Because We're family Part 10
Pairing: Kyumin
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/Romance
Warnings: adult themes - incest.
Summary: One day, Kyuhyun's father brings back Sungmin - his newly found half-brother. But Kyuhyun doesn't know just how much Sungmin could change their lives. They grew up and Kyuhyun should have never fell in love with Sungmin. Kyuhyun shouldn't have made Sungmin hate him either.
A/N: 3 weeks later. huuuu. i probably took longer than i expected but honestly, this time i was so very busy. I'll try to nail down the next chapter pronto since i have free time now. ENJO Y :)
MASTERLIST
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6 Part A
Chapter 6 Part B
Chapter 6 Part C
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
“Stop caring for me, if it bothers you that much”
Kyuhyun tried to shake the echo of the voice in his head. He probably shouldn’t have said that. But he was so desperate of just gripping on any pride he had left as he watched Sungmin storm away in anger. It was his fault he shouldn’t have kissed Sungmin.
But still he shouldn’t have said it.
He had just told Sungmin to stop caring for him. Kyuhyun could barely hear anything because it was so loud in the club but the line he had said that he regretted so much was so very clear in his ears. It was like another devil version of him was sitting right next to him - whispering it over and over again. It frustrated him because he never meant what he said; because all the things he says come out wrong; because all the things he says were always lies; always. It frustrated him so much he was rotting inside. And Kyuhyun hated that. He hated himself so much; so very much.
He gulped down whatever was in his glass and winced slightly at the taste. He saw Jay and Changmin laughing as they hit Jungmo playfully - he was too depressed to give a damn about what was so funny. He was supposed to be celebrating. They just finished their first gig. He should be laughing along but he was just not in the mood.
He just wanted to drown in alcohol; wash away the bad feeling in his chest. He just kissed Sungmin, he can’t possibly be any closer to Sungmin, his feelings showed; he simply can’t contain himself. Kyuhyun had kissed Sungmin out of the spur of the moment, he was just so angry. And Kyuhyun really can’t forgive himself - the first time he kissed Sungmin he was drunk - just know he was perfectly sober.
Kyuhyun was an animal. He couldn’t control himself. He was a monster.
Damn you Sungmin, for being so irresistible.
Kyuhyun emptied the almost gold liquid in his glass and quickly asked for a refill. It was their lucky day, because they were performing so they could drink all they want and not pay a cent. And Kyuhyun just wanted to forget. Kyuhyun just wanted to stop feeling.
What the fuck have I done?
A few rounds later, they were tumbling out of the club headed for the general direction of the warehouse. At least, Kyuhyun thought it was, he’s too drunk to think.
“Yah, Cho Kyuhyun!”
“CHO KYUHYUN!” Kyuhyun wasn’t quite sure if he was dreaming but Sungmin was standing next to him, and Sungmin was probably gripping on Kyuhyun’s arm and that was probably where the pain was coming from.
“Let’s go back home, please”
“But Sungmin it’s still early out. Can’t you see the sun?” Kyuhyun’s finger rose to the sky pointing to dark sky, he was giggling and constantly swinging, struggling to make sure he doesn’t fall flat to the ground.
“Kyuhyun, please” Sungmin was pulling Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun could only tell because he felt himself tipping toward the general direction Sungmin was walking.
“Look, whose being pushed around by his brother” Changmin cooed - his obnoxious voice broke through the sounds of Jay and Jungmo giggling. “Kyuhyun-ah, since when do you follow orders? You never listen to me!” Changmin was raising his voice. Kyuhyun could hear word for word and he really didn’t know why he felt so angry.
Changmin’s expression just made him want to punch him across the face.
“Why are you listening to darling Sungmin?” Changmin said again, laughing. Jay and Jungmo seemed to laugh and Kyuhyun didn’t know if they were laughing because they would laugh at anything or they were mocking him. Either way, he wasn’t so happy about it.
“WHAT THE FUCK CHANGMIN?” Kyuhyun gripped Changmin’s collar holding it with an iron grip. “WHAT.THE.FUCK.IS.YOUR.PROBLEM?”
“Ooooo… someone sure is cross~” Changmin mocked him, not wavered by Kyuhyun’s force.
“Yah, Cho Kyuhyun. Let go!” Sungmin clung onto Kyuhyun’s free arm - desperately trying to stop his brother. But it was too late, Kyuhyun was too angry by now; he was too drunk to think right from wrong by now. It was too late because Kyuhyun had already swung his fist and Changmin was already on the floor.
“GO FUCK YOURSELF BASTARD!”
Kyuhyun felt the anger seep through his veins as his feet moved fast pass the few people who seemed so shocked of the scene that had happened. He probably shouted louder than necessary but he didn’t give a damn. Right now, he just wanted to walk away.
His life was so fucked up and he was just so damn angry.
He wanted to walk faster away; away from there, away from life.
“Kyuhyun!”
Kyuhyun didn’t really know where this road was taking him but he didn’t want to go back nor did he want to stop and think. He didn’t give a damn.
“YAH!”
Kyuhyun felt a weight holding him from walking. “Stop walking away”
“Get the fuck off me, Sungmin” Kyuhyun bellowed. “Go back home. Leave me alone”
“No, I don’t want to”
For a second, Kyuhyun collected himself to look into those eyes.
“I’m not going to give up on you just yet. I know you. I know you wouldn’t go this low. I know you can do better than this. I beg you, Kyuhyun. Please. Can we just go home?”
Kyuhyun stared at Sungmin’s begging face. Kyuhyun could see how sincere Sungmin was. He knew Sungmin was so very worried. Kyuhyun had spent so many days running away from Sungmin. He didn’t want this want; this want towards Sungmin to show. It made him feel despicable. How could you love your own brother?
But Sungmin was still everything to him. And Kyuhyun had tried everything. He had tried pretending everything was ok; he had tried making Sungmin hate him; he even tried to hate Sungmin. Nothing took him away from this boy. Pretending everything was ok made Kyuhyun only want Sungmin more; trying to make Sungmin hate him made Kyuhyun suffer and hating Sungmin was impossible. Sungmin could murder Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun would still love Sungmin.
Everything Kyuhyun did only made the feeling stronger - probably it made Kyuhyun numb from the pain, but Kyuhyun still missed Sungmin more than ever. Kyuhyun still loved Sungmin more than ever.
“Please, Sungmin. Please just go” Kyuhyun felt like crying. It just hurts too much.
“Please just let me be. Please don’t appear in my life anymore. It hurts so much to see you like this” It hurts so much to see you hurt. It hurts so much to see you trying so hard on someone as worthless as me.
“Kyuhyun… are you crying?”
Kyuhyun could barely see anything, his eyesight was clouded and his nose was running. Why were his cheeks so moist?
“Kyuhyun…” Sungmin placed his hand on each side of Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun felt like Sungmin’s grip on each arm was the only thing that was holding him together. He was breaking apart.
But Kyuhyun he couldn’t give in to Sungmin because Sungmin would never understand. Sungmin wouldn’t understand how each day Kyuhyun would wish he could still hug Sungmin as he fell asleep. Sungmin wouldn’t really understand how all Kyuhyun wanted was Sungmin to back off Henry and hold his hand instead, have walks to the park with him, do their homework together; Kyuhyun wanted Sungmin to spend time with him, not Henry. And Sungmin would never understand that.
So, Kyuhyun pushed Sungmin’s hands away though he could hear himself cracking more and more critically. “Please Sungmin… I beg you. I hate you so muc,h so please stop. Please stop caring for me and just leave me alone…”
Kyuhyun had cried like this in the confinement of his room so many times - tears never ending, the gripping pain in his heart, the weak feeling in his knees - and the only thing that was stopping him from kneeling on the ground from that weak feeling in his knees was the fact that Sungmin would want to pick him up. Kyuhyun didn’t need that, he needed Sungmin to leave.
“Kyuhyun…” Kyuhyun didn’t need to look at Sungmin’s face to know that tears were running down the latter’s face. Kyuhyun turned around and started walking away again; he couldn’t look at Sungmin cry, he was an absolute softie for Sungmin tears. “Kyuhyun…”
Sungmin should have just left the moment Kyuhyun had said the words that burned his heart and shattered his soul; should have walked away; should have ran for his life the moment Kyuhyun had said that outright lie that he hated his own brother. But Sungmin didn’t. Instead, he held on to Kyuhyun’s sleeve when Kyuhyun decided he would walk away.
And Sungmin really shouldn’t have done that.
“JUST LET GO OF ME!” Kyuhyun shouted at the top of his lungs. His tear stained face full of rage as he pushed Sungmin. Kyuhyun shouldn’t have done it.
But he already did.
If hurt could be counted of someone’s face, Kyuhyun couldn’t count how much was on Sungmin’s face because Kyuhyun had never seen Sungmin so hurt. He had never seen anyone so hurt.
Kyuhyun really shouldn’t have just watched Sungmin pick himself up, wipe off stones from the bleeding scratch on Sungmin’s palm from falling on the tar road, and walk away slowly because it hurt so much to watch Sungmin walk away from him. Especially, it was because Kyuhyun had told him to go.
“I hate you so much” Kyuhyun mumbled in between his vigorous sobbing. “I hate you so very much”
I hate you so much that each part of me is dying for loving you more.
__FIN___
I'm hurting my bby Kyu too much *cries*
but really, i'm just probably so sad that Heechul's already going to army.
AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO FEELS LIKE A MOTHER WATCHING HER BABIES GROW UP?
super junior, why you grow up so fast TT.TT
i'm going to miss them so muuch
ok. enough of me ranting
LOVESSSS :)