Blind, Chapter 5
Title: Blind
Author: captainraz
Rating & Warnings: PG-13; angst
Prompts: blind
Word Count: 922
Summary: Remus ignores a warning from Tonks about Greyback. Greyback's revenge has dire consequences for both of them, and for their relationship.
Author's Notes: Phew, this one was a struggle to finish in time. only one chapter left. and i feel slightly guilty cos i'm struggling to finish this and there are people out there churning out fics of epic proportions.
hot off the press and completely un-beta'ed
Prologue
Blinded
Sightless
Healing
Revenge
Remus had hoped that everything would start to go back to normal after the incident with Greyback. He was to be sorely disappointed.
The walls that Tonks had put up in her eyes had resolutely remained there, despite Remus’ best attempts to subtly, and not so subtly, batter through them. The lack of communication was driving Remus mad; Tonks was shutting him out. They weren’t communicating on any level, and Remus missed Tonks as badly as he had when he had left her to go underground the year before. And they were still living together.
Remus was a man well known for his seemingly limitless patience, be he could feel it starting to wear thin.
There was a war on, and they were seeing little enough of each other as it was. They were either out fighting Death Eaters, helping Harry in his Horcrux hunt or collapsing from exhaustion. The few minutes they managed to snatch together were filled with awkward silence and polite but cold conversation. It was almost as though the two were complete strangers rather than lovers.
And it was driving Remus mad.
Remus looked up from his contemplation of his fingernails to watch Tonks as she did the dishes whilst resolutely ignoring his presence. Time was they would have done it together; him teasing her about dropping the plates and her flicking bubbles at him whilst they both laughed until their sides hurt. Remus missed that, and he had had enough of this silence.
Time to screw up that Gryffindor courage I’m supposed to have, thought Remus.
He got up from the settee and went into the kitchen. He walked up behind Tonks and placed his hands on the sink either side of her, so that she was effectively trapped between him and the sink.
“How long are you going to keep on shutting me out?” asked Remus quietly, knowing she had to answer; there was no escape.
Tonks whipped around to face him, nearly breaking his nose with a bowl in the process.
“I haven’t the foggiest what you’re on about.” Tonks reply was instantaneous; a knee-jerk reaction that gave away her guilty conscience. Remus sighed.
“Don’t lie to me Tonks; I can’t bear for you to lie to me on top of everything else. Why are you shutting me out?”
Remus could see the anger boiling up behind her eyes and, despite the fact he knew it would be taken out on him, he wanted to do a celebratory dance; it was the most emotion he had seen in Tonks eyes for days.
“You have no idea what I’m going through, how I feel!” Burst out Tonks.
“That’s because you are shutting me out!” retorted Remus, barely keeping his temper in check.
Tonks’ hands were shaking with emotion, so Remus gently took the bowl out of her hand and placed it on the sink, an action which only served to further enrage the young witch.
“I told you not to go back to the werewolves,” Tonks seethed. “I knew that Greyback would do something horrible and he did! He ripped out your eyes, Remus.”
“Don’t you think,” spoke Remus in a hoarse whisper, “That losing my eyes was a small price to pay given the sacrifices that other people have made for this war; given that Sirius and Dumbledore gave their lives for this fight.”
“But I lost the man I love,” shouted Tonks. Remus looked surprised for a second before attempting to speak, but Tonks held up her hand to silence him. “Do you even realise how much of our communication was through our eyes? Your eyes were the only way I could really know Remus Lupin, who keeps himself hidden underneath a mask of politeness in order to protect himself. But I could always read your eyes like a book, and that helped me get close to you, because no one else could read your eyes quite the way I could. And now they’re just… dead, and it hurts to look at them, because they’re not your eyes. It feels like I’ve lost you; I feel blind.”
Tonks finished quietly, tears steaming down her cheeks. Remus pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her, his heart breaking.
“And so you though the solution would be to lock me out with your eyes?” Remus asked quietly, but without bitterness. “Oh Tonks, if anything we should have been communicating more; finding new ways to communicate, replace what we lost when I lost my eyes…”
“I know… I know,” choked Tonks. “I was just so angry; angry with you for going when I didn’t want you too, angry with Greyback for what he did. I was angry at myself because I let you drive me crazy when I should have been looking after you with care and patience. I didn’t want you to know how angry I was… because I shouldn’t have been angry”
“You have every right to be angry, Dora, but we can’t let Greyback tear us apart,” Remus whispered fiercely into her ear. “We can’t let him get to us because if we do then he wins. Okay?”
Tonks nodded and buried her head in his tear-soaked jumper. Remus smiled and stroked her hair.
“I’ll just have to learn to be communicative in other ways,” said Remus hoarsely. “So we don’t have this kind of misunderstanding again.” He pulled her to him and held on to her tightly. “We’ll get through this somehow…. We’ll get through this together; I promise.”
Author: captainraz
Rating & Warnings: PG-13; angst
Prompts: blind
Word Count: 922
Summary: Remus ignores a warning from Tonks about Greyback. Greyback's revenge has dire consequences for both of them, and for their relationship.
Author's Notes: Phew, this one was a struggle to finish in time. only one chapter left. and i feel slightly guilty cos i'm struggling to finish this and there are people out there churning out fics of epic proportions.
hot off the press and completely un-beta'ed
Prologue
Blinded
Sightless
Healing
Revenge
Remus had hoped that everything would start to go back to normal after the incident with Greyback. He was to be sorely disappointed.
The walls that Tonks had put up in her eyes had resolutely remained there, despite Remus’ best attempts to subtly, and not so subtly, batter through them. The lack of communication was driving Remus mad; Tonks was shutting him out. They weren’t communicating on any level, and Remus missed Tonks as badly as he had when he had left her to go underground the year before. And they were still living together.
Remus was a man well known for his seemingly limitless patience, be he could feel it starting to wear thin.
There was a war on, and they were seeing little enough of each other as it was. They were either out fighting Death Eaters, helping Harry in his Horcrux hunt or collapsing from exhaustion. The few minutes they managed to snatch together were filled with awkward silence and polite but cold conversation. It was almost as though the two were complete strangers rather than lovers.
And it was driving Remus mad.
Remus looked up from his contemplation of his fingernails to watch Tonks as she did the dishes whilst resolutely ignoring his presence. Time was they would have done it together; him teasing her about dropping the plates and her flicking bubbles at him whilst they both laughed until their sides hurt. Remus missed that, and he had had enough of this silence.
Time to screw up that Gryffindor courage I’m supposed to have, thought Remus.
He got up from the settee and went into the kitchen. He walked up behind Tonks and placed his hands on the sink either side of her, so that she was effectively trapped between him and the sink.
“How long are you going to keep on shutting me out?” asked Remus quietly, knowing she had to answer; there was no escape.
Tonks whipped around to face him, nearly breaking his nose with a bowl in the process.
“I haven’t the foggiest what you’re on about.” Tonks reply was instantaneous; a knee-jerk reaction that gave away her guilty conscience. Remus sighed.
“Don’t lie to me Tonks; I can’t bear for you to lie to me on top of everything else. Why are you shutting me out?”
Remus could see the anger boiling up behind her eyes and, despite the fact he knew it would be taken out on him, he wanted to do a celebratory dance; it was the most emotion he had seen in Tonks eyes for days.
“You have no idea what I’m going through, how I feel!” Burst out Tonks.
“That’s because you are shutting me out!” retorted Remus, barely keeping his temper in check.
Tonks’ hands were shaking with emotion, so Remus gently took the bowl out of her hand and placed it on the sink, an action which only served to further enrage the young witch.
“I told you not to go back to the werewolves,” Tonks seethed. “I knew that Greyback would do something horrible and he did! He ripped out your eyes, Remus.”
“Don’t you think,” spoke Remus in a hoarse whisper, “That losing my eyes was a small price to pay given the sacrifices that other people have made for this war; given that Sirius and Dumbledore gave their lives for this fight.”
“But I lost the man I love,” shouted Tonks. Remus looked surprised for a second before attempting to speak, but Tonks held up her hand to silence him. “Do you even realise how much of our communication was through our eyes? Your eyes were the only way I could really know Remus Lupin, who keeps himself hidden underneath a mask of politeness in order to protect himself. But I could always read your eyes like a book, and that helped me get close to you, because no one else could read your eyes quite the way I could. And now they’re just… dead, and it hurts to look at them, because they’re not your eyes. It feels like I’ve lost you; I feel blind.”
Tonks finished quietly, tears steaming down her cheeks. Remus pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her, his heart breaking.
“And so you though the solution would be to lock me out with your eyes?” Remus asked quietly, but without bitterness. “Oh Tonks, if anything we should have been communicating more; finding new ways to communicate, replace what we lost when I lost my eyes…”
“I know… I know,” choked Tonks. “I was just so angry; angry with you for going when I didn’t want you too, angry with Greyback for what he did. I was angry at myself because I let you drive me crazy when I should have been looking after you with care and patience. I didn’t want you to know how angry I was… because I shouldn’t have been angry”
“You have every right to be angry, Dora, but we can’t let Greyback tear us apart,” Remus whispered fiercely into her ear. “We can’t let him get to us because if we do then he wins. Okay?”
Tonks nodded and buried her head in his tear-soaked jumper. Remus smiled and stroked her hair.
“I’ll just have to learn to be communicative in other ways,” said Remus hoarsely. “So we don’t have this kind of misunderstanding again.” He pulled her to him and held on to her tightly. “We’ll get through this somehow…. We’ll get through this together; I promise.”