Oh, it certainly has been. It was one of those days during which I had too many cigarettes, one of those days that Florestan and Eusebius eclipsed one another, and the grass was soft, hot, wet, soothing and sick ( Read more... )

It's like torque, in that it moves slowly and the friction is ceaseless. Friction is energy, energy is heat. I've been red hot for so long, so much energy being wasted simply to manifest itself in some useless way, all that energy is only serving to melt me. I am tired. I am useless, malformed, beyond recognition, even to myself. I am letting

It frightens me how simple it all is right now. After so much shit, the facts are as real and cold and hard as my bathroom floor.

You win, and I lose.

There's nothing more than that. I can never want more, nor can I expect less.

If even that victory meant something to you...

I haven't written in a while. Since my last post I have gone vegan, and made little to no progress on my keyboard technique. My birthday went by, and my parents bought me a clavichord kit. I've made little to no progress on that as well ( Read more... )

Lebanon, Virginia is a terribly boring place. There are three or four restaurants, a bunch of hills, and enough cows to warrant fear of a rebellion.

I wish I knew why I can't stop coughing.

I wish my house would burn down. I can't sit here much longer, it's making me sick. My hands and my back are sore, and I can't find a shirt that fits right. I need this damn school year to be over. I need to learn how to be happy alone. I need to learn how to feel optimistic against my own judgment ( Read more... )

Everything is reflective. I find the strength to stand back up and I can see myself in the chipped paint on the walls, in the linens of my shirt, in the black keys on my piano and in the few centimeters of sugary water remaining at the bottom of a used iced-coffee cup. Last night, I punched through the wall, and jumped back into the cold water, ( Read more... )

fugues fugues fugues fugues fugues fugues fugues fugues fugues fugues are fugues are fugues fugues are fugues fugues are fugues are fugues fugues are fugues fugues are fugues are fugues fugues are fugues fugues are fugues are fugues fugues are fugues cool cool cool are fugues are are fugues fugues cool cool fugues cool are SO ( Read more... )

I need to drive. I need to go somewhere. I'm being squished.

I need a drink.