Accident at Home

[mexwerewolf]

It's incredible how destiny and fate works. Some simple accidents can lead to the death of a person and in some dramatic accidents, people just come out of them without a single scratch. This comes to mind after the accident I had on friday morning.

As I was getting ready to take a shower and leave for work, the dogs were playing on the roof. I

Comments

[cassen_grrrl]

*wonders why it took my formatting and line spacing out of this when it posted it*

Oh, and use the relative pronoun "which" or "that" instead of repeating "the skylight" in that one sentence.

Now I put line spaces in here so if they're not there when you read this it isn't my fault! :P

[cassen_grrrl]

(Fixed comment)

Well, that does about sum it up. I'm very glad that all 3 of you are OK. It was quite a scary situation for me, as you know.

Also, proofread this - you have some incorrect verb tenses and verbs:

Remember when you tell a story that happened to you like that, keep it in the past tense, and keep your tenses consistent.
The past of build is built
The past of catch is caught
The past of stand is stood
The past of take is took
The past of will is would
The past of have is had

You also have some grammar mistakes:
Say "I don't think I need" rather than "I think I don't need". Same meaning, but we use the negative sentence here rather than the positive one.
Say "less than a second" not "less of a second"
You got hit with a shower of glass not a rain of glass.
The scar would have been on your face, not in it.
Your 2nd to last paragraph is 1 run-on sentence. :P

Sorry to be the English teacher here, but you know me!

[mexwerewolf]

Fixed :)

[cassen_grrrl]

There is still a spot where you mix tenses and use a continuous tense where you should be using past. The sentence about the shower curtain and the one after that I think.
Good fixing, though! :)

[mexwerewolf]

I like "Dead like me" a lot!!!!! It's a favorite of mine. Cassen_grrrl has both seasons and we were seeing all the episodes I missed when it was on TV.

Yeah, Dead like Me has many of the things I was talking about. The consequences of actions. Like Georgia's own death. I love the episode where the gravelings are taking a day off and everybody who were doing foolish things (like sticking knives into toasters) didn't die.