Because my pain & embarassment are a constant source of entertainment....

[missnickers]

Dear Diary,
Today my father referred to me as his son.

*looks down*

*scratches head*

In conclusion: WHAT? Is there something I'm missing here? Perhaps I should have just kept this to myself and the long line of psychiatrists who will never be able to help me get past it?

Comments

[rayluxuryacht]

All right, I'll come clean with you. I haven't told you that I'm living a dual life. You might know me as the mild-mannered Keith, but I'm actually the costumed crime fighter Uzbekistani Mermaid Man! You might have seen my signal in the sky. It's a search light in the shape of William Howard Taft.

That is truly embarrassing about your father, though. That's just plain baffling. You don't have any brothers, so he shouldn't exactly be used to thinking of anybody as his son. Well, if your dad really wanted you to be a boy, here's what you do. Tell him how much you love him and that you'll do anything to please him, then say all he has to do is give you the money for a sex change operation. Then take the money and go spend it on something else. That'll show him.

Yes, I really did play Madame Defarge. We were doing projects in my lit class for A Tale of Two Cities, and my group made a video for its project. Of course, my group had no girls in it, so one of us guys had to be Madame Defarge, and I was the one who got cast in the role. It could have worse, I guess; at least I didn't have to be Lucie Manette.

[missnickers]

I should have known! Your manners, they're a little too mild. Plus the fish tail & Uzbekistan flag tatoo were dead give aways. Is your one weakness a plastic 6 pack holder?

I'm trying to picture what a Taft shaped search light would look like, and this is all that's coming to my head:

Kid 1: (points to sky) Is that.... Former president Taft?
Kid 2: Either that or Batman's *really* let himself go.

Yes, yes, I like your idea! I'll use my sex change money to go buy lots of clohtes and CDs and candy.... (wow, there's a sentence I never thought I'd write!)

Hey, if you're gonna play the part of a woman, there isn't really a cooler role than Madame Defarge! But I feel your pain: Once, for a skit in drama class, I played Forrest Gump. Actually, that was my finest hour, too bad very few were around to see it. :(

[rayluxuryacht]

Please... don't ever mention plastic six-pack holders to me. My friend Ariel met with an unfortunate accident involving one of them. She's okay now, but she was really creeped out by some things she saw in that hospital during her brief stay there. Even now, I still get panicked phone calls in the middle of the night screaming, "That pig! What on earth was wrong with THAT PIG???"

And I guess you're right about Madame Defarge. She's one of the classic characters in literature, plus I got to scowl all through my role. My classmates weren't sure whether I was scowling because I was in character, or whether I was upset I had to play a woman. Forrest Gump, though... it's got to be really difficult to maintain dignity in that one. Perhaps it was your amazing performance in that role that made your dad think you were a boy.