Who Ya Gonna Call?
I know I joke around a lot on here, but I'd like to speak to you all seriously for a moment. I have a big problem, and I need help. I'm at my wits end, and I just don't know what to do anymore. So I'm coming to you all for wisdom & advice, hoping - no begging for your advice, LJ friends
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Don't you see? Taft's bladder was inflamed. The man couldn't pee, so he exploded and died. This makes perfect sense. Now, as a ghost, he is probably overcompensating and just going into other people's bathrooms to relieve himself at every given opportunity. The only question that remains is why he chooses to use the sink instead of the toilet. My guess is 1) since he can't actually touch anything as a ghost, he can't lift your toilet seat up. He wants to be a gentelmen and doesn't want to leave little drops on your seat, or 2) the fat ass simply can't bend over to get down to the can, so the sink is his only option. I believe those hairs are simply from his, ummmm, region from when he is relieving himself.
So I wouldn't worry. He has no interest in you, only your facilities. As long as your apartment's plumbing is in order, you will be just fine. But if your sink clogs up and Taft once again finds himself unable to go, you will anger the beast and then lord knows what will happen. :-O
Dude, you should save those Presidential Pubes and sell them on ebay. They must be worth a fortune, you could quit law school and retire in Hawaii.
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But I still need to figure out a way to get rid of him - benign spirit or no, I don't like the thought of something defacating in my sink! We have to find a way to appease him, so that he can move on... What do you think Taft wants the most?
You really think people would be interested in buying Taft's pubes on ebay? I thought about it, I won't lie. Good thing I swept them into a platic baggy (CSI style) and saved them... they could be the lucky rabbits feet of the next generation. Soon everyone will be stroking their Taft pubes for good luck! (and we'll be rich, so long as Taft doesn't mind being exploited)
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Perhaps b/c you keep your bathroom so minty fresh. No foul odors of any kind. :p
Getting rid of him should be easy. He's a very proud man (being a President and chief justice), so you should humiliate him. Just do what we used to do in the ol' camp days. Cover your sink in plastic wrap. When he hovers over to pee, it will splash off and hit him in the face. Boom, no more Taft.
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ROTFL, yes, I'll put cling wrap on my sink! That's brilliant! And while he's moaning in rage at having been tricked, Kristen can trap him in a tupperware container.
And if that doesn't work, I'll just bribe him with a a free coupon for all you can eat buffet night at the Sizzler. Or porn...
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