Who Ya Gonna Call?

[missnickers]

I know I joke around a lot on here, but I'd like to speak to you all seriously for a moment. I have a big problem, and I need help. I'm at my wits end, and I just don't know what to do anymore. So I'm coming to you all for wisdom & advice, hoping - no begging for your advice, LJ friends

Comments

The struggles of a fat leader of the free world

[power12252]

On March 8, 1930, Taft died from complications of heart disease, high blood pressure, and inflammation of the bladder.Don't you see? Taft's bladder was inflamed. The man couldn't pee, so he exploded and died. This makes perfect sense. Now, as a ghost, he is probably overcompensating and just going into other people's bathrooms to relieve himself at every given opportunity. The only question that remains is why he chooses to use the sink instead of the toilet. My guess is 1) since he can't actually touch anything as a ghost, he can't lift your toilet seat up. He wants to be a gentelmen and doesn't want to leave little drops on your seat, or 2) the fat ass simply can't bend over to get down to the can, so the sink is his only option. I believe those hairs are simply from his, ummmm, region from when he is relieving himself

Note to self: stock up on Drain-O

[missnickers]

OMG, MAX! OF COURSE! I don't know why I didn't see it before... it all makes perfect sense! I don't quite understand why Taft has made such an attatchment to ME and MY sink (he never pops a squat on K's sink!), but I guess that's beside the point.

But I still need to figure out a way to get rid of him - benign spirit or no, I don't like the thought of something defacating in my sink! We have to find a way to appease him, so that he can move on... What do you think Taft wants the most?

You really think people would be interested in buying Taft's pubes on ebay? I thought about it, I won't lie. Good thing I swept them into a platic baggy (CSI style) and saved them... they could be the lucky rabbits feet of the next generation. Soon everyone will be stroking their Taft pubes for good luck! (and we'll be rich, so long as Taft doesn't mind being exploited)

Damn good idea. Your life may just depend on it

[power12252]

I don't quite understand why Taft has made such an attatchment to ME and MY sink

Perhaps b/c you keep your bathroom so minty fresh. No foul odors of any kind. :p

Getting rid of him should be easy. He's a very proud man (being a President and chief justice), so you should humiliate him. Just do what we used to do in the ol' camp days. Cover your sink in plastic wrap. When he hovers over to pee, it will splash off and hit him in the face. Boom, no more Taft.

If I don't make it out alive, I want you to take good care of Little i for me

[missnickers]

Hmmmm. Well my sink does smell of pine. Did Taft grow up in Oregon, by any chance?

ROTFL, yes, I'll put cling wrap on my sink! That's brilliant! And while he's moaning in rage at having been tricked, Kristen can trap him in a tupperware container.

And if that doesn't work, I'll just bribe him with a a free coupon for all you can eat buffet night at the Sizzler. Or porn...

[foxywriter]

Ya know, in an episode of "Ghost Hunters" from last season, this guy's house was haunted by a spirit that pitched a fit whenever he brought a "lady friend" over. Heh heh. Just thought I'd mention that.

(And I stand by the stair noises as my imagination.)

[missnickers]

LOL! That's my greatest fear - what if Taft considers us a couple, seeing as how we share a room & bathroom? For all I know, this could make us common-law married! :-O I don't want Taft chasin away my honeys.

Just wait til objects start moving or the walls start bleeding... you can't blame *that* on your imagination!

Dude, C and I have just had the most random discussion on AIM about designing "FINE Kentucky Red Eye" shirts for us. Max wants one, and you need one too! They'll have a bucking horse on them, in memory of Buford's lost steed and also because FKRE is like the viagra of the old west. Right C?

[timewanderer]

I don't know if I can help you. But I did find these song lyrics online:

The Bathroom Ghost - John Abney & Ian McCarthy - 2005

Turn on the fan is my advice

You never know when to expect the bathroom ghost

Slippery spooks don't get no respect

Until the tub begins to overflow

And when my sister tells me, "Hurry up"

Her dreamboat is dropping by

The one she loves the most

I tell her, "Leah, don't be mad at me

"Blame the bathroom ghost"

(chorus or bridge)

Gonna be a rumble on Christmas eve

And the one I wind up believing in will be the one that leaves the most

I'll be leaving out cookies for Santa

But I'll expect the bathroom ghost

(chorus or bridge)

That's not my hair in the sink

It wasn't me that left that awful stink

I picked up my towel

I lifted the lid and put it back down

I flushed twice

And I'm not the one who spilled grandpa's Old Spice

It was the bathroom ghost

Creepy.

[missnickers]

ROTFL, holy crap there's a *song* about this?!?! I suppose I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who's bathroom is haunted. Only instead of grandpa's spilled Old Spice, I get a little black hair happy trail. :O

[power12252]

The Nicole I know is never scared of a happy trail. Rip that sucker OUT!!

[missnickers]

There ain't a happy trail been grown that Nicole can't pull out! RAWR!

You're never going to let me forget the happy trail incident, are you? I should learn to keep my big mouth shut....

[planecrashdream]

I really don't mean to seem insensitive, but because you are such a jokster most of the time, I am even finding humor in THIS. I find it so amusing that you have a perfectly appropriate icon for any and EVERY situation. Including this one.

That said, I believe in ghosts (only those w/ unfinished business, though) and I'm a religious person. ..And I'm drawing a blank about what to actually DO about them.

[missnickers]

Lesson 1: MissNickers is *all* about the icon coordination! ;) I've actually been saving the Ghostbusters one for an opportunity such as this - FINALLY I got the chance to use it!

Don't feel bad about finding this funny, I wasn't really serious about thinking my appartment's haunted. The mysterious hair and noises are REAL, but the post (and pleads of sincerety) was me joking around. I keep thinking there must be some rational explaination, but I haven't found it yet. My roommate is really into hauntings and even belongs to a club of "ghost hunters," and I keep trying to convince her to get them over here to examine the appartment... but she won't do it. :(

[theflhurricane]

Ok - Dash is going to be logical here for a sec...

Is there a vent of some kind blowing toward your sink (suction fans too)??? If so, check and see if behind it or the intake elsewhere is a filter of sorts. If so, I'd be willing to bet the coarse fibers from your sink match those on the filter. =D

[missnickers]

Oh, Dash! There you go being all logical and ruining my fun!!! I liked pretending my bathroom area was haunted by the ghost of a (portly) dead president! :P

Let's leave aside the *real* cause of the black hairs and think of crazy/inappropriate ways to get rid of an evil spirit!

[theflhurricane]

Oh I was planning on that - Just thought I'd help you solve your real problem in the mean time.

As for Taft, just fix him an irrisistable bath. He will get in and get stuck. Just send him down the drain and voila!!! problem solved.

[missnickers]

Actually, I think the vents are the problem. That's at least the conclusion I came up with, too- and it's the only thing that makes sense, unless someone is breaking into my appartment when I'm not home and combing their hair... Now let us never speak of the *real* reason again! :p

LOL!! Okay, I'll try the bath trick... But if he gets stuck for good, and I have to *bathe* with him, I'm going to be really pissed! Do you think he likes bath salts? Should I light some candles and put on some music? Set the scene?