The World Has It's Shine (something to hold onto) 12
Title: The World Has It's Shine (something to hold onto) - part 12
Author: minus_four
Rating: R overall
Pairing: Gabilliam
POV: 3rd
Summary: Around 16 months. He looked so tiny on the mattress so much bigger than his crib at home, William thought as his eyes traveled over his son, taking in everything from his half-closed eyes; looking just like they did when he was just falling asleep on top of William’s chest, to the IV that was steadily dripping fluids into Riley’s body
Disclaimer: This only happened in my brain (as far as I know). Title belongs to Cobra Starship.
Author Notes: Dudes if you read this and don't comment you're gonna make Riley cry, you mean mean people! Yeah, so I tried to not leave it too long :)
One.Two. Three.Four.Five.Six.Seven.Eight.Nine. Ten. Eleven.
“What exactly did she say?” Gabe sighed as he got silence in return after asking that question for the second time since they’d gotten in the cab. Actually, William hadn’t said a word since they’d left the restaurant, as if Gabe needed anything else to add to the pure dread that had flooded his system the second he’d heard the word ‘hospital’. “Bill,” Gabe leaned over and reached up to curl a hand around William’s neck. The other boy was facing away from Gabe, staring out the window as they drove. “Bilvy please, you gotta talk to me.”
“I can’t,” when William finally spoke the words were so quiet Gabe could barely hear them, but he just kept his fingers stroking softly at the back of William’s neck until the younger man turned to make eye contact at last; unshed tears that were only just being kept under control making those dark brown eyes seem even bigger than usual. “If I say it out loud, then it’s real.”
Just the look on William’s face was enough to push Gabe that little further, make his heart feel like it was clenching, like a little more pressure could make him break.
No, Gabe used that one word to snap himself out of it before he let himself spiral downwards. Breaking was the easy option; so much so Gabe almost wanted to break, give in to the fear and let his emotions control him. The hard part was staying in control, keeping his rationality and staying strong. Thinking about Riley being hurt, or sick… it was just about killing Gabe but he had to hold it together for William, because the situation really was killing the young father sat next to him, Gabe knew.
“Bilvy,” Gabe took a breath before speaking again, his words gentle but firm; deliberate. “This is real. And it’s hard, and scary, but we’re going to deal with it, okay? Just tell me what Sheila said on the phone.”
“Not much, really,” Bill swallowed hard, moving his hand to link his fingers with Gabe’s. “She just said that he had this sudden high fever, and - and this rash or something, and she said that it was more like a precaution than anything, so we shouldn’t - we shouldn’t worry,” William bit his lip after reciting the words which had been burned into his memory by the intensity of the circumstances he’d found himself in just a minute or two after being so happy; his worst nightmare, or at least the possibility of it.
Really, the uncertainty was the worst thing. Not knowing much about the situation, not being there when it happened, being stuck in a cab when he should be there, it all gave way for William’s imagination to run wild and produce dozens of scenarios in his mind, each of them worse than the last.
“How can I not worry?” William shook his head at Gabe; biting back the bizarre urge to laugh that had fleetingly risen in his chest. “I mean -”
“Bill - Bill just try and relax, please,” Gabe was almost pleading with William, carding his free hand through the younger man’s hair in an attempt to help him calm down a little. It was understandable, obviously, but Gabe could see Bill getting distraught, close to panicking even, and that wasn’t exactly going to help anything. “We don’t even know what’s wrong yet, it really could be nothing.”
“Exactly,” William’s voice was still anxious, now tinged with a kind of bitter anger but even as he spoke he leaned back until his head was resting on Gabe’s shoulder. “Could. Might. We don’t know anything,” he finished, willing the buildings outside to pass faster, bring them closer to Riley, but really only seeing one thing in front of his eyes, over and over...
“Riley Beckett,” William said the second they reached the desk at the ER. “He’s -”
“William,” they both turned to see Sheila walking towards them looking anxious but, as Gabe was also glad to see, with an air of keeping calm and in control.
“Where’s Riley?” he didn’t even say greet Sheila, just ran straight into asking all the questions he’d been desperate to since that phone call. “Do they know anything? I have to -”
“William honey, you have to calm down,” she said firmly, putting each of her small hands in his. “I’m going to show you where he is, and you can talk to the doctor, alright?”
William just nodded as Sheila literally led him down a corridor by the hand, not really trusting himself to speak just then, not with everything still buzzing around his head. After what seemed like an age of walking down hallways, past different people and activities that were just a blur to William, unimportant like every single thing right then that wasn’t his son, they finally reached a section Bill assumed (judging by the Disney characters that suddenly adorned every wall; all the cute little creatures he so did not appreciate just then) was Pediatrics.
And then, all at once without him really noticing, William found himself standing in front of a window looking past the blinds into the room where Riley was lying on a bed. He looked so tiny on the mattress so much bigger than his crib at home, William thought as his eyes traveled over his son, taking in everything from his half-closed eyes; looking just like they did when he was falling asleep on top of William’s chest, to the IV that was steadily dripping fluids into Riley’s body. The needle stood out from his skin, so harsh and just unnatural that it simply turned William’s stomach, even though he knew it was only helping him.
“What happened?” William turned to look at Sheila. “I mean, did something happen?”
“He just kept being fussy the whole time, and not eating anything. Then he suddenly felt really warm to me, so I called your doctor and she said to just keep an eye on it for a while, wait and see. I didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily,” she kept explaining, pretty calmly Gabe thought, considering the look of worry on William’s face. “So I did what she said, just kept him drinking and everything but then -” Sheila paused, knowing she had to tell William everything but not wanting to cause the boy any more hurt than he was already in, “then he had a - a seizure.”
“A seizure?” William repeated, his heart suddenly beating hard enough for him to feel it in his chest.
“It was just a few seconds, really, but then I called 911, and then you,” Sheila told him. “He was awake afterwards, he seemed okay, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. The paramedics told me that kind of thing happens a lot in kids with fevers.”
“Thank you,” Gabe said, hoping his eyes could convey his gratefulness in Sheila not only taking care of Riley, but helping him to keep Bill as calm about everything as possible, too.
“You know you don’t need to thank me,” Sheila replied, reaching up to touch William’s shoulder. “I just - can I do anything for you? Can I help at all? Anything.”
“You’ve done enough,” William shook his head, making a half decent attempt at a smile. “You should get back to John - he’ll be wondering where you are.”
“He will at that,” Sheila nodded, wavering between whether they might really need her and whether she’d be overstepping her bounds; forcing herself on them. Then she looked at Gabe and the decision was made at seeing all the support William could really need, right there with him. “You need anything, or learn anything -”
“We’ll call. Promise,” William bent down to give the much shorter woman a hug before she left with a small wave, still fighting her automatic maternal instinct towards William.
Without saying anything else William simply turned again to resume his watch through the window of Riley’s room, the feeling of pure helplessness almost overwhelming him as he did the only thing he could do just then; wait as he watched some nameless doctor and nurse busying themselves in Riley’s room.
For the moment Gabe stayed silent as well, just slipping his hand into William’s while he tried to take it in himself. His grip on William served two purposes, really. Of course Gabe wanted, needed to give him whatever comfort he could, but Gabe also knew that Bill was desperate to get into that room, even though they didn’t know if that was okay yet, or anything really.
His fingers entwined with William’s were just enough to keep the younger man grounded, keep him from rushing into Riley’s room and disturbing those in there from whatever they were doing, which probably wouldn’t have been the best thing.
“He doesn’t know these people, at all. They’re complete strangers to him, Gabe. What if - What if he’s scared?” William asked without looking at Gabe, the fear evident in his own voice as he raised his free hand to rest lightly on the glass in front of him.
“He looks like he’s just sleeping, Bill, and I’m sure they’ll let you in there soon, so -” he just managed not to really flinch or make a sound when William’s fingers suddenly tightened painfully around his own as the doctor shifted around the bed, revealing the tray the nurse was holding containing several syringes. “It’s okay Bilvy,” Gabe just stroked his thumb over William’s knuckles as he tried to reassure him, getting only a huffed response from the younger male, still staring hard through the glass. “It’ll be okay,” Gabe tried once more, keeping his eyes on William as he suddenly hung his head with a sigh before looking up at Gabe.
“Yeah,” he breathed out, managing the tiniest upward movement of one corner of his lips, something that in another time might have at least come close to a smile. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” he said quietly, turning to lean his body against Gabe’s and breathing out a sigh of relief as he let the older man wrap his arms around him.
“Don’t be sorry,” Gabe whispered in his ear, lips finding their way through chestnut hair to place one kiss on William’s neck. “I know you’re in hell right now, so you say whatever you need to say to get through it, yeah?” Gabe put his hands on Bill’s shoulders and eased the other male back so he could meet his eyes, make him understand that he was right there with him.
“I love you, so much,” William replied before turning back to check on Riley only to find his doctor walking up to them.
“Are you -”
“I’m Riley’s father, yes. Sorry. I just -” William ran his hand though his hair nervously as the doctor just gestured that he understood. Suddenly all the questions he’d wanted to ask vanished from his mind just as the source of all the answers stood in front of them. “What - I mean, do you -” William stumbled over his words again as his breathing started to get shaky once more.
“Can you tell us what’s wrong?” Gabe spoke into the following silence, earning a grateful squeeze from Bill’s fingers in his.
“The symptoms suggest an infection of some sort, and at this point we’re inclined to think it may be meningitis,” the doctor explained whilst William just tightened his grip a little on Gabe’s hand. The lack of a straightforward answer was… frustrating, for want of a more intense word. He wanted to know, he didn’t want words like inclined and may be for fuck’s sake.
“And how serious is that?” William asked, biting back the sarcastic repetitions of the doctor’s words he so wanted to let out. The man was just doing his job, after all, he reminded himself.
“That depends on what type of meningitis it is - if in fact it is meningitis,” oh, and it took all of William’s will power to suppress one really good eye roll at that moment. “Viral meningitis is the lesser type of infection, one that your child” he has a name, William growled inside his head as Gabe started stroking calming motions down Bill’s knuckles again, it’s Riley “will probably be able to fight off on his own, with plenty of fluids and rest and so on. However, Bacterial meningitis is more serious.”
“Serious, how?” William kept his answers short, not completely trusting his own mouth to behave itself just then.
“It requires strong antibiotics, extremely close observation, and although this is still curable eighty five percent of the time -”
“Fifteen percent isn’t,” William cut in, his tone almost angry, just at the situation, just at the fact that this was happening at all.
“Yes,” came the simple response, the doctor having had years of experience learning that at times like this, someone had to be blamed and it was more often than not going to be him. “There are also more risks of complications, but I’ll go through that with you later. Right now I need you to sign these consent forms to allow us to take blood and urine samples, as well as spinal fluid.”
“Spinal fluid?” Gabe spoke before he could catch himself, shock and disbelief clear in his tone.
“You’re putting a needle in his spine,” it wasn’t a question, just recognition from William at what needed to be done, though it didn’t keep his voice from shaking slightly.
“It’s the only way to really confirm meningitis,” the doctor said almost apologetically, handing William the forms. “The good news is that meningitis isn’t really contagious - the bacteria are everywhere really, and there’s no real reason why some people contract the infection and others don’t. So you can go in and be with him now, as long as you don’t come into such close contact as kissing him, sharing drinks or spoons or anything, and things like that.”
William barely waited for the man to finish speaking before thrusting the forms back at him and practically running into Riley’s room, immediately kneeling by the bed so he could reach out and softly stroke his hand over the toddler’s hair.
“Hey baby boy,” he spoke the words softly as Gabe knelt on the other side, just watching for now as William talked to Riley. “You really know how to make a scene, don’t you? Eh? What’s this then, scare tactics? I’m not getting you a pony, you know,” William leaned over to plant a gentle kiss on Riley’s hand, finding his son’s big brown eyes staring at him when he pulled back. “There you are,” he smiled for the first time since getting Sheila’s phone call. “How you doing, Ry, how you feeling?” William just kept murmuring the words to Riley while he stroked his hair, just hoping the contact was enough to comfort his son.
“Dada,” Riley said quietly, before rolling his head over to his other side as if instinctually looking for Gabe. “Pa.”
“Yeah relu, Papi’s here too,” Gabe smiled as Riley closed his tiny hand around Gabe’s thumb before he started to drift off to sleep again.
Determined to be there for Riley, William had insisted on staying for the spinal tap, though it turned out to be a good thing Gabe was actually the one doing any substantial holding of the infant, as William fled the room to empty the contents of his stomach in a nearby trash can at the first tiny whimper Riley had made. Luckily, that seemed pretty much the extent of Riley’s reactions otherwise Gabe might have been joining him - not that he'd shared that bit of information with William.
“He was such a brave boy,” Gabe said to William as his boyfriend joined him on the little couch near Riley’s bed, the two of them just watching the infant sleep for a while, Bill’s eyes fixed right on the tiny movements of his chest. He’d already been doing it for nearly two hours now, but he couldn’t have looked away even if he’d wanted to - that is until a sudden wave of realization hit him and William instantly sat up to look at Gabe, who’s own eyes went wide with shock and confusion.
“Bill -”
“Pete Wentz!” William yelled before wincing as he looked back to check Riley was still sleeping.
“Yeah,” Gabe said slowly.
“You have to go! He might still be there - or something…” he trailed off with a sigh as he really thought about the time and simultaneously really looked at the expression on Gabe’s face.
“I called Ryland right after we got here,” Gabe told him. “So he could try and contact the people. I don’t know, the last thing we want is for him to think that Pete Wentz coming to our show wasn’t important to us.”
“But, it was important. It is, and you… God Gabe,” William sighed. “Fuck,” he said right under his breath, just in case. “You should’ve -”
“Nope,” Gabe cut in, shaking his head. “There’s just no way I could have run out on you - both of you - to do a damn show, even a show for The Pete Wentz,” he said slightly teasingly, remembering William’s reaction just that afternoon, though it seemed like forever ago now. “And they’ll be other chances,” Gabe shrugged, shooting for nonchalance, but William knew him better than that; knew just how much this chance had meant to him, and therefore exactly how much more he and Riley must have meant.
“You don’t know that,” William said quietly, curling up on the tiny sofa and into Gabe’s chest, the older man’s arms automatically settling around his body. “So I just need to thank you for this, okay? You have no idea how it makes me feel.”
“Oh, I might have some idea,” Gabe smiled as he kissed the top of Bill’s head. “And anyway, as I see it - either The-Pete-Wentz will understand that my so- that Riley was sick, or he’s a son of b-i-t-c-h that I have no interest in working with anyway,” he punctuated the statement with a kind of ‘so there’ noise that made William smile.
“Did I mention that I love you?” he turned in Gabe’s arms and looked up into his eyes.
“Couple times today,” Gabe replied, a smile tugging at his own lips, “but it never hurts to hear it once more.”
Just as Gabe began to lean down so he could kiss William the door opened, making the younger man jump immediately to his feet. Not because he was embarrassed about Gabe, but because he knew what the doctor was holding in his hands.
“The test results show” as soon as the man had said those words William was already breathing out a sigh of relief at the pleased look on the doctor’s face, signaling his next words to be good news, “viral meningitis. Which means” he continued at the wide eyed look of expectance and just needing to know right the fuck now on William’s face, “that you guys can go home tomorrow morning, just as long as you keep an eye on everything and treat it like you would a case of flu; lots of fluids, plenty of -” whatever there should be plenty of then pretty much got lost as Bill practically launched himself onto the doctor, hugging him as tightly as he could.
Thank God, Gabe really did send up a silent prayer of thanks as he bent down to kiss the top of Riley’s head, before whispering in the infant’s ear.
“I’d choose you over Pete Wentz any day,” he grinned, kissing the infant once more.
It had taken a good few hours of classic Bilvy-stubbornness, but William had finally given in to sleep and curled up on one end of the little couch, exhaustion quickly drawing him into a deep sleep right through the few hours until the morning. Sitting in silence, Gabe had been entirely content just watching the two of them, his two boys he smiled to himself.
The soft knock at the door made Gabe instantly snap his gaze up to meet the intruder, whoever it was who dared to even possibly disturb his Bilvy and Riley. Shaking his head, Gabe reminded himself that he was pretty much completely sleep deprived, really, and that knocking on a door at seven am was not actually a legitimate cause for him to want to punch someone. Particularly some small, sort of mousy receptionist person, who turned out to be the intruder, Gabe thought as he quickly got up, trying to snap himself into something resembling awake.
“Uh, hi,” she said quietly, taking a moment to glance over at Riley and make an ‘aww’ face, which actually earned her major points with Gabe for obvious reasons. “I just need to ask Mr Beckett something about the bill?”
“Oh,” Gabe replied, stifling his sudden urge to laugh at the ‘Mr Beckett’. And the fact that the last thing she said really wasn’t a question. “What about it? I mean, can I -”
“Well, it’s just that, um, I’m afraid the government health program has rejected Mr Beckett’s claim.”
“What?” Gabe actually had to take a moment to process that. “But, he’s a single parent, and… how - I mean, can we appeal?”
“You can… try,” the girl said, her voice and eyes full of regret at the news her job required her to deliver. “But once they’ve decided something, there’s usually no way they’ll go back on that decision. It’s just the way they work,” she shook her head, sighing. “I really am sorry.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Gabe managed a smile even as she handed the sheet of paper to him. “Uh… could you just tell me, can bills be paid long distance, like over the phone or whatever?”
“Sure,” she nodded, waiting to see if Gabe was going to ask anything else before smiling apologetically once more and closing the door behind her.
Shit, Gabe thought to himself as he stood there, looking at the numbers on the sheet of paper. It wasn’t so bad, they could probably pay it from the money they’d been saving through the past few months of careful budgeting. But that money was… just not an option. It had been saved for Bill’s classes which started in just a couple of weeks. There was just no way he was going to give that up.
Except he will, Gabe realized with a sigh. With William, Riley came first, period, and he didn’t want debts, Gabe knew. He also knew Bill would just talk about waiting, or try and convince Gabe and himself that he didn’t really want to go back to school.
He will, Gabe continued to think as he walked back and forth across the room, in no particular direction, unless I…
Decision made, Gabe stepped over to William’s still sleeping form and slipped his cell phone from his pocket as gently as he could before just as quietly walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Staring at the screen for a while longer than necessary Gabe found one of the pay phones and dialed the number before he could think too much about it and change his mind. It only rang a couple of times before the other line picked up, Gabe almost caught off guard as he tried to keep his breathing steady and hold it together.
“Hi,” he said hesitantly into the phone before swallowing hard, steeling himself. “Is that Mrs Beckett? Uh, yeah, hey. No, you don’t know me... but I need to ask you something.”
Author: minus_four
Rating: R overall
Pairing: Gabilliam
POV: 3rd
Summary: Around 16 months. He looked so tiny on the mattress so much bigger than his crib at home, William thought as his eyes traveled over his son, taking in everything from his half-closed eyes; looking just like they did when he was just falling asleep on top of William’s chest, to the IV that was steadily dripping fluids into Riley’s body
Disclaimer: This only happened in my brain (as far as I know). Title belongs to Cobra Starship.
Author Notes: Dudes if you read this and don't comment you're gonna make Riley cry, you mean mean people! Yeah, so I tried to not leave it too long :)
One.Two. Three.Four.Five.Six.Seven.Eight.Nine. Ten. Eleven.
“What exactly did she say?” Gabe sighed as he got silence in return after asking that question for the second time since they’d gotten in the cab. Actually, William hadn’t said a word since they’d left the restaurant, as if Gabe needed anything else to add to the pure dread that had flooded his system the second he’d heard the word ‘hospital’. “Bill,” Gabe leaned over and reached up to curl a hand around William’s neck. The other boy was facing away from Gabe, staring out the window as they drove. “Bilvy please, you gotta talk to me.”
“I can’t,” when William finally spoke the words were so quiet Gabe could barely hear them, but he just kept his fingers stroking softly at the back of William’s neck until the younger man turned to make eye contact at last; unshed tears that were only just being kept under control making those dark brown eyes seem even bigger than usual. “If I say it out loud, then it’s real.”
Just the look on William’s face was enough to push Gabe that little further, make his heart feel like it was clenching, like a little more pressure could make him break.
No, Gabe used that one word to snap himself out of it before he let himself spiral downwards. Breaking was the easy option; so much so Gabe almost wanted to break, give in to the fear and let his emotions control him. The hard part was staying in control, keeping his rationality and staying strong. Thinking about Riley being hurt, or sick… it was just about killing Gabe but he had to hold it together for William, because the situation really was killing the young father sat next to him, Gabe knew.
“Bilvy,” Gabe took a breath before speaking again, his words gentle but firm; deliberate. “This is real. And it’s hard, and scary, but we’re going to deal with it, okay? Just tell me what Sheila said on the phone.”
“Not much, really,” Bill swallowed hard, moving his hand to link his fingers with Gabe’s. “She just said that he had this sudden high fever, and - and this rash or something, and she said that it was more like a precaution than anything, so we shouldn’t - we shouldn’t worry,” William bit his lip after reciting the words which had been burned into his memory by the intensity of the circumstances he’d found himself in just a minute or two after being so happy; his worst nightmare, or at least the possibility of it.
Really, the uncertainty was the worst thing. Not knowing much about the situation, not being there when it happened, being stuck in a cab when he should be there, it all gave way for William’s imagination to run wild and produce dozens of scenarios in his mind, each of them worse than the last.
“How can I not worry?” William shook his head at Gabe; biting back the bizarre urge to laugh that had fleetingly risen in his chest. “I mean -”
“Bill - Bill just try and relax, please,” Gabe was almost pleading with William, carding his free hand through the younger man’s hair in an attempt to help him calm down a little. It was understandable, obviously, but Gabe could see Bill getting distraught, close to panicking even, and that wasn’t exactly going to help anything. “We don’t even know what’s wrong yet, it really could be nothing.”
“Exactly,” William’s voice was still anxious, now tinged with a kind of bitter anger but even as he spoke he leaned back until his head was resting on Gabe’s shoulder. “Could. Might. We don’t know anything,” he finished, willing the buildings outside to pass faster, bring them closer to Riley, but really only seeing one thing in front of his eyes, over and over...
“Riley Beckett,” William said the second they reached the desk at the ER. “He’s -”
“William,” they both turned to see Sheila walking towards them looking anxious but, as Gabe was also glad to see, with an air of keeping calm and in control.
“Where’s Riley?” he didn’t even say greet Sheila, just ran straight into asking all the questions he’d been desperate to since that phone call. “Do they know anything? I have to -”
“William honey, you have to calm down,” she said firmly, putting each of her small hands in his. “I’m going to show you where he is, and you can talk to the doctor, alright?”
William just nodded as Sheila literally led him down a corridor by the hand, not really trusting himself to speak just then, not with everything still buzzing around his head. After what seemed like an age of walking down hallways, past different people and activities that were just a blur to William, unimportant like every single thing right then that wasn’t his son, they finally reached a section Bill assumed (judging by the Disney characters that suddenly adorned every wall; all the cute little creatures he so did not appreciate just then) was Pediatrics.
And then, all at once without him really noticing, William found himself standing in front of a window looking past the blinds into the room where Riley was lying on a bed. He looked so tiny on the mattress so much bigger than his crib at home, William thought as his eyes traveled over his son, taking in everything from his half-closed eyes; looking just like they did when he was falling asleep on top of William’s chest, to the IV that was steadily dripping fluids into Riley’s body. The needle stood out from his skin, so harsh and just unnatural that it simply turned William’s stomach, even though he knew it was only helping him.
“What happened?” William turned to look at Sheila. “I mean, did something happen?”
“He just kept being fussy the whole time, and not eating anything. Then he suddenly felt really warm to me, so I called your doctor and she said to just keep an eye on it for a while, wait and see. I didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily,” she kept explaining, pretty calmly Gabe thought, considering the look of worry on William’s face. “So I did what she said, just kept him drinking and everything but then -” Sheila paused, knowing she had to tell William everything but not wanting to cause the boy any more hurt than he was already in, “then he had a - a seizure.”
“A seizure?” William repeated, his heart suddenly beating hard enough for him to feel it in his chest.
“It was just a few seconds, really, but then I called 911, and then you,” Sheila told him. “He was awake afterwards, he seemed okay, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. The paramedics told me that kind of thing happens a lot in kids with fevers.”
“Thank you,” Gabe said, hoping his eyes could convey his gratefulness in Sheila not only taking care of Riley, but helping him to keep Bill as calm about everything as possible, too.
“You know you don’t need to thank me,” Sheila replied, reaching up to touch William’s shoulder. “I just - can I do anything for you? Can I help at all? Anything.”
“You’ve done enough,” William shook his head, making a half decent attempt at a smile. “You should get back to John - he’ll be wondering where you are.”
“He will at that,” Sheila nodded, wavering between whether they might really need her and whether she’d be overstepping her bounds; forcing herself on them. Then she looked at Gabe and the decision was made at seeing all the support William could really need, right there with him. “You need anything, or learn anything -”
“We’ll call. Promise,” William bent down to give the much shorter woman a hug before she left with a small wave, still fighting her automatic maternal instinct towards William.
Without saying anything else William simply turned again to resume his watch through the window of Riley’s room, the feeling of pure helplessness almost overwhelming him as he did the only thing he could do just then; wait as he watched some nameless doctor and nurse busying themselves in Riley’s room.
For the moment Gabe stayed silent as well, just slipping his hand into William’s while he tried to take it in himself. His grip on William served two purposes, really. Of course Gabe wanted, needed to give him whatever comfort he could, but Gabe also knew that Bill was desperate to get into that room, even though they didn’t know if that was okay yet, or anything really.
His fingers entwined with William’s were just enough to keep the younger man grounded, keep him from rushing into Riley’s room and disturbing those in there from whatever they were doing, which probably wouldn’t have been the best thing.
“He doesn’t know these people, at all. They’re complete strangers to him, Gabe. What if - What if he’s scared?” William asked without looking at Gabe, the fear evident in his own voice as he raised his free hand to rest lightly on the glass in front of him.
“He looks like he’s just sleeping, Bill, and I’m sure they’ll let you in there soon, so -” he just managed not to really flinch or make a sound when William’s fingers suddenly tightened painfully around his own as the doctor shifted around the bed, revealing the tray the nurse was holding containing several syringes. “It’s okay Bilvy,” Gabe just stroked his thumb over William’s knuckles as he tried to reassure him, getting only a huffed response from the younger male, still staring hard through the glass. “It’ll be okay,” Gabe tried once more, keeping his eyes on William as he suddenly hung his head with a sigh before looking up at Gabe.
“Yeah,” he breathed out, managing the tiniest upward movement of one corner of his lips, something that in another time might have at least come close to a smile. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” he said quietly, turning to lean his body against Gabe’s and breathing out a sigh of relief as he let the older man wrap his arms around him.
“Don’t be sorry,” Gabe whispered in his ear, lips finding their way through chestnut hair to place one kiss on William’s neck. “I know you’re in hell right now, so you say whatever you need to say to get through it, yeah?” Gabe put his hands on Bill’s shoulders and eased the other male back so he could meet his eyes, make him understand that he was right there with him.
“I love you, so much,” William replied before turning back to check on Riley only to find his doctor walking up to them.
“Are you -”
“I’m Riley’s father, yes. Sorry. I just -” William ran his hand though his hair nervously as the doctor just gestured that he understood. Suddenly all the questions he’d wanted to ask vanished from his mind just as the source of all the answers stood in front of them. “What - I mean, do you -” William stumbled over his words again as his breathing started to get shaky once more.
“Can you tell us what’s wrong?” Gabe spoke into the following silence, earning a grateful squeeze from Bill’s fingers in his.
“The symptoms suggest an infection of some sort, and at this point we’re inclined to think it may be meningitis,” the doctor explained whilst William just tightened his grip a little on Gabe’s hand. The lack of a straightforward answer was… frustrating, for want of a more intense word. He wanted to know, he didn’t want words like inclined and may be for fuck’s sake.
“And how serious is that?” William asked, biting back the sarcastic repetitions of the doctor’s words he so wanted to let out. The man was just doing his job, after all, he reminded himself.
“That depends on what type of meningitis it is - if in fact it is meningitis,” oh, and it took all of William’s will power to suppress one really good eye roll at that moment. “Viral meningitis is the lesser type of infection, one that your child” he has a name, William growled inside his head as Gabe started stroking calming motions down Bill’s knuckles again, it’s Riley “will probably be able to fight off on his own, with plenty of fluids and rest and so on. However, Bacterial meningitis is more serious.”
“Serious, how?” William kept his answers short, not completely trusting his own mouth to behave itself just then.
“It requires strong antibiotics, extremely close observation, and although this is still curable eighty five percent of the time -”
“Fifteen percent isn’t,” William cut in, his tone almost angry, just at the situation, just at the fact that this was happening at all.
“Yes,” came the simple response, the doctor having had years of experience learning that at times like this, someone had to be blamed and it was more often than not going to be him. “There are also more risks of complications, but I’ll go through that with you later. Right now I need you to sign these consent forms to allow us to take blood and urine samples, as well as spinal fluid.”
“Spinal fluid?” Gabe spoke before he could catch himself, shock and disbelief clear in his tone.
“You’re putting a needle in his spine,” it wasn’t a question, just recognition from William at what needed to be done, though it didn’t keep his voice from shaking slightly.
“It’s the only way to really confirm meningitis,” the doctor said almost apologetically, handing William the forms. “The good news is that meningitis isn’t really contagious - the bacteria are everywhere really, and there’s no real reason why some people contract the infection and others don’t. So you can go in and be with him now, as long as you don’t come into such close contact as kissing him, sharing drinks or spoons or anything, and things like that.”
William barely waited for the man to finish speaking before thrusting the forms back at him and practically running into Riley’s room, immediately kneeling by the bed so he could reach out and softly stroke his hand over the toddler’s hair.
“Hey baby boy,” he spoke the words softly as Gabe knelt on the other side, just watching for now as William talked to Riley. “You really know how to make a scene, don’t you? Eh? What’s this then, scare tactics? I’m not getting you a pony, you know,” William leaned over to plant a gentle kiss on Riley’s hand, finding his son’s big brown eyes staring at him when he pulled back. “There you are,” he smiled for the first time since getting Sheila’s phone call. “How you doing, Ry, how you feeling?” William just kept murmuring the words to Riley while he stroked his hair, just hoping the contact was enough to comfort his son.
“Dada,” Riley said quietly, before rolling his head over to his other side as if instinctually looking for Gabe. “Pa.”
“Yeah relu, Papi’s here too,” Gabe smiled as Riley closed his tiny hand around Gabe’s thumb before he started to drift off to sleep again.
Determined to be there for Riley, William had insisted on staying for the spinal tap, though it turned out to be a good thing Gabe was actually the one doing any substantial holding of the infant, as William fled the room to empty the contents of his stomach in a nearby trash can at the first tiny whimper Riley had made. Luckily, that seemed pretty much the extent of Riley’s reactions otherwise Gabe might have been joining him - not that he'd shared that bit of information with William.
“He was such a brave boy,” Gabe said to William as his boyfriend joined him on the little couch near Riley’s bed, the two of them just watching the infant sleep for a while, Bill’s eyes fixed right on the tiny movements of his chest. He’d already been doing it for nearly two hours now, but he couldn’t have looked away even if he’d wanted to - that is until a sudden wave of realization hit him and William instantly sat up to look at Gabe, who’s own eyes went wide with shock and confusion.
“Bill -”
“Pete Wentz!” William yelled before wincing as he looked back to check Riley was still sleeping.
“Yeah,” Gabe said slowly.
“You have to go! He might still be there - or something…” he trailed off with a sigh as he really thought about the time and simultaneously really looked at the expression on Gabe’s face.
“I called Ryland right after we got here,” Gabe told him. “So he could try and contact the people. I don’t know, the last thing we want is for him to think that Pete Wentz coming to our show wasn’t important to us.”
“But, it was important. It is, and you… God Gabe,” William sighed. “Fuck,” he said right under his breath, just in case. “You should’ve -”
“Nope,” Gabe cut in, shaking his head. “There’s just no way I could have run out on you - both of you - to do a damn show, even a show for The Pete Wentz,” he said slightly teasingly, remembering William’s reaction just that afternoon, though it seemed like forever ago now. “And they’ll be other chances,” Gabe shrugged, shooting for nonchalance, but William knew him better than that; knew just how much this chance had meant to him, and therefore exactly how much more he and Riley must have meant.
“You don’t know that,” William said quietly, curling up on the tiny sofa and into Gabe’s chest, the older man’s arms automatically settling around his body. “So I just need to thank you for this, okay? You have no idea how it makes me feel.”
“Oh, I might have some idea,” Gabe smiled as he kissed the top of Bill’s head. “And anyway, as I see it - either The-Pete-Wentz will understand that my so- that Riley was sick, or he’s a son of b-i-t-c-h that I have no interest in working with anyway,” he punctuated the statement with a kind of ‘so there’ noise that made William smile.
“Did I mention that I love you?” he turned in Gabe’s arms and looked up into his eyes.
“Couple times today,” Gabe replied, a smile tugging at his own lips, “but it never hurts to hear it once more.”
Just as Gabe began to lean down so he could kiss William the door opened, making the younger man jump immediately to his feet. Not because he was embarrassed about Gabe, but because he knew what the doctor was holding in his hands.
“The test results show” as soon as the man had said those words William was already breathing out a sigh of relief at the pleased look on the doctor’s face, signaling his next words to be good news, “viral meningitis. Which means” he continued at the wide eyed look of expectance and just needing to know right the fuck now on William’s face, “that you guys can go home tomorrow morning, just as long as you keep an eye on everything and treat it like you would a case of flu; lots of fluids, plenty of -” whatever there should be plenty of then pretty much got lost as Bill practically launched himself onto the doctor, hugging him as tightly as he could.
Thank God, Gabe really did send up a silent prayer of thanks as he bent down to kiss the top of Riley’s head, before whispering in the infant’s ear.
“I’d choose you over Pete Wentz any day,” he grinned, kissing the infant once more.
It had taken a good few hours of classic Bilvy-stubbornness, but William had finally given in to sleep and curled up on one end of the little couch, exhaustion quickly drawing him into a deep sleep right through the few hours until the morning. Sitting in silence, Gabe had been entirely content just watching the two of them, his two boys he smiled to himself.
The soft knock at the door made Gabe instantly snap his gaze up to meet the intruder, whoever it was who dared to even possibly disturb his Bilvy and Riley. Shaking his head, Gabe reminded himself that he was pretty much completely sleep deprived, really, and that knocking on a door at seven am was not actually a legitimate cause for him to want to punch someone. Particularly some small, sort of mousy receptionist person, who turned out to be the intruder, Gabe thought as he quickly got up, trying to snap himself into something resembling awake.
“Uh, hi,” she said quietly, taking a moment to glance over at Riley and make an ‘aww’ face, which actually earned her major points with Gabe for obvious reasons. “I just need to ask Mr Beckett something about the bill?”
“Oh,” Gabe replied, stifling his sudden urge to laugh at the ‘Mr Beckett’. And the fact that the last thing she said really wasn’t a question. “What about it? I mean, can I -”
“Well, it’s just that, um, I’m afraid the government health program has rejected Mr Beckett’s claim.”
“What?” Gabe actually had to take a moment to process that. “But, he’s a single parent, and… how - I mean, can we appeal?”
“You can… try,” the girl said, her voice and eyes full of regret at the news her job required her to deliver. “But once they’ve decided something, there’s usually no way they’ll go back on that decision. It’s just the way they work,” she shook her head, sighing. “I really am sorry.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Gabe managed a smile even as she handed the sheet of paper to him. “Uh… could you just tell me, can bills be paid long distance, like over the phone or whatever?”
“Sure,” she nodded, waiting to see if Gabe was going to ask anything else before smiling apologetically once more and closing the door behind her.
Shit, Gabe thought to himself as he stood there, looking at the numbers on the sheet of paper. It wasn’t so bad, they could probably pay it from the money they’d been saving through the past few months of careful budgeting. But that money was… just not an option. It had been saved for Bill’s classes which started in just a couple of weeks. There was just no way he was going to give that up.
Except he will, Gabe realized with a sigh. With William, Riley came first, period, and he didn’t want debts, Gabe knew. He also knew Bill would just talk about waiting, or try and convince Gabe and himself that he didn’t really want to go back to school.
He will, Gabe continued to think as he walked back and forth across the room, in no particular direction, unless I…
Decision made, Gabe stepped over to William’s still sleeping form and slipped his cell phone from his pocket as gently as he could before just as quietly walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Staring at the screen for a while longer than necessary Gabe found one of the pay phones and dialed the number before he could think too much about it and change his mind. It only rang a couple of times before the other line picked up, Gabe almost caught off guard as he tried to keep his breathing steady and hold it together.
“Hi,” he said hesitantly into the phone before swallowing hard, steeling himself. “Is that Mrs Beckett? Uh, yeah, hey. No, you don’t know me... but I need to ask you something.”