door bell only to be answered by Kazuya, his Tatsuya’s bestfriend.
~Flashback~
“What the heck do you want Ryo?” asked Kazuya harshly.
“Is Tatsuya home?” he asked ignoring Kazuya question.
“Is it not enough with the pain that you caused him? And now you wanted to bleed him to the death?” Kazuya almost lost his patience seeing Ryo in front of him.
“I want to see him… I need to see him…,” Almost begging Ryo said.
“You broke off with him remember? You are the one to end it, remember? Please just leave him alone…!! You done too much already,” Kazuya words pierced into him like thousands needles.
That night, he trashed his new apartment and bleeds himself as he punched a mirror letting his frustration out of him.
“I LOVE HIM… I NEVER STOP LOVING HIM…!!” He screamed in angst. “Tatsuya... I love you,” He said before falling into deep slumber.
I'm so sorry but I love you.. It was all lies
I didn't know… Now I realized that I need you..
I'm so sorry but I love you...Out of anger
I pushed you away with those piercing words, without realizing..
I'm so sorry but I love you... It was all lies
I'm so sorry [I'm sorry] but I love you [I love you more… more]
I'm so sorry but I love you...
Can you leave me and forget me slowly, so I can get hurt?
~Flashback~
“Ryo, you are changing into a different person... I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” One day, Tatsuya voiced his anxiety towards Ryo’s odd behaviors lately as they were having their dinner.
“What do you mean?” Ryo frowned at his boyfriend words.
“You seem restless and anxious. You always look paled. You forget things... even our anniversary… You act as if you don’t care about things anymore… You hardly at home now days,” Tatsuya said, looking deep into Ryo’s eyes.
“I am not. Stop worrying over nothing,” Coldly he answered.
“It’s not nothing. I can feel it. Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, you are not. So, stop worrying OK?”
“Then, do you..,” Tatsuya feels hesitated.
“Do I what?” Ryo’s puzzled.
“Do you have someone else?” With a low voice Tatsuya asked.
“For God sake Tatsuya, where the hell is that come from?”
“Then, why are you ignoring me? Why do you act like you don’t love me anymore? Why? Why?” Tatsuya burst into tears as he speaks.
Ryo massaged his suddenly sore head. Tiredness from travelling from Osaka and lacks of sleeps and now his boyfriend’s nagging making his head ready to burst.
“Tell me, Ryo. Don’t you love me anymore?”
“SHUT THE FUCKING UP, TATSUYA!!!” Ryo screamed as he cannot bear his headache anymore.
Ryo threw everything down to the floor in anger making Tatsuya shivered in fears. He had enough problems to worry about and he does not need Tatsuya to add it.
“You know what? NO, I DON’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN YOU... NO, I STILL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU…,” Tatsuya tried to talk but Ryo is far from finished, “I love you, Tatsuya… but…,” he stopped, inhaling a deep breath before continues, “But I don’t think we should be together anymore,” Ryo’s words like a sharp knife stabbed into Tatsuya heart.
“Ryo…,” Tatsuya lips trembling as he tried to hold Ryo’s hand, who was already stood in front of him.
“I’m sorry Tatsuya,” Ryo distanced himself from his lover.
“Why?” Tatsuya asked as tears keep running on his paled cheeks.
“I’m in love with a man, but you make me feels like my lover is a girl. All the nagging, stupid jealousy and everything... It doesn’t feel right anymore,” Ignoring Tatsuya hurtful looks, Ryo added, “Let’s break up, Tatsuya.”
Tatsuya fell on his knees listen to Ryo’s words. He hugged Ryo’s legs begging for Ryo not to leave him. “Ryo, please baby… I’m sorry.. I’ll change.. Don’t leave me please. I love you.. Ryo, I love you.. please… please… please…Don’t leave me.”
“It’s too late, Tatsuya.. Too late,” with that he left Tatsuya, the one and only guy he ever loved broken-hearted.
I dedicated my all into this song for you
Other people probably don’t know
By myself, without anyone knowing
[Yeah, those words I said were lies]
A loner left in the midst of it all
In my pocket is the breakup letter
That’s all wrinkled and folded up in my pocket….
And my habit of calling for you and wondering where you are
I’m gonna change, I’ll laugh everything off from now on…
Ryo’s eyes cautiously screening the area to ensure no one that he knew see him. He lowered his cap and adjusts his sunglass to be well disguised. Last night, after doing some thinking, he finally decided to let Tatsuya go, forever. At this moment, Ryo is waiting for the man that he loves whole-heartedly to appear at the jimoshu. He wanted to see Tatsuya face for the last time, engraving his Hime beautiful face in his heart. Soon, the pretty face he’d been missing appears in front of the jimoshu entrance looking beautiful as ever but a little pale and thin. His heart aching in pain as he noticed Tatsuya looks. They been together long enough to realized Tatsuya still in pain from their break up.
Feeling like been watched, Tatsuya turns his head to the corner where Ryo was hiding. As he sees nothing he keeps walking and enter the jimoshu as he almost late for KAT-TUN meeting. Ryo inhale his breath in relieved as Tatsuya failed to notice him. He feels content just by seeing Tatsuya from afar. He took heavy steps toward his car nearby. Suddenly, Ryo feels his head spinning and starting to ache. The only thing he heard before darkness engulfed him is someone calling his name.
~Part 2~