Because my pain & embarassment are a constant source of entertainment....

[missnickers]

Dear Diary,
Today my father referred to me as his son.

*looks down*

*scratches head*

In conclusion: WHAT? Is there something I'm missing here? Perhaps I should have just kept this to myself and the long line of psychiatrists who will never be able to help me get past it?

Comments

[planecrashdream]

Sounds like what you need is a drink. Or 2. Or 10.

[planecrashdream]

Ok, swear to God. I just NOW after I posted that, saw the tag. LOL.

[missnickers]

ROTFL! I think you should start a Psychic Hotline.

[missnickers]

Just gimme the whole damn bottle!!! Ahhhh, that's the stuff - it stings so I know it's working. ;)

Show this icon to Dad, in case he forgot

[power12252]

No worries. I'm sure he was just referring to you as his sunshine, but then got something caught in his throat halfway through.

:)

Re: Show this icon to Dad, in case he forgot

[missnickers]

LOL! Most appropriate icon ever. Clearly a lesson in biology is in need... however, I'm to traumatized to do it.

And no, he told the lady at the rental car place that we were father & son! Father & sunshine woudn't have made sense! I knew he always wanted me to be a boy, but... damn!

Re: Show this icon to Dad, in case he forgot

[power12252]

You think he'd get it, seeing as how you exist and all, but I guess not. *sigh* Very well, I'll sit him down and bring out the sock puppets.

I could see the mistake if you had a brother or something. My parents confuse me and my bro all the time. But your dad doesn't even have any sons!! That's just......damn. Best advice I can give is to torture him relentlessly for it and milk it for all you can. Maybe you'll get some new clothes out of the deal.

Re: Show this icon to Dad, in case he forgot

[missnickers]

Are they anatomically correct sock puppets? Can I sit in on this show too, I'm very curious, myself.

That's exactly my point - I don't have any brothers for him to confuse me with! WTF?! The people at the car rental place sure had a big laugh about it at my expense. *grumble* Maybe all these years he really thought I was a boy... that would explain why he sent me to pitching school and coached all my little league & soccer games... and why he bought me an atheletic cup.

[lemonjelly_]

Ahh don't worry! My mother's always referring to me as "he". In fact, when I was born, she actually said to my dad - "Oh, it's another boy."

Actually. Maybe you should worry. Maybe I should worry.

What the hell?

I'm a girl, really. Damn, this is really messed with my head. I'm gonna go talk to my mother...

[missnickers]

Well, I can see how you're mother could be confused: As a giant coffee cup with arms and legs (and that little tuft of hair), you have no visible genitalia. I am of course referring to the fact that I *still* picture to look like a giant coffee cup with arms and legs, like the avatar you used to have on I-K.

Perhaps we should seek out therapy together? Or maybe we should just go with it? Men get paid more and they can pee standing up. That's a pretty sweet deal.

[lemonjelly_]

You make a good point. This way, we won't have to cope with that crazy Glass Ceiling that they're always telling me about in school. So that when we go for job interviews and they say, "Hmm - you aren't planning on being pregnant ever, are you?" - we can say, "No, good sir or madam (but probably sir), for I am a MAN."

It's true, as a young coffee cup, my sexual identity was always ambiguous. I felt confused during puberty when none of those things on the video happened to me. I was always last-picked for sports.

[missnickers]

Exactly! We are MEN! We the ones who built the Eiffel Tower out of steel... and brawn! I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to lifting heavy objects, not asking for directions, and not having to buy feminine hygeine products anymore. Perhaps this is why I never truly felt that I was from Venus; I always felt more of a connection with Mars.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, LJ. You hang in there, your day will come, and you will blossom into the beautiful 56 oz travel mug featured for 1.99 at the local AM/PM that I know lives deep inside you. Just wait.

[foxywriter]

LMAO!! You always said that you were a tomboy growing up...maybe your dad was slow to catch on.

How the heck did this transpire??

[missnickers]

Go ahead, laugh at my pain & suffering. XP

We took my car in today to get the front end fixed (y'know from where that crazy lady backed into me), and my dad had to put the rental on his credit card under his name. The guy asked, "What relationship are you to the driver?" to which Dad responded, "Father-Son." The guy paused and looked at me with his eyebrow raised. I looked down - boobs? Yep, still there - and then gave my dad the evil eye. The sad part is that I don't even think he would have realized he called me his son if the guy hadn't corrected him. Everyone in the rental place heard it and thought it hillarious. :(

PS - We need a nickname for my rental car. It's a 4 door gold Chevy Cobalt, sort of like Kevin. Any ideas?

[foxywriter]

PS - We need a nickname for my rental car. It's a 4 door gold Chevy Cobalt, sort of like Kevin. Any ideas?

Dude, call it Goldie...like Goldie Wilson! (And not after my late grandmother!)

I think that this car still is better than Kevin. *shudder*

I hope you guys are getting that chick to pay for the damage.

[power12252]

Goldie Wilson is DEAD!!

[rayluxuryacht]

If it makes you feel any better, people seem to think I'm a woman. Anytime I go through a drive-through window, or I'm talking to a CSR on the phone at my job, I'm always called "ma'am". I admit that I don't have husky Barry White tones, but neither do I think I sound particularly female. Now those drive-through intercoms don't exactly have the best sound quality, but there's no excuse for the calls at my job. When I get a call from a CSR, my standard greeting is "Thank you for calling Verifications, this is Keith." Now how many women do you know named Keith? Oh, well. I should have known playing Madame Defarge in my ninth grade English project would come back to haunt me.

[missnickers]

Wait. You mean... you aren't a woman?!? All this time, and I find out now like this? What else haven't you told me?! :p

You think your beard would be a give away that you weren't a woman, but I guess not... *shrug* At least it's not your own FATHER, though. Although, now that I think about it, it does explain why he's prone to calling me "Nic" and not by my full first name.

PS - Did you really play Madame Defarge?! I have the best image of you in an old woman's outfit (as per the movie, not the book) attacking your castmates with knitting needles.... XD

[rayluxuryacht]

All right, I'll come clean with you. I haven't told you that I'm living a dual life. You might know me as the mild-mannered Keith, but I'm actually the costumed crime fighter Uzbekistani Mermaid Man! You might have seen my signal in the sky. It's a search light in the shape of William Howard Taft

[missnickers]

I should have known! Your manners, they're a little too mild. Plus the fish tail & Uzbekistan flag tatoo were dead give aways. Is your one weakness a plastic 6 pack holder?

I'm trying to picture what a Taft shaped search light would look like, and this is all that's coming to my head:

Kid 1: (points to sky) Is that.... Former president Taft?
Kid 2: Either that or Batman's *really* let himself go.

Yes, yes, I like your idea! I'll use my sex change money to go buy lots of clohtes and CDs and candy.... (wow, there's a sentence I never thought I'd write!)

Hey, if you're gonna play the part of a woman, there isn't really a cooler role than Madame Defarge! But I feel your pain: Once, for a skit in drama class, I played Forrest Gump. Actually, that was my finest hour, too bad very few were around to see it. :(