tHrEe; phone | forward-dated to friday the 19th

[miraculls]

[So with Jade having drunk one bottle of milk and Karkat two, Gamzee's finally managed to pay attention for long enough to put his foot down and demand that this morning's share be given to him. After all, with the mirthful messiahs watching over him, what's the worst that could happen

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[Phone]

[sturmbahnfurher]

Well.

That's quite dependent on what you can or believe you should do.

[miraculls]

Hahahaha.

I GOT ALL MY MOTHERFUCKIN' FAITH THAT THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS

will all up and show me a light

BY WHICH I CAN PERFORM THEIR MOTHERFUCKIN' BLOODCIRCUS MIRACLES WITH.

[sturmbahnfurher]

Ah, a man of faith!

And yet, friend, are you sure you need but wait for the light? Perhaps, in times of need, it is better to go and find the light yourself, instead of waiting.

[miraculls]

Hahaha, maybe you're right.

MAYBE IT'S ABOUT TIME I SHOW THESE BLASPHEMOUS FOUL ELIXER MOTHERFUCKERS

just who the fuck it is they're all messing with.

phone;

[cueballer]

Ah. If it isn't the Bard.

[miraculls]

If you all up and got something to say to me,

THEN MOTHERFUCKIN SPIT THOSE WORDS OUT YOUR TALKFLAP, MOTHERFUCKER.

Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

[cueballer]

How goes the clown religion?

[miraculls]

It be going just fine, motherfucker.

AS FINE AS THE MURDEROUS PARADE OF MOTHERFUCKIN' BLOODHARSH MIRACLES

that I'm going to be raining down on these townleaders here.

[crusthatecean]

[When Karkat hears the commotion down in the kitchen, he comes running right away, thinking Gamzee's gotten fucked up on the milk and hurt himself somehow.

He walks in just in time to hear this, and freezes in the doorway.]

[miraculls]

[Gamzee turns and smiles, slow and wide.]

Hey, motherfuckin' best friend.

YOU AS FED UP WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKIN' UNFUNNIEST SHENANIGANS AS I AM?

[crusthatecean]

Oh god. Oh man.

Please don't do this. Please, Gamzee.

[miraculls]

Do what, brother?

DO MOTHERFUCKIN WHAT?

Watch all my friends die from THE MOST FOUL AND DISGUSTING OF BREWS like the saddest of motherfuckin' punchlines IN A NEVERENDING VAST JOKE OF THE UNFUNNIEST DEGREE?

Because I ain't down with that, best friend.

AIN'T MOTHERFUCKIN' DOWN WITH BEING THE BUTT OF THE WORST MOTHERFUCKIN' JOKE I EVER DONE HEARD.

phone

[foretastes]

Gamz, what. Hahaha! Is this part of your clown thing?

[miraculls]

Sure is, sister.

GONNA BE DELIVERING THE MOTHERFUCKIN' PUNCHLINE TO THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS IN CHARGE

until they ain't got no more holes left to be laughing with.

[foretastes]

[long pause.]

...Okay! Need any help with that?

[cheerful, casual. but something had been wrong with Karkat before- and now, it seems, there's something wrong with Gamzee too.]

[miraculls]

I already got all the motherfuckin' miracles I need.

BUT IF YOU WANT TO MOTHERFUCKIN' UP AND JOIN THE BLOODCIRCUS

then I ain't gonna be saying no to my fine sister.

HONK.

[frogst]

[ Jade has no idea what to do right now. She hadn't wanted him to drink anything, driven by her guilt and stubborness, but that same guilt was also the reason she had finally yielded.

Now she only hopes she can keep an eye on him, preferring that he hurt things instead of people, instead of himself. She's cleaning up some of the wreckage when she overhears his phone call. ]

Um, Gamzee?

[miraculls]

[Seeing Jade just makes him angrier, because fuck, she shouldn't have had to die, not when she got panscrubbed too, it wasn't motherfucking fair and those motherfuckers were just fucking with everyone now--]

Hey, hivesis.

THERE A MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEM?

[frogst]

[ She thought it was fair. If anything it helped ease some of her guilt, made her feel her karmic scale was a little more balanced.

She offers a small, kind smile, setting aside what she's been picking up as she approaches. ]

Well, sort of. It just seems like the milk put you in a pretty bad mood, so I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help.

[miraculls]

Only way to motherfuckin' help

IS TO MAKE ALL THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' ATROCIOUSNESS STOP.

I ain't wanting see any of my friends get hurt no more.

AND I BE MOTHERFUCKIN' TIRED OF JUST WAITING FOR IT TO END.