tHrEe; phone | forward-dated to friday the 19th

[miraculls]

[So with Jade having drunk one bottle of milk and Karkat two, Gamzee's finally managed to pay attention for long enough to put his foot down and demand that this morning's share be given to him. After all, with the mirthful messiahs watching over him, what's the worst that could happen

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[crusthatecean]

[When Karkat hears the commotion down in the kitchen, he comes running right away, thinking Gamzee's gotten fucked up on the milk and hurt himself somehow.

He walks in just in time to hear this, and freezes in the doorway.]

[miraculls]

[Gamzee turns and smiles, slow and wide.]

Hey, motherfuckin' best friend.

YOU AS FED UP WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKIN' UNFUNNIEST SHENANIGANS AS I AM?

[crusthatecean]

Oh god. Oh man.

Please don't do this. Please, Gamzee.

[miraculls]

Do what, brother?

DO MOTHERFUCKIN WHAT?

Watch all my friends die from THE MOST FOUL AND DISGUSTING OF BREWS like the saddest of motherfuckin' punchlines IN A NEVERENDING VAST JOKE OF THE UNFUNNIEST DEGREE?

Because I ain't down with that, best friend.

AIN'T MOTHERFUCKIN' DOWN WITH BEING THE BUTT OF THE WORST MOTHERFUCKIN' JOKE I EVER DONE HEARD.

[crusthatecean]

I can't fucking handle this again.

[Karkat feels terrified right now, recognizing in Gamzee the person he eventually turned into. But it's also not as bad as it was before. He's not talking about hurting anyone except the people who hurt his friends for one thing. But for another, some of that vascular-system halting terror that he had felt the second Gamzee had begun talking to him wasn't here. But he doesn't want to let this happen, either. He has to try to fix this somehow.]

Did something else happen?

[miraculls]

What, hivesis dying ain't enough?

AIN'T MOTHERFUCKIN' ENOUGH THAT THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS BE PLAYING US LIKE A BUNCH OF MOTHERFUCKIN' GRUBS?

But they all up and made a mistake.

MADE A MOTHERFUCKIN' MISTAKE BY LETTING ME CHOKE DOWN THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' SICKNASTY BREW

what filled me with the motherfuckin' insight to their unholiest of games.

[crusthatecean]

The milk did this?

[Well. That's a relief. He just has to make sure it wears off before Gamzee hurts anyone.]

Okay. You're right, I really fucking hate these guys. But you're weirding me out like this.

[miraculls]

Then let's MOTHERFUCKIN' DO SOMETHING before someone else has to drink their motherfuckin' nasty shit AND BITE THE MOTHERFUCKIN' DUST AGAIN because I can't watch you or hivesis or any of my motherfuckin' friends die over and motherfuckin' over again, and if I've got to get my subjugglate on to stop it then THAT'S HOW IT'S MOTHERFUCKIN' GOT TO BE!

[He punctuates his rant by smashing his bat into a nearby window, ignoring the glass shards flying everywhere.]

[crusthatecean]

I've been doing everything I can! There's nothing else to fucking do! So calm the fuck down, because you're just making shit worse by doing this!

[He considers going over there to try and stop him from smashing things, but he's not confident that won't get him hit as well, so he stands back.]

[miraculls]

[Gamzee stares at him for a few seconds before promptly bursting into angry tears.

This is probably more terrifying than the rage.]

[crusthatecean]

[Yeah, that definitely wasn't what he'd been expecting to happen. He approaches him cautiously. Not because he's afraid of being pummeled by a bat, but because he's massively uncomfortable with this and doesn't know what to do or say. He kind of just awkwardly puts a hand on Gamzee's arm.]

Okay, okay, don't cry. I'm sorry.

[miraculls]

[sniffing and hiccuping everywhere like a three sweeps old wriggler...yeah, Gamzee doesn't really cry ever, so this is a very interesting and new experience for him and he's not quite sure how to deal with it]

Fuck, I just want everyone to be motherfuckin' okay, I hate seeing all you motherfuckers get hurt and shit....

[crusthatecean]

...Yeah. Me too. It's not going to last too much longer.

[He has no way of knowing if that's true, but he hopes it is. None of the really bad things that have happened have lasted too long. He starts trying to kind of gently push Gamzee out of the room.]

Come on, let's take a break from hitting shit with bats. It's going to take fucking forever to clean up.

[miraculls]

You really think so? [THIS FACE]

[He lets himself be pushed out, glancing around the devastated room]

...shit, did I motherfuckin' do that?

[crusthatecean]

Sure. This shit never lasts long.

[While he's being compliant, trying to take the bat out of his hand while he steers him to the couch.]

You motherfuckin' did, but don't worry about it. I've already decided which asshole has to fix it. I'll give you a hint, he wears shitty clown make up all the time.

[miraculls]

[no the bat is his best friend he will cling onto the bat forever even though he's already forgotten he's carrying it around]

Uhhhh...naw, I don't get it. Who?