Thigns were bad but now slightly progressing
Things I should say are slightly progressing. I sat down and talked to people which I tend not to do. It really helped. I always keep things to myself when it comes to relationship problems because I dont want to sound like i'm being a bug..but this time I really needed to talk to someone. Luckily my mom and friends were there. My mom gave me some really good adivice, not from a "being my mother" 's prespective but just as someone looking in from the outside. I finally got the courage to try and talk to mike. The first time he thought i was trying to pull something and sisnt want to come over. So we got into it adn we ended that night mad as always. Then I called this afternoon to talk and he told me that if we try and have a "talk" and things don't seem to be getting anywhere then it would be better off that we werent together. He didnt want that, I didnt want that. So I just told him right then adn there what was on my mind. And when I look back I am really dependent on him. When it comes to my emotions, how I feel about myself, how my dady is going to go..everything. I've totally tried to mold my LIFE around him .Thats ridiculous! I used to not be like that. My hobby dosent need to be him. I don't need to be so dependent on him whenit comes to my emotions. Im in control of that. adn its complete bullshit that I let myself get into that. I need to have a life of my own first if I wanna have a life with him. I need to read a book or hang out with my friends or even just go for a walk. I don't need to be thinking 24/7 what is he doing? is he cheating? omg he hasnt called me!why? does he still love me? I can't live my life like that. Im going to worry myself to death adn im not going to be happy. I want to be happy and at some point we lost that for a bit. It was a very stressful relationship. But I think that things are good now. Things are getting better and by the grace of god they will stay this way. Not that we're never going to fight again but I dont ever want us to get to this point again.
My number one priority should be peyton. She is my new number one and I need to cater to her as her mommy...not to a grown ass man who can take care of himself. I need to prove to myself and to him that I cam not a weakling and that I can be my own person.
My number one priority should be peyton. She is my new number one and I need to cater to her as her mommy...not to a grown ass man who can take care of himself. I need to prove to myself and to him that I cam not a weakling and that I can be my own person.