Wow... you have a wonderful way of thinking. You handle things far more rational than most people, I'd imagine. Though it's sad to hear that you have to leave for now you're totally right; Japan will always be waiting for you when you finish your next adventure.
If you need help with anything, let me know. I've moved quite a few things, so I'm bit of a box-packing expert!
I'm not sure now, today I'm like "oh fuck this is gonna SUCK!" and I applied to another job right after waking up.
I did the mature thing after meditating with nature.. but after having 12 hours of sleep, full of dreams of applying to other jobs and getting one at as a housekeeper of a mansion......you'd think I'd prefer going back home to that but now I'm all "omg there's gotta be SOMETHING I can do"
I just don't want to leave my house and it would be really hard for Mimu.
I feel pretty much the same way, except I don't feel anxiety about leaving Belgium. Quite the contrary, I really WANT to leave and just dive into something that will take me somewhere in life. Belgium's my first home, it's where I grew up, it's my roots.
I'm like a kitten right now: I know the world is so much bigger than the little bit my mother has allowed me to see. I need to venture out, away from everything and everyone I knew (except Victoria, who in fact lives in England XD), start with a clean slate. Make my own mistakes and take full responsibility for them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUcltIrh8Po listen to that song (the lyrics are on it too!), it's "Wide open spaces", that song I've been hyping over a little while ago XD
It's interesting you mention being a kitten. I keep dreaming about kittens lately! I've always felt that kittens in dreams typically mean there is someone you're sort of leading or teaching, taking care of in a way, in a loving caring manner, not a controlling one. Like you can't control a cat - they'd do whatever they want.
It's funny that this song is all about chasing your dreams and stuff - typically going AWAY from your home is connecting to chasing your dreams. But maybe that's my next challenge - seeing that going back to where I was born doesn't necessarily mean I'm running away from my dreams or failing to achieve them.
I'm not really into western country music but I'm glad I listened to this, it made me think about that. Thanks.
omg. i read this. i don't know what to say. i just wanted to say i read this.
okay, maybe i do know what i want to say now after giving myself like a few minutes to digest everything even though i still don't know what i should say. i'm just thinking about the things you did, the amount of thinking you went through to be able to come to accept this, think like that, and make this decision.
If life is moving you in one direction, do your best to understand it and go with it. Fighting it sucks way more and the gain is only superficial. i'm going to think about this, because i always thought that to have the courage to go against the odds is applaudable. cause in my case, if i go along with where my life is moving me, i know i won't be happy. however, forces in control of my life > what i can do for myself
Yeah, I used to think the same way. That's why being in Japan was equal to "winning" kinda. "Achieving" my dreams. But I've been here long enough for that ego part of myself to wear down, for me to relax and settle in, and then realize that this place is no glory land. There are some things that I really like about Japan even still like how people don't judge you for what you look like or for who you are. Unless you're foreign (and not Asian). Even Koreans and Philippians (spell check told me that was the correct word..) receive less discrimination than white or black people do, regardless of their nationality. Oh man I could go on for days about what I don't like about Japan now. This place is respectful, at least, but just as dead spiritually and emotionally as the US, if not moreso because the US has woken up quite a bit in the last 15 years
( ... )
"So when we create that kind of resonance internally, we are in line with that divine self. True bliss represents an optimal state of functioning. “This state is the natural function, but our society interferes. You don’t have to teach this to native peoples. Most of us have lost touch with that reality. Most of us seem to be locked in a grim struggle constantly rushing off to the next thing. So while it may be natural to be in bliss, we have to learn again to feel our natural state of bliss, to feel the spiritual nature of everything around us, every moment. This doesn’t have to do with church. It doesn’t have to do with whether you were bad or good. It’s about feeling good.”Also, I have the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know" right here in Japan with me. I've had it since 2007 on hand just in case I wanted to show someone when I couldn't find the words myself XD
( ... )
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If you need help with anything, let me know. I've moved quite a few things, so I'm bit of a box-packing expert!
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I did the mature thing after meditating with nature.. but after having 12 hours of sleep, full of dreams of applying to other jobs and getting one at as a housekeeper of a mansion......you'd think I'd prefer going back home to that but now I'm all "omg there's gotta be SOMETHING I can do"
I just don't want to leave my house and it would be really hard for Mimu.
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I'm like a kitten right now: I know the world is so much bigger than the little bit my mother has allowed me to see. I need to venture out, away from everything and everyone I knew (except Victoria, who in fact lives in England XD), start with a clean slate. Make my own mistakes and take full responsibility for them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUcltIrh8Po listen to that song (the lyrics are on it too!), it's "Wide open spaces", that song I've been hyping over a little while ago XD
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It's funny that this song is all about chasing your dreams and stuff - typically going AWAY from your home is connecting to chasing your dreams. But maybe that's my next challenge - seeing that going back to where I was born doesn't necessarily mean I'm running away from my dreams or failing to achieve them.
I'm not really into western country music but I'm glad I listened to this, it made me think about that. Thanks.
Reply
okay, maybe i do know what i want to say now after giving myself like a few minutes to digest everything even though i still don't know what i should say. i'm just thinking about the things you did, the amount of thinking you went through to be able to come to accept this, think like that, and make this decision.
If life is moving you in one direction, do your best to understand it and go with it. Fighting it sucks way more and the gain is only superficial. i'm going to think about this, because i always thought that to have the courage to go against the odds is applaudable. cause in my case, if i go along with where my life is moving me, i know i won't be happy. however, forces in control of my life > what i can do for myself
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I read this the other night :] I think you may find it interesting too.
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