ive come to the conclusion that ill be using livejournal as a "RANT" journal. Here he comes talking all that shit. Its a constant battle alll day. its like I enter "his mother's house" and its constnat bullshit. i am so tired of this shit. Tired of all of it. Its like my life has turned  into shit! literally shit. I love my daughter to death but ( Read more... )

I know its late but i'm sending everyone my warmest holiday wishes. I hope that everyones lives are doing alot better than mine. not to sound all depressed but yeah shit is just crazy like always.

Im so tired of feeling like im suffocating. I don't understand why. I'm so tired of living the way I do adn not being able to do shit about it. I just hold it all in and I can feel it inside me every single day. With every breathe i take my chest gets tighter and tighter until I can't breathe and I feel like i'm under water. I don't know what to do ( Read more... )

I dont trust people easily. I don't trust many people at all. i am so scared of people fucking me over. Does tha tmean i'm insecure of myself? I don't like the fact that Mike goes out to clubs every now and then to watch his friends perform. I really hate it. You don't see me going to ANY clubs at all. I've never even been to a club. I hate the ( Read more... )

Things I should say are slightly progressing. I sat down and talked to people which I tend not to do. It really helped. I always keep things to myself when it comes to relationship problems because I dont want to sound like i'm being a bug..but this time I really needed to talk to someone. Luckily my mom and friends were there. My mom gave me some ( Read more... )

peyton is here and I love ittt!

( Read more... )

SO I havent written in a while. Alot has happened. I couldn't even tell you how far along I was whe nI last wrote in here. Anyways..iM in week 39 and my due date is excatly one week from today..may 5th. Im really really big and I wobble when I walk.Its pretty funny. But today the strangest thign happened. I got hit on all day..maybe it was the ( Read more... )

This constant game of back and forth is really starting to take its part,Its eating me away little by little.People are always telling me that im'm so strong handling all the things I go through but thats the complete opposite. I don't know what the problem is but i'm so tired of crying. Thats all I do is cry. It's not good for the baby but I fell ( Read more... )

So yes once again im mad. You know what never mind this stupidness isnt even worth my energy. My boyfriend just keeps fucking up and eventually im going to get tired..very very tired.Thats all I have to say.

PS: Im also 5 weeks today! YAY!

So I have about 5 more week sto go adn i'll be a mommy. I'm so scared but at the same time I can't wait to see her. But I really am scared now about the whole delivery thing. thats all I think about. Everytime I have a little pain or anything I think "OMG could this be it?" but its usually just gas or braxton hicks or whatever you call it (its like ( Read more... )