Comments | metamorfic_moon: Serpents, Chapter Four

mrstater in metamorfic_moon

Serpents, Chapter Four

Jul 12, 2007 12:34

Title: Serpents (4/?)
Author: MrsTater
Rating & Warnings: R for sexuality
Prompts: weakness; "In the light of Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."
Word Count: 9199 words
Summary: Two years into a relationship with Remus, and the correct way to deal with full moons continues to elude Tonks, dredging ( Read more... )

romance, mrstater, last chance full moon showdown, angst, drama

Comments 30

anonymous July 12 2007, 19:48:23 UTC

Wonderful job. I especially liked the ending to this chapter. I'm getting the last book on Saturday, but I can't imagine not reading fanfiction after I've finished it.

mrstater July 12 2007, 21:18:39 UTC

Thank you very much! The ending gave me a rough time; I expected it to go on and then what I had felt like dead weight on the scene, so I cut it. But I wasn't sure about the cut I made, so I'm really glad to know you felt it concluded the chapter well.

And I just want to say, if you're the same anonymous reader I've seen leaving so many of our members nice comments throughout the Showdown, you don't have to be a writer to join the community. We'd love to get to know you as a name 'round these parts. :)

tannim_ July 12 2007, 20:06:51 UTC

"Oh my God." Tonks' hands flew to her mouth. "What kind of vision? And it's definitely got to be that bloody Snape of Voldemort's?"

Should that be "snake" instead of "Snape?"

mrstater July 12 2007, 20:10:56 UTC

Oh, crap! LOL What a typo!

Ironically, I've been reading a theory about Snape being an animagus who just happens to be Nagini...

Thanks for the catch! LOL

shield_wolf July 12 2007, 20:57:34 UTC

Sorry.

:LOL:

I'm a menace, I know.

mrstater July 12 2007, 20:59:57 UTC

Hee. I laughed my head off at it. And it's not just you. I can't type anything beginning sna without it turning into Snape. The other day I wrote something about Tonks "snaping" her head around, and that was just all kinds of bizarre....But the good thing is, I decided Sirius has a variation on Exploding Snap cards that are Exploding Snape cards...

Thread 6

anonymous July 12 2007, 22:38:52 UTC

That was in my opinion the best chapter of this WIP.
The way Tonks thinks about Remus and how she compares their relationship to Molly's with Arthur is just lovely and reveals how deep their feelings for each other are. Really liked, how you wrote Tonks thoughts, how she discovers the importance of being with Remus.
Well done,
Belladonna

mrstater July 13 2007, 01:51:52 UTC

Thank you so very much! I had relatives in town last weekend and only got to work on this in spurts, and then after I finished the first draft I reworked a lot of it because I just wasn't happy with what had come out. I'm so pleased you think this established where Remus and Tonks are emotionally, because I really wanted to set that up before...other things happen. The time you spent reading, and your lovely words, are much appreciated. :)

hrymfaxe July 13 2007, 12:45:27 UTC

Oh their physical and emotional need for each other really pulls at me! And also the way Tonks suddenly realises that fighting this war is serious, and there is no guarantee of it ending in a good way for either of them (or their friends)...

And on a very different note.. Miss Scrubb? *G*

Can I have Remus in the alley please? :D

mrstater July 13 2007, 13:02:46 UTC

Balancing the emotional with the physical is something I'm still working to nail down in fic, so I couldn't be more pleased that you think I've captured that in a way that you can respond to emotionally. I'm pleased you like Tonks' growing awareness of just what she's gotten herself into, as well. I think no matter when she got involved with Remus, it wouldn't necessarily dawn on her till this time in her life what it means to be an Auror, and an Order member. I think she's a very emotionally sensitive person, and that her need for close relationships and support to cope with those things is very evident in HBP; so I really wanted to establish before things get even worse just how much she comes to depend on her colleagues, especially Remus, so that when he goes away her consequential unraveling makes sense.

And on a very different note.. Miss Scrubb? Hee. I'm always so amused in HP how everyone's names suit their personalities or jobs, and being crap at naming OCs, I decided that would work. But of course it made me think of ( ... )

cae_prince July 13 2007, 14:38:25 UTC

Another wonderful turnout in two short days :) And a lot more Remus to feast on as you promised ( ... )

mrstater July 15 2007, 13:07:03 UTC

Sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you on this! I've been pounding away at Ch. 5 to try and meet a goal of finishing up the first draft by the end of today...I'm about to get cracking on it, but wanted to reply to you while I have my morning coffee. To get my brain warmed up. Though it would be nice to have a brain to respond to your thoughtful comments...

I can't say how pleased I am that this took you on an emotional whirl. This chapter was tricky because of the plotty bits, and also because there were things I planned to include which didn't quite fit, and then when I cut them I wasn't sure where the emotion came in. Finally it came after I re-wrote the beginning with Amos Diggory instead of the Head of Aurors, and I was able to get my emotional angle for how Tonks was seeing and responding to Remus before he finally crumbled.

As I said down below to tweedledani, I think the key to Remus in this universe is that he's very good at not showing his emotions, but the longer he's been with Tonks, the more she sees through him, ( ... )