You? Are you fucking kidding me? Okay, I've kind of accepted this place's decisions using me as their own personal convenient receptacle for whatever cascading vomit waterfalls its decided to send my way each morning, but you take the fucking grubloaf!
Wait, no, I changed my mind! This is great! Enjoy your new squishy pink self while it lasts, fuckass, because it's going to be expertly carved into tasteful douchebag slivers any time I happen to feel like it.
What point on the timeline are you from, shit can?
Oh hi Kar, comin' on strong as usual I see! That death threat was just oozing with the blackness. Well, fillin' my fuckin' quadrants is the least fuckin' important thing on my mind right now!
Last thing I remember is that Kan sawed me the fuck in two.
How many times do I have to tell you that any and all hate I have for you is completely platonic? You're such a worthless shit stain that that quadrant is completely outside the realm of possibility, so don't fucking worry, not that you're ever thinking of anything but the sorry state of your quadrants.
And that doesn't even fucking make sense. If you're some beta doomed timeline piece of shit then that would really just ruin my day all over again.
[He freezes when he hears Gamzee's voice... Even though it was his normal, chill motherfucker self. It was the last voice he really wanted to hear. After a few moments, he finally gets the courage to speak]
Gamz, this audio tube clearly isn't some kind of fakey bullshit miracle...
Course it is, my brother. Ain't no other way your voice could be all traveling and shit down these tiny wires to my motherfuckin' fine auricular sponge clots.
[Another voice he didn't want to hear... his nervousness is very apparent, as much as he tries to hide it. the reciever is shaking in his hands. He oes his best to play nice.]
H-hi Kan... Well, I d-did think of that... but I need to let whoever is doin' this fuckin' crazy not magic shit to cut it the fuck out!
[ Strange... Maybe he's just not used to his human skin, that's all. ]
I'm not entirely certain about this not magic myself... Oh well, in any case, being a little nicer won't make them "cut it the fuck out" a little sooner. Are you all right?
Comments 83
You? Are you fucking kidding me? Okay, I've kind of accepted this place's decisions using me as their own personal convenient receptacle for whatever cascading vomit waterfalls its decided to send my way each morning, but you take the fucking grubloaf!
Wait, no, I changed my mind! This is great! Enjoy your new squishy pink self while it lasts, fuckass, because it's going to be expertly carved into tasteful douchebag slivers any time I happen to feel like it.
What point on the timeline are you from, shit can?
Reply
Last thing I remember is that Kan sawed me the fuck in two.
Reply
And that doesn't even fucking make sense. If you're some beta doomed timeline piece of shit then that would really just ruin my day all over again.
Reply
Would you think I'd be the type to fuckin' lie about that sort of thing? Honest to glub, Kan fuckin' killed me.
Reply
Reply
Gamz, this audio tube clearly isn't some kind of fakey bullshit miracle...
Reply
Course it is, my brother. Ain't no other way your voice could be all traveling and shit down these tiny wires to my motherfuckin' fine auricular sponge clots.
Reply
There's obviously a fuckin' scientific explanation! [he sighs]
How long have you been here?
Reply
Oh dear.
[ Yes, she has no clue... ]
Would it hurt to consider the possibility of your derogatory remarks derailing the original focus of your inquiry?
Reply
H-hi Kan... Well, I d-did think of that... but I need to let whoever is doin' this fuckin' crazy not magic shit to cut it the fuck out!
Reply
I'm not entirely certain about this not magic myself... Oh well, in any case, being a little nicer won't make them "cut it the fuck out" a little sooner. Are you all right?
Reply
Other than feelin' like a fish out of fuckin' water, I guess I'm alright.
Of course this isn't fuckin' fake bullshit.
I could try bein' a little nicer but what's the point they won't know I mean fuckin' business.
Reply
Consider yourself desecrated! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Reply
Reply
Reply
[pause]
Once I get my stuff back, I'll be sendin' you to troll Davy' Jones's Locker!
Reply
Having fun with your new, human self? Hope so! You're gonna be like that for a whiiiiiiiile.[COMMENCE TROLLING.]
Reply
Figured you'd come fuckin' crawlin' back the moment I turned human.
Reply
Leave a comment